


Wait for It

by jeremy_bearimy



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Awkward Kissing, Best Friends, Bisexuality, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Forehead Kisses, Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Minor Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Padawan Anakin Skywalker, Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi, Parental Mace Windu, Platonic Cuddling, Possessive Anakin Skywalker, Slow Burn, Tired Mace Windu, Young Obi-Wan Kenobi, dumbasses to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:47:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 68,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25172599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeremy_bearimy/pseuds/jeremy_bearimy
Summary: Twelve-year-old Obi-Wan Kenobi defeats the first Sith in a millennium, but his biggest challenge is the desert-dwelling nine-year-old who won't leave him alone.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 230
Kudos: 1474
Collections: Anything But Qui-Gon





	1. The Saga Begins (Prologue)

**Author's Note:**

> This has been stuck in my head for a while. I haven't written anything fan-related since I was nine and writing awful Jonas Brothers self-insert fanfiction. I was watching the prequels and TCW and thought hmmmmm what if Anakin didn't see Obi-Wan as an authority figure he has to prove himself to, but is actually his reluctant best friend in whom he can confide?? aha ha, just kidding.. unless..?

“Anakin Skywalker, meet Obi-Wan Kenobi.”  


Obi-Wan looks this boy up and down. He must be two or three years younger than him, but his eyes look mature.  


“Hi. You’re a Jedi too? Pleased to meet you,” this _Anakin_ says, shaking Obi-Wan’s hand.  


Obi-Wan has a bad feeling about this.  


—  


“I will train him, then. I take Anakin as my Padawan learner.”  


The declaration is like ice down Obi-Wan’s spine. _No, no, no, no, no._ Obi-Wan has been Qui-Gon’s apprentice for less than a year and yet he’s already trying to be rid of him.  


“An apprentice, you have, Qui-Gon. Impossible, to take on a second,” Grand Master Yoda says.

Yes, please. Be the voice of reason here.

Master Windu adds, “The code forbids it.”  


“Obi-Wan is ready…”  


_No, he’s really not.  
_

“Obi-Wan is _twelve_ ,” Master Windu has to remind his master. Thank the Force for Master Windu.  


“Our own counsel, we will keep on who is ready.”  


“He is headstrong and he has much to learn of the Living Force, but he is capable. There is little more he can learn from me.”  


Obi-Wan feels hot tears burning his eyes, but he refuses to let them fall. He’s being abandoned, but he is _not_ going to cry about it, no matter how much it stings.  


—  


Obi-Wan goes through the motions, not really paying attention to what is happening.  


Members of the High Council are lauding him with praise. He’s killed the first Sith in a thousand years. He did this impressive thing, but he doesn’t deserve praise for a moment of weakness.  


He could have incapacitated the man, but he bisected him instead. He let his anger take over. He broke the Code and let his emotion take over. All of his frustration, all of his anger bubbling in him came bursting forth in one stroke of his lightsaber.  


“His dying wish was for someone to train Anakin,” he informs the Council. “He wanted to make absolutely sure.”  


Master Windu takes a step forward. “I’ll train the boy. If it was truly Qui-Gon’s dying wish, I will honor that wish.”  


Obi-Wan nods and fidgets. He _also_ needs a new master.

“Stopped the Sith, you did. Train you, I will.”  


Obi-Wan’s eyes go wide and his jaw just about hits the floor. He recovers from his shock and says, “Are you certain?” Master Yoda hasn’t taken an apprentice in many years, not since his former Padawan Dooku left the Order. He must be joking.  


“Certain, I very much am, young Kenobi.”  


He might faint. Obi-Wan is certain he’ll faint in front of the High Council.  


—  


“Where did you get your lightsaber?”  


Obi-Wan opens one eye to see the kid Qui-Gon would’ve abandoned him for standing at the edge of the meditation mat.  


“I didn’t ‘get’ it. I built it.”  


Skywalker looks moonstruck by the idea and sits down facing Obi-Wan, close as he can possibly get. “You _built it?_ I love building things. I built a droid, I built my own podracer, I used to repair the droids in my master’s shop.”  


“You had a master before Master Qui-Gon met you?”  


The kid frowns. “Not a Jedi Master. He owned me and my mother.”  


Oh. _Oh._ No wonder the kid is so awe stricken at literally everything. He grew up as a slave on a dustball.  


“Did Qui-Gon free your mother too?”  


Anakin shakes his head. “Just me. He tried with my mom, but couldn’t get Watto to give her up too.”  


Obi-Wan feels badly for him. He had to leave his mother and he lost Qui-Gon in the span of a week. At least Obi-Wan had someone to turn to. Quinlan and Siri gave him hugs when they found him despondent over the loss of his master and the awful thing he had to do.  


Skywalker has no one. The kids his age are annoyed that he’s already been chosen by a master without any training or instructing. He doesn’t even have a lightsaber yet.

“There are several planets where lightsaber crystals grow. All the younglings take a pilgrimage to one of those planets to find the kyber crystal that calls to them through a trial. After locating the crystal, we take them back onto the ship where a droid named Huyang instructs us on how to build our lightsaber.”  


“That’s so cool,” he says excitedly. “Do I get to go?”  


“Yeah, you do. I’ll probably be going with you. I lost my lightsaber on Naboo and it feels wrong to use Master Qui-Gon’s.”  


“Another crystal will call to you?”  


“I sure hope so.”  


“I’m glad we’re going together,” Anakin says.  


“Be wary. You’re cold now?” Obi-Wan asks. Anakin nods. “The planet Ilum is covered with ice.”  


There is something almost comical in the way Anakin’s eyes widen to the size of dinner plates. This kid is going to find a way of getting under his skin.


	2. The Archives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan tries to write a mission report, Anakin tries to make a friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate the positive energy in the comments! tbh my anxiety was like what r u doing putting this out in the world, but having positive feedback felt great :)

“What’re you doing?”  


Obi-Wan flinches at the abrupt noise, but merely sighs when he looks up and sees Anakin Skywalker.  


“I’m writing a report on the diplomatic mission Master Yoda took me on,” he explains, though he realizes he doesn’t _have_ to tell this kid what he’s doing.  


“Where’d you go?” the kid asks, sitting down beside Obi-Wan, drawing another sigh out of him.  


“Gigor,” Obi-Wan replies, the stylus pushing harder into the datapad.  


“Who lives there?”  


“Gigorians.”  


“What’s it like?”  


“Frigid.”  


“What does that mean?”  


“Cold. It’s covered in snow like Ilum.”  


The kid is pleased with the description and sighs contentedly, pleased as punch to just sit beside Obi-Wan.  


“Is there something you need?” Obi-Wan asks annoyedly, tapping his stylus against the table.  


“No. Master Windu is in a council meeting and told me I should get to know some of the other younglings and Padawans.”  


This kid is turning Obi-Wan into a generator of sighs. “You’ve met me already.”  


“Yeah, but I don’t _know_ you.” The kid has a point there. Nobody really _knows_ Obi-Wan, come to think of it. “You’re cool and you defeated a Sith, but that’s all I know.”  


“Well, that’s about it. That’s all there is to know about me,” he says sarcastically.  


“That’s _nothing!_ ” Anakin accuses. “There are so many other things! Like, uh… Hey, what was your mom like? Mine is really nice. I never had a dad, but I had her. She and I were sold to Gardulla the Hutt when I was just a baby, but then Watto won us in a bet. She took care of me and protected me when Watto got really mad at me. I know it hurt her to see me leave with Master Qui-Gon.”  


“I never knew my mother,” Obi-Wan tells him. “She and my father gave me over to the Jedi when I was less than a year old.”  


“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s why I’m here.”  


“What about… What about your friends? Do you have many friends?”  


He did. He had Quinlan and Siri and Bant and Reeft and Garen. Then things changed.  


“No. I don’t have any friends,” he admits.

“Why not?”

Obi-Wan could come up with a million excuses, but there’s only one real reason and he’s not going to confess it to this child. He could just tell him he can’t make time for his friends anymore between the lessons and the Padawan duties, but it’s a lie. He doesn’t have friends anymore because he doesn’t want anyone close. If people were close, maybe they’d see who he really is: a murderer.

He didn’t kill the Sith Lord because it was necessary. He didn’t kill him because it was life or death. He could have incapacitated him and hauled him in for questioning, but rage took over. He was prepared to lose his master to some punk kid from Tatooine, but he wasn’t prepared for him to be slain in cold blood. He saw red and touched the darkness and he can’t have anyone close to him anymore because if they knew, it'd all be over.

“I just don’t.”  


Based on the look on his face, Anakin believes him about as far as he can throw him, but doesn’t press the issue. Looks like he at least has _some_ tact.  


“I had a few friends on Tatooine. They were all slaves too." The kid pauses, clearly deep in thought. "I think Padmé is my friend. She’s the prettiest girl I’ve ever met and she’s a _queen_. I want to marry someone like her someday.”  


Obi-Wan drops his stylus. “You do realize you’re never getting married, right?”  


Anakin frowns. “That’s a really mean thing to say.”

“No, it’s not— Anakin, you’re a Jedi now. Jedi are not allowed to form attachments. Part of the reason they wanted to reject you is because of your attachment to your mother. You can’t be attached to anyone, so you can’t marry anyone.”  


“Oh. Nobody told me that.”  


“Sorry I had to be the one to burst that particular bubble,” Obi-Wan says as he picks his stylus up again.   


He hasn’t written anything down in about five minutes and can’t even remember what he was writing in the first place. He puts it back down so he can focus his attention on getting this annoyance to leave as soon as possible.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Anakin asks him. Obi-Wan shrugs. “I’ve lied to Master Windu about why I come down here. It’s not because I like to read.”  


“Oh?”  


“Master Nu has been teaching me _how_ to read. I fake it in lessons. Before I got here, I could only read Huttese inventory forms. I didn’t want him to think less of me because I don’t know how.”  


Obi-Wan’s heart fractures just the smallest bit. He puts a hand on Anakin’s small shoulder. “He’d never think less of you. He _chose_ you.” He doesn’t bother to say that Jocasta Nu likely told him anyway. “If you’d like, I’ll help you.” _WHAT ARE YOU DOING, KENOBI?_ “Want to read about a diplomatic mission to Gigor?”  


“I’d love that.”


	3. Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan receives a thoughtful birthday gift and gives one in return.

“I heard it’s your birthday.” Obi-Wan sighs as he hears that small voice behind him in the mess hall. Anakin Skywalker has come to be his friend again.

“Yes, it’s my birthday,” Obi-Wan confirms, rubbing his temple. Only thirteen, but already getting stress migraines.

The kid plops down beside him, close as humanly possible. He’s brandishing something in his hand, directing it toward Obi-Wan’s face.

“My mom would bake me a cake every year for my birthday and I tried to make one for you, but I kind of lit the kitchen on fire. Master Windu shook his head at me. I think he’s a little annoyed.”

Obi-Wan’s eyes actually focus on the thing in his face, despite the aura clouding his vision. It’s a flower. An Alderaanian flame-rose from the Temple Gardens, to be precise. It’s one of Obi-Wan’s favorite flowers, pure white marred by red and black and gold marbling. There’s no way Anakin could have known it’s Obi-Wan’s favorite.

“I knew it was your favorite. I saw there was a circle around it in the book on botany you helped me read. I had to get permission to pick one from the garden, but I got one for you. An Alderaanian flame-rose for my best friend’s birthday. I even clipped off all the thorns so you wouldn’t hurt yourself.”

Obi-Wan has to admit the gesture is sweet. The kid not only considers him his best friend, but went out of his way to give him a birthday gift.

“Thank you, Anakin. This is very kind,” he says, taking the flower’s stem between his fingers. “Do people often give flowers as gifts on Tatooine?”

“Nope. There’s not a lot of plants that grow there. Mostly scraggly, rough things that don’t need a lot of water. Nothing you’d want to give as a gift to someone you care about.”

It’s not as if Anakin is the first one to acknowledge his birthday. Bant left a plate of cookies on his doorstep earlier in the day, Quinlan punched his shoulder thirteen times, and Master Yoda gave him a new formal robe for diplomatic missions. He thinks of the river stone Qui-Gon gave him for his twelfth. Even _that_ isn’t as meaningful as this kid he’s known for two months picking a flower for him. So he fights the migraine and he smiles.

“Be careful who you give roses to,” Obi-Wan tells him. “Oftentimes it’s a gift from a boy courting a girl.”

“Oh. Did I do something wrong?”

“I’ll let it slide this time,” Obi-Wan says teasingly. “This was very thoughtful. Thank you.”

Anakin gives him the toothiest smile Obi-Wan has ever seen. “I’m glad you like it.”

Obi-Wan knows exactly where he’ll put it. He has a vase he’s been storing incense in, but this takes precedence. He’ll find another place for that. This is something special. Something _important_ , even. 

The fact that Obi-Wan has feelings about this is evidence of this boy has wormed his way into Obi-Wan’s heart somehow. Parasite. He must have some sort of mind-controlling parasite. That’s it.

“It’ll be my birthday in a week,” Anakin says offhandedly. “I’m sad it’s not at home.”

“This is your home now,” Obi-Wan reminds him. 

“You’re one of the only things that makes it feel like home.”

Oh. _Oh._ He really _does_ mean a lot to Anakin. He’s been standoffish and sometimes outright rude, but apparently he reminds Anakin of the safety and security of home. He’s imprinted on him like a baby bird.

“That sounds dangerously close to attachment, Anakin.”

The boy looks down at his shoes. “I know. But Jedi can at least have friends, right?”

“Absolutely.”

Anakin hugs him. _Of course he hugs him._ “You’re my best friend, Obi-Wan.”

Obi-Wan has consciously distanced himself from his friends, but Anakin’s persistence has told Obi-Wan’s social distancing to shove it and made a close, if reluctant, friend out of him. Of karking course he’d do that.  


—  


Obi-Wan may or may not have baked a cake. Master Nu directed him to a book where he could find indiginous spices from Tatooine. He spent a good amount of time figuring out how to preheat the damn oven and he might have given Master Yoda a fright at the sight of his Padawan’s face covered in stark white flour.  


He feels bashful as he knocks on Master Windu’s door, hoping that he’s the one who answers and he doesn’t have to receive another hug.

Unfortunately, that’s not the case. Anakin sees what he’s brought and hugs him tightly around the middle.  


“Thank you, Obi-Wan,” he says with a brilliant smile. “Come in. We can eat it together.”  


He can’t say _no_. It’s the kid’s birthday, for Force sake. He’s ten now. Same age as Bant. What is it about Obi-Wan that makes younglings flock to him?  


Obi-Wan acquiesces and they end up eating the majority of the cake themselves.   


“My mom uses a really similar spice blend in her cooking. Where did you find that recipe?” Anakin asks.  


“Oh, the recipe itself came from Master Yoda. The spices I looked up in the Archives.”

Anakin grins at him. “You’re such a good best friend.”  


“You told me about your mother and the cake and I thought since it was your first birthday without her…”  


Anakin hugs him. Of course he does. The kid seems to crave physical affection, or really _any_ sort of affection.  


Obi-Wan hugs him back for the first time.


	4. All I Have to Do is Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin can't sleep, Obi-Wan opens up.

Grand Master Yoda has duties to attend to at the Jedi Temple, but he doesn’t want to deprive his Padawan of real experience. That’s what led to Obi-Wan Kenobi sharing a transport with Master Windu and Obi-Wan’s friend.  
  


Master Windu fell asleep rather easily, needing a bit of rest from the rambunctious Padawan of his, but Obi-Wan can’t sleep. He stares at the durasteel ceiling and sighs. Sleep has eluded him a lot since he killed the Sith Lord. Whenever he closes his eyes, he sees the tattooed face and yellow eyes, the look of shock before he tumbled down the shaft in two pieces. So he keeps his eyes open. It’s safer to keep his eyes open.  
  


Apparently sleep won’t come to Anakin either, because he kneels beside Obi-Wan’s bunk. “Can I sleep in your bed?”  
  


“Why?” he asks, voice quiet enough that he won’t wake Windu.  
  


“I’m cold and I’ve been having nightmares,” Anakin admits. “My mom would always let me sleep with her when I had nightmares. I think you have nightmares too.”  
  


If he has another nightmare of Qui-Gon’s murder, he might actually go to the mind healer suggested to him. Can’t hurt to try.  
  


He sighs. “Fine.”  
  


Anakin climbs into Obi-Wan’s narrow bunk and nestles right in, conforming to the curve of Obi-Wan’s side. When Anakin asked to sleep in his bed, Obi-Wan didn’t realize it meant  _ cuddling _ . It’s the first night of dreamless sleep he’s had in six months.  
  


—  
  


The man who meets them is tall with glimmering golden skin, standing at least two feet taller than Obi-Wan, silken white hair falling down to his shoulders. He’s, by far, the most ethereal looking being Obi-Wan has ever seen, even compared to the people of Gala.  
  


“Welcome to Ellada, Master Jedi. I am Alkis, Queen Ailene’s advisor.”  
  


“I am Master Mace Windu and these are Padawans Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker. Thank you for having us on your beautiful world.”   
  


“You are too kind, Master Jedi. I am to lead you to the palace.”  
  


Obi-Wan tries to listen to Master Windu and the advisor’s conversation, but he keeps getting distracted by the strength of the Force on the planet. It makes the river stone in his pocket vibrate, it makes the ten-year-old on his left vibrate. He’s the Chosen One, of course. Stronger in the Force than any other being, even these Elladians.  
  


“Calm yourself,” Obi-Wan instructs as Master Windu makes conversation. “Take deep breaths, try to center yourself.”  
  


Apparently his first instinct to do that is to grip Obi-Wan’s hand. He  _ does _ seem to settle for the first time since setting foot to the surface. He allows their hands to linger for a few moments, but as soon as he goes to pull his hand away from Anakin’s, the boy’s grip tightens. He is officially on a hand-held stroll with Anakin Skywalker.   
  


_ For Force’s sake, what did he do to deserve this?  
  
_

—  
  


After an evening’s guided meditation, Master Windu gives them a solid wake-up time. He tells them not to goof off. He tells them very explicitly to  _ go the kark to sleep.  
  
_

Obi-Wan would  _ love  _ to take that direction, but Anakin won’t. stop. talking.  
  


“And that’s how Master Windu and I stopped the terrorist insurgency.”  
  


“Anakin, I think your master expects us to be up early in the morning. We should go to sleep.”  
  


It really shouldn’t have been a surprise for Anakin to stop jumping on his own bed and try to weasel into Obi-Wan’s.  
  


“You cannot possibly be cold in this climate.”   
  


“I slept better with you,” he says with a shrug. “No nightmares or anything.”  
  


“I believe as Jedi we are meant to soothe ourselves with the Force, not by climbing into bed with someone.”  
  


“I’ll talk to Master Windu about it later. For now, can I share a bed with you?”  
  


Obi-Wan sighs and nods. “Alright then.”  
  


“Yippee!”  
  


_ For kriff’s sake.  
  
_

It’s mostly silent as Anakin cuddles up to him, but eventually he says, “You’re young for a Padawan too.”  
  


“Most boys are picked around thirteen.”

  
“But you were picked when you were eleven.”  
  


“I wasn’t  _ picked _ . I was… I was punished. I kept getting into too many fights. My anger got the better of me. They shipped me out to a planet in the Outer Rim to be with the AgriCorps. As luck, or rather Master Yoda’s machinations he claims are the Force’s will, Master Qui-Gon was on the same transport to the same planet. We got into a few scrapes involving his first Padawan where I was fitted with a collar that would blow up and I was willing to lay down my life to save a planetful of people, but eventually he called me his Padawan. It was a slip of the tongue and he was still reluctant, but he was stuck with me. He’d outright rejected me before, but he almost had no choice anymore.”  
  


“So you weren’t chosen.”  
  


“I was a mistake… I left the Order once. Briefly. Part of me wonders if that’s why Qui-Gon was so ready to push me out of the nest. Anyway, I’m surprised Master Yoda didn’t put me back in the AgriCorps after Qui-Gon’s death.”

  
“You’re a hero. They can’t hide you away.”  
  


“Hero?”  
  


“You killed the first Sith in a millennium.”

  
Obi-Wan sharply exhales through his nose. “That’s not all that impressive. I could’ve… I  _ should _ ’ve done so many things differently.”  
  


“Well, I’m glad you’re here,” Anakin says, emphasizing that by snuggling even closer.  _ Good gods.  _ “Do you know any lullabies, Obi-Wan?”  
  


“There is no way in hell I am singing you to sleep,” he replies.  
  


Anakin laughs at him. “No. I know you have nightmares too. When I don’t have you, the Force feels a little empty, so I fill it with songs my mom used to sing me when I was sick. Do you have any songs like that?”  
  


“No. You know I didn’t know my mother.”  
  


“Not even the crèche masters? Nobody ever sang you a lullaby?” Anakin asks incredulously. “That’s so sad!”  
  


Obi-Wan sighs. He supposes it might be sad for someone who was raised by a loving parent. Obi-Wan doesn’t have a single memory of his parents. His mother and father are figments of his imagination and they always will be. He was given up. He didn’t get to make a choice to stay with his parents. Not like Anakin did.  
  


“When you say you were fitted with a collar that could blow up, was it a slave collar?”  
  


Obi-Wan’s insides turn cold.  _ Right _ . Anakin wouldn’t miss that morsel of backstory he accidentally dropped in. A former slave himself… Obi-Wan can only guess what his face looks like based on the quivering in his voice. He must be frowning.  
  


“It was only for several days.”  
  


Anakin doesn’t say anything to him. Not for a good long amount of time. Long enough that Obi-Wan wonders if he finally fell asleep.  
  


But he didn’t. He eventually asks, “Why didn’t you tell me?”  
  


“I didn’t think it was important,” Obi-Wan replies in a small voice.  
  


“It’s important to me,” Anakin says, voice equally little. Obi-Wan exhales shakily. This is awkward. “I forgive you though. How could I not forgive my best friend?”  
  


Obi-Wan finds himself smiling despite himself. Then he sobers.  _ How could I not forgive my best friend? _ He feels anxious, but he knows if anyone is going to understand, it’s Anakin.  
  


“I touched the dark side when I killed the Sith Lord. I touched the dark side because I was so angry that he murdered Qui-Gon and rage blinded me.” He never imagined him saying that to  _ anyone _ , let alone Anakin. He feels safe in speaking to him though. He’d never hurt him. He’ll forgive him.  
  


“That must have been scary. I’m sorry.”  
  


“It’s… I just needed to tell someone.”  
  


“Master Windu said that there’s light and dark in us all and Jedi make a conscious effort to reject the dark. If you’re still doing that, I think it’s okay. It was the heat of the moment when you killed the Sith Lord. It’s not like you’re constantly using the dark side in a search for power. You’re a good person, Obi-Wan. Be kinder to yourself.”  
  


“You forgive me?”  
  


“Of course I do. I think Grand Master Yoda would too. You should tell him.”  
  


Obi-Wan sighs. “I think I will.”  
  


—  
  


“The source of your anger, what was?”  
  


Master Yoda is taking this a lot better than Obi-Wan anticipated. Maybe he should listen to Anakin more often…  
  


“I clawed and fought for Qui-Gon’s approval and to have him taken away and having that all be in vain made me angry. Angrier than when I’d duel Bruck. I know I’m an angry person, but I don’t want to be. The business with the Sith Lord really emphasized that. I don’t want to be angry anymore.”  
  


“Helped, has your friendship with young Skywalker?”  
  


“Yes,” Obi-Wan admits, color rushing to his cheeks. “He’s a good friend. A little clingy and very overzealous, but he’s a good friend. He encouraged me to tell you about this. He was the first person I felt comfortable telling and he was right that you wouldn’t expel me from the Order.”  
  


“On the contrary, my Padawan. Admitted your mistake, you have. Learn from it, you shall. A stronger Jedi, you will become.”  
  


It’s a weight off of Obi-Wan’s shoulders. A weight he’d still be bearing had it not been for Anakin’s insistence on cuddling on one of the most humid planets in the galaxy.


	5. Knighted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan has a milestone birthday, Anakin has a lot to say.

Obi-Wan loses track of how many missions he and Anakin have gone on together by the time he turns 21.  
  


A lot of the time, one of their masters is needed at the Temple, so they end up as a duo with either Master Windu or Grand Master Yoda.

  
More than half the time, Anakin ends up migrating from his own bunk to Obi-Wan’s, which only got a _little_ awkward as puberty hit them both like high-speed transports, gangly limbs accidentally tangling together in the night.

  
Now that they’re both grown, Anakin being a week shy of being of age and Obi-Wan hitting the age of majority three years ago, it happens a lot less. It’s not as easy to explain away to their masters as it had been as kids having nightmares. Now it’s just two grown men cuddling for no reason other than habit after the better part of a decade.

  
The fact that they’re two grown men also makes it a little weird that Anakin has left nine flame-roses on his doorstep, one for each birthday they’ve spent together. After all, Obi-Wan _did_ tell Anakin that first time that boys give roses to girls they’re courting. 

  
Still, it means a lot. Obi-Wan kept all of them, pressed in that book on botany where Anakin first saw them.

  
Obi-Wan swears he almost has a heart attack when he turns with the vase in hand and sees Grand Master Yoda standing not far behind him.

  
“Get dressed, you must. This morning, go in front of the Council, you will.”

  
“No time for breakfast then?”

  
“Something portable, you should eat.”

  
In the kitchen, the flowers get placed on the counter and a protein bar gets pulled out of a cabinet.  
  


He and his Master make light conversation as they take the latter’s doddering pace down the halls of the Temple.   
  


They talk about Anakin’s flowers and the cakes Obi-Wan bakes for Anakin every year. They talk about some of the new Padawans and their Masters and some of the younglings Yoda has taken a shine to this year.  
  


Luckily their quarters aren’t far from the Council chambers and they arrive not long after their departure.

  
Obi-Wan always feels so small in front of the Council. Such powerful and impressive men and women all staring directly at him.  
  


“Padawan Kenobi, you must have some idea of why you’re here,” Master Windu says.  
  


He shakes his head, his mouth growing dry. Is he being formally censured for something? Are they convinced the flowers are some show of attachment? “No, Masters, I haven’t any idea why I’m here.”  
  


“Old enough, we believe you are. Your Trials, you passed many years ago.”  
  


Oh. _Oh._ This is about being knighted _._ He’s going to be _KNIGHTED?!  
  
_

“Skill in your duel against a Sith Lord,” Master Plo Koon says.  
  


“Courage in battling a Sith at the age of twelve,” Master Gallia adds.  
  


Master Shaak Ti continues, “Flesh in the pain of losing your first Master.”  
  


Master Windu speaks next. “Spirit and Insight in confronting the darkness you summoned to slay the Sith.”  
  


“You faced these trials many years ago, but we would be remiss if we knighted a mere child. No, we’ve waited, but we’ve waited long enough,” Master Ki-Adi-Mundi says. “Congratulations, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Your ceremony will take place in two days.”  
  


—  
  


“No way. No _way!”_ Anakin exclaims. “You’re the youngest Knight in recent history. Took ‘em long enough if you passed your trials almost a decade ago. Seems like Qui-Gon was right about you being ready. I’m so _proud_ of you.” Anakin gives him a bone-crushing hug, pulling him tight.  
  


“Thank you, Anakin,” he mumbles against his best friend’s shoulder.  
  


“Guess my flowers are a shitty birthday present in comparison,” Anakin says as he releases him from the hug, allowing him to finally _breathe._

  
Obi-Wan rolls his eyes. “Don’t compare a rite of passage for a Padawan to the kindness of a friend’s gift. Two entirely different things.”  
  


“Let’s go tell Vos. He’ll freak,” Anakin says.  
  


“He has twenty-one punches waiting for me, so I’m holding off on that. Bant. She needs to know.”

—  
  


_By the rights of the Council, by the will of the Force, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you may rise. You are now a Knight of the Jedi Order._

  
“Y’know, I thought I’d be way more jealous than I am,” Anakin says, tickling Obi-Wan’s nose with his braid. “Mostly I’m just proud that you’re _my_ best friend. Fuck everyone else.”  
  


“Language,” Obi-Wan says, rolling his eyes and slapping away Anakin’s hand. “You’re the Chosen One, you’re surely not far behind. Considering you’re coming of age in just a few days, I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re put through the Trials within the next year or two.”  
  


“I’m going to love proving you wrong on that front. Man, Master Windu is a great master, but he’s still dragging his feet about Vaapad.”

  
“It takes a strong spirit not to fall to darkness. He knows it better than most and he sees a lot of himself in you. He just wants you to be prepared. Focus on Djem So for now. You’re better than anyone I know.”  
  


“Look at you, dispensing wisdom like you’re a Master. I see that on the horizon for you.”

  
“Oh, we’ll see. I’m not sure I could ever successfully raise a Padawan. I’m not a great teacher.”  
  


“You taught me how to talk less and listen more, Master Kenobi.”  
  


“That was an uphill battle.”  
  


Anakin playfully punches his shoulder and smiles. “I, um… I think you’re gonna do great.”  
  


“Thanks, Anakin.”  
  


There’s a small, amiable silence before Anakin blurts out, “I love you.”  
  


Obi-Wan’s smile fades. “You… what?”  
  


“You’re my best friend and you have been for half my life. I love you.”  
  


“Oh.” Obi-Wan was worried. He’s _still_ worried, but at least he won’t have to deal with his best friend being in love with him. That would have been far too much to handle. “In that case, I love you too. Love is… We shouldn’t be so close. Love is so dangerously close to attachment. People fall to the dark in the name of love.”  
  


“Well, I’m not going to fall to the dark side for you. Loving you is actually an incentive to stay in the light,” Anakin says. “I think you feel the same way.”  
  


“You know I flirted with the dark side to avenge Qui-Gon.”  
  


“You flirt with everything and everyone,” Anakin says teasingly. “Seriously, Obi-Wan, I think all these years later you’re still selling yourself short on everything because of that one event. You’re not the monster you’ve built in your own mind. They wouldn’t have knighted you if they thought you were a risk.”  
  


“Anakin, I—”  
  


It’s barely there, just a soft brush of Anakin’s lips against his forehead. “Please, Obi-Wan, for me. Don’t be afraid to love.”  
  


He won’t. He _can’t._ If he’s afraid to love, he’s going to be afraid his whole life.   
  


He lets go of the fear and feels Anakin there in the Force, waiting for him to take his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going into the Clone Wars the chapters are going to get a lot meatier, but I've also got a paper to write for one of my summer classes so who knows when the next update will be??


	6. Tonight You Belong to Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin does some investigating, Obi-Wan cuts someone's arm off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for some Anakin POV!

Since Obi-Wan’s knighting, Anakin has been sent on many missions with him without any other supervision. Of course this is great because he gets to spend so much time with his best friend, but it also rubs him the wrong way. Obi-Wan is only three years older, but he gets to operate, on some level, as Anakin’s Master. It feels as if he’s not a peer anymore. It feels as if there’s a disconnect.  
  


He doesn’t have any reservations about talking to Obi-Wan about this because he hardly has any reservations about talking to Obi-Wan about anything. Obi-Wan is reassuring and kind. He lets Anakin vent his frustrations and they work through them. Most of all, he assures him that nothing has changed between them as a result of his knighting and the missions assigned to them.  
  


“You are still my equal. They wouldn’t let us out on our own if they didn’t believe in the both of us. Your time is coming soon, Anakin. I swear this to you.”

  
“You’d better be right, Kenobi. You rolled over in your sleep onto my braid last night and almost ripped it out of my head.”  
  


—  
  


The ball at the Arisi royal family’s manse is undoubtedly the fanciest place they’ve done a bodyguard detail. While they’re meant to be guarding the king, each of the nine princesses wants a dance with both of them. Anakin is happy to oblige, using the dance skills drilled into him at the Temple for this exact purpose, but Obi-Wan is more reluctant.  
  


“Will you dance with  _ me _ at least?” Anakin proposes. “You don’t even have to take your eyes off of the king if you don’t want to.”  
  


Obi-Wan sighs and seems to contemplate. Ultimately he shrugs. “I’m not taking my eyes off of him.”  
  


“Then you’d better lead.”  
  


As Obi-Wan rests his hand on his mid-back, Anakin feels a flicker of something up his spine. He can’t put his finger on what exactly it is, but it feels nice and warm as it settles in his chest.  
  


Obi-Wan is a superb dancer. He’s graceful, he’s smooth as silk, he’s a wonderful partner, both in dancing and in Jedi affairs. 

  
“One of the daughters suspects her eldest sister’s fiancé,” Anakin tells him.  
  


“The one they’re celebrating tonight?”   
  


“He wants the power that comes with being the queen’s consort. At least that’s what the sixth sister told me.”  
  


“Then we just keep him away.”  
  


“Third sister says he’s a coward. Not to mention he’d probably need to deflect any suspicion from himself. He’d probably do something indirect. Poison would cause an inquest into what and who could’ve been involved. A hitman would very clearly have been someone else. That’s my bet on the method. Luckily you have lightning fast reflexes and bacta packets tucked into your belt.”  
  


“Oh, so this is all my responsibility?” Obi-Wan asks in an amused voice.   
  


“Hey, I did the investigating! You get to be the action hero on this one.”  
  


“Aren’t I always?”

  
“I’m plenty heroic. Pretty sure you’re the one who talks and talks and I’m the hero with the lightsaber.”  
  


“Whatever you must tell yourself to sleep at night.”  
  


“All I need to sleep at night is you, my dearest Obi-Wan.”  
  


Obi-Wan has a few emotions flit over his features before settling on an eyeroll. “Don’t let the Council hear you say that.”  
  


“You don’t think Ki-Adi-Mundi wants to hear that Obi-Wan Kenobi is the cuddliest member of the Jedi Order?”  
  


“ _ You  _ are the cuddly one. I’m merely your victim.”

  
“Victim?” Anakin asks with a snort. “You love it, Master Kenobi.”   
  


Obi-Wan almost always grumbles when Anakin teases him by calling him Master Kenobi, but he merely scoffs this time. “Agree to disagree.”

  
As it turns out, Anakin’s right. Obi-Wan subdues a hitman who immediately points a finger to the guest of honor. It’s not surprising that he’s right per se, but it  _ is _ surprising that he’s the one who did all the legwork. Anakin really  _ is _ more of the action hero in their partnership, if he does say so himself. Obi-Wan is the smooth-talking good listener and Anakin is the strike first, talk later type.  
  


This was probably Obi-Wan’s intention all along. He’s not Anakin’s Master, nowhere near it, but he’s been helping guide and nudge him and forcing him to step into a different role is certainly something Masters Windu and Yoda could have encouraged him to do. Clever Obi-Wan Kenobi, always pulling a fast one on poor unsuspecting Anakin Skywalker. Actually, for some unknown reason, it makes Anakin even fonder of his best friend.  
  


—  
  


When they return to the Temple, Obi-Wan has to report to the Council, but Anakin decides to report to the dining hall because he feels ravenous. Obi-Wan suspects he’s hitting one last growth spurt, just to spite him by towering over him.  
  


He’s glad to see friends sitting around a table and Bant waves him over to join them.

  
“How was your latest one-on-one mission with Obi-Wan?” she asks excitedly.  
  


“It was a lot of fun. He tricked me into diplomacy and he got to cut someone’s arm off. It was a great party. How was your mission with Master Tahl?”  
  


“It wasn’t a party, that’s for sure,” she says, though her smile is bright as always.   
  


“Vos is about to ship out with Master Tholme to Wild Space. Say your goodbyes now because pirates will probably kidnap him,” Garen dramatically pronounces, clapping Vos on the shoulder.   
  


“Stop being an idiot,” Siri tuts. “Quinlan, if you get kidnapped by pirates, I will personally smack Garen across the face for suggesting it.”  
  


When he first arrived at the Temple, Anakin regarded this group as Obi-Wan’s friends. Even after Obi-Wan’s brush with the dark side and his distancing from his friends, they all still clearly cared for him. Once he worked through those issues, Anakin was afraid he’d be abandoned for these friends, but it was quite the opposite. Obi-Wan introduced them and, while nobody could ever possibly compare to Obi-Wan, they’ve become good friends over the years.

  
He wonders what it’d be like if he hadn’t gotten to know Obi-Wan. He wonders what it’d be like if they hadn’t been put on that mission to Ellada. Things would be so different. He’d be all alone. His only friend would be the Chancellor. He wouldn’t be  _ happy. _ He wouldn’t be thriving.  
  


—  
  


Anakin pounds on Obi-Wan’s door rapidly. “I know you’re just meditating in there.”  
  


He hears a loud sigh come from inside and after a few seconds, the door clicks open.  
  


“What do you want, Anakin?” Obi-Wan asks, pretending to sound exhausted with him.  
  


“Can’t sleep. Know you can’t either.”  
  


Obi-Wan sighs again. “Come in.”  
  


Anakin sits on Obi-Wan’s couch and waits for his friend to join him. He curls around Obi-Wan’s body and hums contentedly. Obi-Wan has never denied him physical affection, even when he barely liked him. 

  
“Just going to fall asleep in my lap tonight?” Obi-Wan asks.  
  


“Yes, so you shutting up would be highly appreciated,” Anakin replies in a teasing tone.  
  


“You act as though  _ I’m  _ the one who needs to be constantly talking. Yes, I tend to prefer actual negotiations to aggressive ones with a lightsaber, but I’m perfectly capable of being succinct.”  
  


“No, you definitely talk a lot. Long, discursive ramblings. You’d have made a good politician.”  
  


“And here I thought we were friends.”  
  


“Oh, we’re far past friends. We’re  _ attached _ . I’m basically like a leech.”  
  


“You  _ do _ have certain qualities that remind me of a parasite.”  
  


“Face it, Kenobi, you belong to me.”

  
Obi-Wan doesn’t initially respond verbally, but by rubbing Anakin’s back just the way he likes. Yep, he definitely belongs to him. He has him  _ trained.  
  
_

“If I’m yours, then you must be mine.” Anakin feels a warmth in the Force at that declaration. Obi-Wan agrees with him on that much. “As much as I scold you about attachments, I’m firmly and securely attached.”  
  


“Good. Glad to hear we’re in agreement about this. Let’s go to bed.”  
  


“You’re certainly bossy.”   
  


“It’s all part of my charm,” Anakin replies, flashing him a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saw a tweet yesterday that said "normalize giving the homies forehead kisses" and I was like yep that's Anakin at the end of the last chapter.


	7. The Bodyguard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan makes a last minute stop before Kamino, Anakin has a heart-to-heart with his Master.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Both Anakin and Obi-Wan POV in this one!

They still go out together and Anakin is getting restless. This last time, Anakin had to rescue Obi-Wan when he fell into a nest of gundarks. He did that, but he’s still not ready for his trials? Banthashit.

He’s sent to guard Padmé Amidala after attempts on her life while Obi-Wan investigates the assassination attempts. Normally they would be working together, but Anakin feels a little happy to be able to go on a mission by himself. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t miss Obi-Wan.

It chafes him a little that Vos gets to help Obi-Wan on his assignment. Sure, Vos is a friend to them both, but  _ he _ and Obi-Wan are The Team. Vos is only assisting because of his power of psychometry, but it still bothers Anakin on a level he doesn’t understand.

Anakin relays this to Padmé on their trip to Naboo. In between his clunky attempts at flirting, he tells her how close he and Obi-Wan have become since the blockade of Naboo and how he wants so badly to be knighted already and how annoyed he is with his friend Quinlan karking Vos.

“Sounds like you’re envious,” Padmé suggests.

He furrows his brow and shakes his head. “I’m not envious of anything.”

“You envy Obi-Wan for being a full-fledged Knight and you’re jealous that this Quinlan Vos gets to spend time with Obi-Wan. I feel like you have Obi-Wan on the brain.”

Anakin shakes his head again. “Now why would I be thinking of him when I’m assigned to the most beautiful woman in the galaxy?”

—

Obi-Wan has to make one quick stop before going to Kamino. He has to, to ease his own mind as much as Anakin’s.

“I’m looking for Shmi Skywalker.”

The Toydarian looks up at him and tilts his head. “You are a Jedi, no?”

Obi-Wan has nothing for contempt for this slave-owning scum, but he’ll have to turn on the charm since mind tricks won’t work.

“I am a Jedi. I believe you met my Master, Qui-Gon Jinn, many years ago. I’m looking for Shmi Skywalker. I’m a friend of her son’s.”

“Oh, yeah. Shmi… she's not mine no more. I sold her.”

“Sold her?” It makes him feel ill. This is Anakin’s mother and she’s nothing but a piece of property to this slimebag.

“Years ago. You know, business is business. Sold her to a moisture farmer named Lars. Least I think it was Lars. Believe it or not, I heard he freed her and married her. Can ya beat that, eh?” Watto asks, laughing all the while, as if they’re not talking about a woman he once called a possession.

Do you know where they are?

“Long way from here. Someplace over on the other side of Mos Eisley, I think.”

Obi-Wan fixes him with a hard stare. “I'd like to know specifically.”

To his credit, the Toydarian seems to know he’s not kriffing around and offers to go look in his records.

It’s a lot easier once he has a destination.

—

After Padmé finishes telling Anakin about her first love, Palo, she looks to him.

“What about you? Surely some girl at the Temple has caught your eye. Have you ever been in love?”

Anakin furrows his brow and shakes his head. “No. The only people I’ve ever loved are my mother and Obi-Wan. I think the closest I’ve ever been to being  _ in  _ love was meeting a girl in Watto’s shop when I was nine. She looked like an Angel.”

Padmé smiles at him brightly. “I think I’ve heard something like that before.”

Anakin’s fairly certain that this is his first successful attempt at flirting with her. He’ll never be a smooth talker like Obi-Wan, but he’s trying, dammit. He’ll get it right eventually.

—

He can feel her in the Force. So much of her is in Anakin that she radiates that energy to which Obi-Wan is so finely attuned.

He knows which hut she is in and it’s easy enough to sneak in from behind, cutting a hole in the wall with his lightsaber.

There she is. Lashed to a wooden frame is his best friend’s mother.

She’s semi-conscious, her skin covered in dried blood and bruises. The brutes that took her are monsters, that much is clear. He got here in the nick of time. A stim will stabilize her for the journey back home and he has plenty of bacta in his ship for her injuries. The only difficulty will be getting her out safely. It was simple enough to sneak in by himself, but carrying a grievously injured woman isn’t going to be so easy.

He’s going to have to fight his way out. He’d hoped it wouldn’t come to this, but it must. After he injects the stim, he leaves her for the moment. It pains him to do so, but he can’t fight while carrying her.

Thankfully the children flee as he strikes through those standing guard. He couldn’t bear to kill children, even knowing what they will become.

He fights the adults until he stops being attacked. He loses count of the lives he’s taken, all the breaths he’s stolen with a stroke of his weapon.

Once the coast is clear, he returns to Shmi. He checks her pulse: thready but there. She’ll live.

—

It’s a good ten hours until Shmi awakes, covered in bacta patches and gel. She fixes Obi-Wan with a look that he recognizes from Anakin waking up prematurely and wondering which bed he’s in.

“It’s alright. You’re safe from those raiders,” he says, exiting his meditation pose. 

She looks him up and down, eyes locking on the weapon on his belt. “You’re a Jedi.”

“I believe you met my Master, Qui-Gon Jinn. I’m Obi-Wan Kenobi. Your son is my dearest friend. He had visions of you in peril and I… He doesn’t know I’m here. I was on my way out of the galaxy when I had this feeling in my gut that I needed to be elsewhere.”

“How is my Ani?”

“Oh, I don’t think he’s changed all that much from when he was a child. Stronger, competent with a lightsaber,  _ tall. _ Very tall. Dwarfs me in comparison.” She smiles and Obi-Wan remembers himself. “I’ll go get your husband.”

—

“Obi-Wan sent me the strangest message,” Anakin tells Padmé over breakfast. “He told me he’s seen my mother and she’s alright.”

“You’ve been having nightmares of her being in peril, right?”

“Every night for a month.” He has the tact not to mention that sleeping next to Obi-Wan isn’t even enough to quell them.

“Did you have one last night?”

He thinks and realizes that  _ no, he didn’t. _

“I know it’s a lot to ask, but can we go to Tatooine?”

“Whatever you need, Ani. I’ll go where you go, and not just because you’re supposed to be protecting me.”

—

His mother is scarred and still has bruises that have yet to fade, but she looks healthy. She looks  _ alive. _ That’s all that matters when Anakin embraces her, not even letting her register who he is first. Just a stranger wandering to her home and hugging her.

“Obi-Wan said you dwarf him in size, but I wasn’t expecting you to be  _ this _ tall,” she says.

She recognizes him.  _ She recognizes him. _

He’s never been happier and he’s never loved this much. Between his mother, Obi-Wan, and Padmé, Anakin has never loved and felt so loved.

“Mom, you remember Padmé,” he says.

“Of course I do,” she says with a smile. “Come on inside, I’ll introduce you to your family.”

Family? Watto hadn’t mentioned family, only that he sent a Jedi off in that direction already.

Turns out the family is a step-father, a step-brother, and the step-brother’s girlfriend. Cliegg, Owen, and Beru.

“This is my sweet Ani,” she says to them. “You finally get to meet him. This is Padmé, his… friend?”

“Friend, definitely,” Padmé confirms. That stings a little, but it’s not as if she can say ‘we kissed and decided not to fall in love.’ That would be just about the most awkward thing one could say when meeting Anakin's mother again after 10 years. “And I’m his charge. His mission from the Jedi Council is to be my bodyguard. There have been a few assassination attempts because of my opposition to creating an army.”

“She’s a senator,” Anakin supplies. “A really good one.”

“I thought you were a handmaiden,” his mother says as she pours them both some tea.

“She was in disguise. She was Queen Amidala all along,” Anakin says excitedly.

“We’re in the presence of a queen?” Beru asks with a soft smile. “How exciting.”

“Former queen,” Padmé corrects. “When my successor asked me to be a senator, I couldn’t refuse.”

“Not after she was so heroic and negotiated so well during the blockade of Naboo.”

“You’re too kind, Ani,” Padmé says, resting a delicate hand on his shoulder. “I had to do what was right for my people.”

Anakin savors the hand on his shoulder, likely the extent of the contact he’ll get following their awkward kiss.

—

“I was beginning to wonder if you'd got my message.” 

“I retransmitted it just as you had requested. Then we decided to come and rescue you,” Anakin offers, cheeks growing hot.

Obi-Wan looks up at the chains holding his wrists before looking at Anakin again. “Good job.”

Something is announced in that harsh Geonosian language, something that draws a roar from the crowd, something Anakin knows is bad, but isn’t sure what exactly. He winces. This is how he’s going to die.

Creatures that look like monsters out of Anakin’s worst nightmares spill forth into the arena, one for each of them.

“I have a bad feeling about this,” slips from his lips, a phrase he’s picked up from Obi-Wan over the years.

“Take the one on the left. I'll take the one on the right,” Obi-Wan tells him.

“What about Padmé?” Anakin asks worriedly. She’s not a Jedi. She’s not equipped for this.

But he whips around and sees that Padmé is pulling herself up the post by the chain binding her. Within a matter of moments, she is standing on it, trying to pull the chain free.

“It looks like she's already on top of things,” Obi-Wan quips. Always so quick-witted.

—

When Anakin’s eyes open, he sees Obi-Wan sitting beside him, Padmé on the other side.

He shuts his eyes again almost immediately, put off by the glaring light of fluorescent bulbs in the Halls of Healing. Ultimately he has to open them and deal with it.

He goes to take Padmé’s hand, only to find that he doesn’t have one.

“I’m so sorry,” Obi-Wan says apologetically. “I tried, but I failed you.”

“It’s… What happened?”

His memory feels fuzzy as he looks at the man beside him, apologizing profusely, tears glittering in his eyes.

“I’ll go get Healer Che,” Padmé says. Anakin doesn’t want her to leave, but she does. 

Obi-Wan takes Anakin’s single hand into both of his own. “Dooku took your arm and it’s my fault. I will never forgive myself. You are my dearest, truest,  _ best _ friend and I let you down.”

“It’s okay,” Anakin says in an attempt to make him stop crying, because now he’s crying in earnest. “You don’t have to be more upset at me losing an arm than me.”

One of Obi-Wan’s hands leaves Anakin’s so he can wipe his eyes with his sleeve.

“I’m sorry, Anakin. For everything. I should have pushed for them to let you join me in my investigation, but they wanted to send you on a solo mission. They wanted to see if you were ready to face your Trials yet. If my dueling a Sith Lord was enough to qualify as my Trials, I anticipate at least some of yours have been accomplished with this.”

“I hope so.”

“I am so, so sorry, my friend.”

“I forgive you, Obi-Wan. Stop crying before Padmé comes back with Healer Che. You’ll embarrass me. I can’t have it known I’m friends with the Order’s most emotional Jedi.”

Obi-Wan laughs through his tears, withdrawing his other hand from Anakin’s as well. He misses the warmth and the weight of Obi-Wan’s touch. 

Instead of Padmé and Healer Che, Masters Yoda and Windu come into the room. Obi-Wan’s back goes ramrod straight at the sight of his doddering old master, blinking away the last of his tears.

“Knight Kenobi, Padawan Skywalker, a surprise to find you together, it is not,” Yoda says. 

“As a Council, we decided that losing a limb to a Sith Lord is enough to replace several of your Trials,” his master says. “Consider it to be the same fast-track we put Kenobi on for slaying a Sith Lord at the age of twelve. It wasn’t a unanimous decision as it was for Obi-Wan here, but I pushed for it and eventually everyone agreed.”

“I’m being knighted?”

“Your final Trials will take place as soon as you return from Naboo.”

“Naboo?”

“Senator Amidala has requested you escort her home,” Obi-Wan informs him.

“A more effective prosthetic, the engineers on Naboo can provide.”

What a wonderful excuse to spend more time with the woman he loves and who loves him. He doesn’t want to leave Obi-Wan, though. They love each other too, though a lot differently. He  _ has _ to leave him behind. Can’t exactly bring him along to Naboo just because he misses him.

He has so much to talk to him about. About his mother and the fact that Obi-Wan deviated from his mission to save her, about Padmé and falling in love… He has to know everything.

“Once you return, we will discuss why exactly you weren’t on Naboo when Knight Kenobi contacted you,” Master Windu says, giving his apprentice a stern look. “We will need the full story from your point of view before we can graduate you.”

“Understood, Master.”

With a bow each, Masters Windu and Yoda make their way out of the room, only to be replaced by Padmé and Healer Che.

He won’t get to talk to Obi-Wan before he has to leave. Maybe it’s better. He’ll get a few extra weeks of Obi-Wan thinking he’s a good Jedi.

—

His new fist makes a loud  _ clang-clang-clang  _ as he knocks on Obi-Wan’s door. It seems he doesn’t quite need the same amount of force to knock as he did before.

The first thing Anakin notices when Obi-Wan opens the door is that he has grown a beard in the six weeks since they’ve seen each other. It looks good. Makes him look older, more sophisticated. Almost like a Master.

“Didn’t realize you were already back,” Obi-Wan remarks, stepping out of the way so Anakin can walk in.

“Already? Why, Master Obi-Wan, it’s been a month-and-a-half,” Anakin says as he makes his way to the couch.

“You only just commed me a few days ago to tell me you were headed to Coruscant. You made good time,” Obi-Wan replies, sitting down beside him. 

Anakin’s typical inclination is to cuddle Obi-Wan as soon as he sits down, but that feels almost a little wrong.

“I have a lot to talk to you about,” he says, reaching across his lap to take Obi-Wan’s hand with his organic one. “I don’t know where to begin.”

“Why were you on Tatooine instead of Naboo?” 

Anakin can tell that’s been on the tip of his tongue since they met in the arena on Geonosis.

“I know you told me she was safe, but I had to see for myself.”

“Is she?”

“All thanks to you,” Anakin says, embracing Obi-Wan tightly. “You saved my mother’s life at the risk of failing your mission.” He starts to weep, but gets embarrassed. Obi-Wan saved her so he has no reason to cry, does he? He buries his face against Obi-Wan’s shoulder, trying and failing at willing the tears to go away.

“Oh, dearest,” Obi-Wan murmurs, rubbing comforting circles into Anakin’s back, “it’s okay. Let it out. It’s a safe space here. I’ve got you.”

Honestly, he feels safer with Obi-Wan than anywhere else in the galaxy. There’s a reason he’s been climbing into his bed since he was ten and it’s not because he still thought space was too cold.

Nope. Stop. That’s wrong. Obi-Wan can’t be the most important person in his life anymore. That’s Padmé. His wife. The love of his life.

He doesn’t want to tell him. Selfishly, he doesn’t want to tell Obi-Wan about Padmé. He’s terrified it’ll change something between them. It’s ridiculous considering he and Obi-Wan aren’t romantic in the slightest, but their intimacy is deeper than the one he has with Padmé. What if Obi-Wan puts a stop to it?

He can’t  _ hide  _ something like this from him either. He has to hide it from everyone else, but he can’t hide such a huge part of himself from someone who has become such a huge part of himself.

“I’m married,” he manages between sobs.

“Very funny, Anakin, but joking around isn’t going to make me stop worrying about you. You’re a little emotionally compromised right now.”

“No, I’m… I’m actually married. Padmé and I got married before I left for Coruscant.”

Obi-Wan freezes, his hand stilling on Anakin’s back. “Are you serious? Anakin, that’s…”  _ Wonderful? I’m so happy for you?  _ “Anakin.” That scolding, tired tone is there.  _ No. _

“I’m in love.”

“And she knows you’ll be living a lie every single day?”

“Yes.”

“You’ll never have a normal marriage, Anakin. You’ll never live together, you’ll never have children, you’ll never actually  _ be  _ a married couple.”

Anakin starts to cry again. It’s hurtful that he’s being so negative, as correct as he is about everything.

“I do believe you once told me you wished to marry someone like her someday and I told you that was impossible because we are Jedi.”

“I know.”

“Does Master Windu know you’re home yet?”

“No.”

“Come to bed. You can tell him you got in early in the morning.”

He remembers just a week ago Padmé telling him to come to bed. Such a different connotation to the same words. He’s not sure which version he likes better.  _ Force help him, this is confusing. _

—

“You realize you’re going to have to tell Master Windu that the reason you were on Tatooine was an attachment to your mother,” Obi-Wan says as he pours Anakin a mug of caf.

“I know. I’m so scared though.”

“I’ll go with you if you’d like,” Obi-Wan offers as he hands him the mug. Their hands touch and Anakin very nearly drops the drink with the contact. What is  _ with  _ him right now?

“Maybe just wait outside.”

“Whatever you need from me.”

Something possessive rears its head in Anakin, saying  _ everything I need everything from you. _

_ YIKES. _ This really  _ is  _ bad. He can’t want so much of Obi-Wan knowing he doesn’t have much of himself to give anymore. He belongs to Padmé. His heart belongs to Padmé. And yet Obi-Wan has been such a huge part of him for half his life that losing him would be like losing his arm all over again. Obi-Wan is afraid of violating the Code following his temporary fall ten years ago, but he  _ loves  _ Anakin despite that. They are so attached that Anakin isn’t sure he’ll ever feel as comfortable as he does with Obi-Wan’s arms around him. How can he be loyal and true to his wife if he’s so bound to someone else?

“I don’t know if I want to tell him about Padmé. That seems private and, honestly, less of a big deal.”

“If that’s your prerogative, but it’s also a dangerous level of attachment, Anakin.”

“Do they know that you deviated from your own mission to take a detour to Tatooine?”

“I told Master Yoda. He has concerns about attachment.”

“I thought he didn’t know about me visiting her.”

“That’s not the attachment he’s concerned about,” Obi-Wan replies ruefully, placing his teacup upon the counter.

Oh.  _ Oh. _ “Obi-Wan—”

“Come now, finish your drink so we can get a move on.”

—

“You have caf on your shirt,” Master Windu says when Anakin walks in the door.

“I had breakfast at Obi-Wan’s. I got in early enough to go see him," he replies as he heads into the kitchen.

Technically not a lie. He just got in early enough to spend the night with him too. Master Windu seems to think so if the gentle probe in their connection over the Force means anything.

“Something is troubling you, Padawan," Master Windu remarks as Anakin dabs at the stain with a damp cloth.

Anakin sits down across the table from him and takes a deep breath. He feels Obi-Wan in the Force just down the hall and it calms him.

“I did something against the Code.”

“Elaborate,” Master Windu says, a neutral expression on his face.

“The reason I wasn’t on Naboo is because I was on Tatooine. Those visions of my mother got more and more intense and I couldn’t ignore them any longer. Obi-Wan saved her and he told me she was fine, but I had to know for myself. I know that attachment to my birth family is something I can be expelled from the Order for, but I didn’t want to lie about it.”

“Kenobi encouraged you.”

“Yeah,” he admits sheepishly. “Master Kenobi, always the voice of reason.”

“It’s news to me that Kenobi deviated from his own mission. He likely told his former Master and Master Yoda decided it was wise to keep it from the Council. Likely for this reason.”

“He shouldn’t get in trouble for it. He saved her life. He was downright heroic. He fought his way out so he could get her back safely. I don’t think I could have. I would have been thinking emotionally and let it get clouded and then I probably would’ve killed whoever I felt was responsible. The men, the women, the children. That’s wrong and the fact that my mind went there is wrong. Revenge isn’t the Jedi way.”

“You’re right. Revenge is not the Jedi way.” Master Windu clears his throat. “I struggle with darkness a lot myself and I have had a Padawan who has failed because of it.”

“I know.”

Master Windu is silent for a good while. Anakin feels nauseated with anticipation. There are so many ways this could go, almost all of them negative. This is terrifying.

Ultimately his Master says, “I will have to consult the Council, but it is not my wish to expel you for disobeying your order or due to your attachment to your mother. We will work on breaking that attachment, but for now…”

Anakin lets out a breath of relief. “Thank you, Master.”

“Do you feel strong enough to combat the darkness?”

With Obi-Wan so firmly in the light, he has to. “Yes, Master.”

“I know you’ve shown an interest in Vaapad. If you are genuine in your repentance, then perhaps it’s time I show you how to harness that darkness for good.”

—

“May the best man win,” Anakin says, extending his hand. Obi-Wan shakes it, and they share a moment of completeness before a shade draws shut, allowing for a fair fight.

“Three, two, one,” they count down together.

Immediately, their blades clash, pushing against one another. 

Obi-Wan ducks as he pulls back, but Anakin keeps attacking. Obi-Wan dodges and weaves until they cross blades once again. 

He pushes Anakin back with the Force, but Anakin leans into it, flipping and hitting the ground on both feet. He attacks fiercely, throwing himself head first into battle, swinging with ferocity and emotion.

He spins around, saber pointed downward, Obi-Wan leaping over the blade. Obi-Wan summons Master Windu’s lightsaber from his belt and fights with the Jar’Kai style, dual wielding.

They fight so hard and raw and Anakin feels like his head is spinning and his blood is up and something primal in him takes over and he needs to keep swinging, needs to win.

It’s at least sixty minutes and they’re still battling. He takes advantage of a moment of weakness, a split-second stumble, Force pushing Obi-Wan to the ground, foot on his chest, blade at his throat.

“The best man won,” he says, breath as steady and even as when they began.

Obi-Wan extinguishes the blades and allows Anakin to help him to his feet, a warm feeling running through Anakin as they touch hands, completeness again.

“I suppose the best man did win,” Obi-Wan concedes, crossing the room to return Master Windu’s weapon to him. “How about that? How is his form?”

“Impeccable,” Master Windu replies.

“Talented swordsmen, you both are,” Master Yoda comments. “Proud to call you my Padawan, I am, Obi-Wan.”

Obi-Wan gives him a slight bow and Anakin grins, clapping his best friend on the shoulder. “He’s so modest.”

Obi-Wan smiles back and Anakin feels warmth in the Force blanketing him. It feels right.


	8. The Padawan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin and Obi-Wan reach a custody agreement.

“Rex, you and your men follow me,” Anakin commands.

  
“Cody, battle positions!” Obi-Wan calls.  
  


War is hell. It’s been months and it just keeps getting harder and harder as they lose more Jedi and clones.  
  


Anakin has settled into a rhythm. He’s more often than not sent out on missions with Obi-Wan, much like it was during their Padawan days. This time, the aggressive negotiations aren’t just there in the back of their mind, but they’re their first and only option in a lot of cases.  
  


He loves getting to spend time with Obi-Wan. He wishes he could spend time with his wife, but she’s busy in the Senate and the Jedi are needed on the front lines. He loves the downtime on the ships, when he and Obi-Wan can just talk or play sabacc or spar or get much-needed rest.   
  


He’s almost embarrassed at the number of times Rex or Cody have found him curled up to Obi-Wan like they have since they were sleep-deprived Padawans. Looking back, maybe they should’ve stopped doing this a long time ago, but it’s necessary again to drown out the horrors of war and allow a decent night’s sleep.

  
Looking forward, it’s the battle. This is something he’s good at. He wasn’t great at meditation or studies, but he was always a natural at lightsaber combat. Anakin’s pretty sure the only people who could beat him are Obi-Wan or Master Yoda.  
  


They mow down a crop of droids as a ship approaches.  
  


“Looks like help has arrived. Our cruiser must be back,” Obi-Wan says.  
  


“Which means we'll be able to get our reinforcements,” Anakin adds, completing the thought.  
  


“Then it looks like our problems are solved. Fresh troops, new supplies, and perhaps they brought my new Padawan with them.”  
  


“You really think it's a good idea to bring a Padawan learner into all this?” Anakin asks, wrinkling his nose.  
  


“I spoke to Master Yoda about it. You should put in a request for one. You'd make a good teacher.”  
  


Anakin chuckles. “No, thanks.”  
  


“Anakin, teaching is a privilege. And it's part of a Jedi's responsibility to help train the next generation.”  
  


Anakin rolls his eyes. Of course he’d see it that way. “Remember that time when you said you’d be a bad teacher? Because  _ I  _ remember, Master Kenobi. Besides, a Padawan would just slow me down.”

  
As the ramp drops from the ship, they see a little Togruta girl standing there in lieu of supplies or reinforcements.  
  


Obi-Wan seems taken aback. “A youngling?”

  
“And who are you supposed to be?” Anakin asks, raising a brow.

  
“I'm Ahsoka. Master Yoda sent me. I was told to tell both of you that you must get back to the Jedi Temple immediately. There's an emergency,” she informs them.

  
“Well, I don't know if you've noticed, but we're in a bit of an emergency right here,” Anakin replies, gesturing to the chaos all around them, punctuated by a shout of pain from Kix’s direction.

  
“Yes, our communications have been a bit unreliable, but we've been calling for help,” Obi-Wan explains.

  
“Master Yoda hadn't heard from you so he sent me to deliver the message.”

  
“Oh, great. They don't even know we're in trouble,” Anakin says with an incredulous sigh.

  
“Maybe you can relay a signal through the cruiser that just dropped me off,” this girl, Ahsoka, suggests.

  
They do just that and it actually works. Anakin is a little annoyed that he didn’t think of it first. Okay, he’s a lot annoyed. Who the hell is this kid?

_  
“Master Kenobi, glad Ahsoka found you, I am.”  _

  
Anakin bristles at that form of address coming from anyone besides him.  _ Master _ . It’s an unspoken rule that nobody gets named a Master until they’ve successfully raised a Padawan. Perhaps it was a slip of the tongue or maybe they’re making an exception for the great Obi-Wan Kenobi. Of course, Anakin’s been jokingly calling him Master Kenobi for years, but this is different. It’s all about context.  
  


“Master Yoda, we are trapped here, and vastly outnumbered. We are in no position to go anywhere or do anything. Our support ships have all been destroyed,” Obi-Wan informs him.  
  


_ “Send reinforcements to you, we will.”  _ Yoda keeps on talking, but the connection goes fuzzy and breaks up.  
  


“Master Yoda? Master Yoda?”  
  


_ “We've lost the transmission, sir,” _ the clone communications officer tells them from above.  
  


Another comes rushing in, saying,  _ “We have to leave orbit immediately. More enemy ships have just arrived. We'll get back to you as soon as we can.”  
  
_

“Well, I guess we'll have to hold out a little longer,” Anakin says, noticing Obi-Wan’s expression falter for the slightest second. He hasn’t shown a millimeter of weakness since he fell apart holding his hand after their fight with Dooku, but this campaign on Christophsis has been long and arduous, especially in the aftermath of the betrayal by Slick, and is clearly taking its toll despite his complete unwillingness to show it.  
  


“My apologies, young one. It's time for a proper introduction,” Obi-Wan says.

  
“I'm the new Padawan learner. I'm Ahsoka Tano.”  
  


“I'm Obi-Wan Kenobi, your new Master.”

  
“I'm at your service, Master Kenobi. As it turns out, I've actually been assigned to you  _ and  _ Master Skywalker.”  
  


“What? No, no, no,” Anakin says, ducking behind Obi-Wan to distance himself from this child. “There must be some mistake.  _ He's _ the one who wanted the Padawan.”  
  


“No, Master Yoda was very specific. I'm assigned to both Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker, and they are to supervise my Jedi training together.”  
  


“But that doesn't make any sense!” Anakin says impetuously. “There’s  _ never  _ been a Padawan with more than one Master at the same time.”  
  


“We'll have to sort this out later,” Obi-Wan says, calming both Anakin and Ahsoka with his hands. “It won't be long before those droids figure out a way around our cannons.”  
  


“I'll check on Rex in the lookout post,” Anakin grumbles.  
  


“You'd better take her with you,” Obi-Wan tells him. He swears underneath that beard must be the most satisfied smirk on his face.  
  


_ Obi-Wan karking Kenobi. _

  
—  
  


“Obi-Wan, Master Yoda,” Anakin says as he and Ahsoka walk over to where they’re speaking.  
  


“Trouble, you have, with your new Padawan, I hear.”  
  


“I was explaining the situation to Master Yoda,” Obi-Wan adds.  
  


“Really?”  
  


“If not ready for a Padawan, you are, then perhaps, Obi-Wan, we can...  
  


“No, wait a minute. I admit Ahsoka is a little rough around the edges. But with a great deal of training, and patience, she might amount to something.”  
  


“High praise,” she says dryly. Great, she’s just another snarker like Obi-Wan.  _ Kill him now.  
  
_

“What Master Yoda was telling me is that we are both too young to have Padawans of our own as individuals, but we could divide time with young Ahsoka. She’d learn to be a well-rounded Jedi from me and she’d learn to be a mouthy duelist from you.”  
  


“Hey, that’s not something I want. Master Yoda, please. Don’t make me share a Padawan with him _.  _ I don’t want to have some awkward divorced parent custody share arrangement.”  
  


“Married, then divorced, are you?” Yoda asks with an amused laugh. 

  
“As if I’d ever marry  _ him. _ I would propose to Master Windu far sooner than I would his Padawan,” Obi-Wan says, one of his classic jests at Anakin’s expense.  
  


_ Didn’t say that when we were sharing a bunk last time we slept. What day was that anyway? They all run together...  _ Why is he upset? He’s already hiding one marriage from the Council, he doesn’t need one with Obi-Wan.  
  


“Then go with you, she will, to the Teth system.”  
  


“Teth? That's Wild Space. The droid army isn't even in that sector.”  
  


“Kidnapped, Jabba the Hutt's son has been.”

  
“You want  _ me _ to rescue Jabba's son?”  
  


“I know the reason for your hesitation, Anakin, but we'll need the Hutts' allegiance to give us an advantage over Dooku,” Obi-Wan says kindly, gingerly resting a hand upon Anakin’s upper arm. Obi-Wan knows he used to be a slave to a Hutt.  _ Of course _ he’s sympathetic. “I will undertake this mission myself if you find yourself unable.”  
  


“Negotiate the treaty with Jabba, you must, Obi-Wan. Find the renegades that hold Jabba's son, your mission will be, Skywalker.”  
  


Ahsoka is raring to go. “Come on, Master, it doesn't sound that hard. I'll find Rex and get the troops organized.”  
  


“You know, something makes me think this was your idea from the start,” Anakin says, placing his hand upon Obi-Wan’s on his shoulder for the briefest of moments.  
  


“Believe me, I would have never agreed to this if I knew,” Obi-Wan says, a coy and teasing grin on his face.  
  


He was definitely in on it. Anakin can tell from the twinkle in his eyes and the smirk under his beard.  
  


“You’re not charming your way out of this one, pal. I  _ will  _ be having words with you.”  
  


“Oh, I’m counting on it, Master Skywalker.”  
  


—  
  


“How’d you leave things with your girlfriend?” Anakin asks.  
  


Ahsoka looks between the two of them with wide eyes. “Girlfriend?”  
  


“Ventress is the opposite of my girlfriend, Anakin,” Obi-Wan says in that same old ‘tired of your schtick’ voice.  
  


“Then why are you two always flirting? Just get a room alre—”  
  


A flick of two fingers and Anakin’s knocked on his ass.  _ How dare he use the Force against me? _

  
“I guess you shouldn’t mouth off to my other Master, Skyguy,” Ahsoka says with a smug smile.  
  


“Speaking of ‘other Master,’ we should really talk about how we’re going to divvy up our new Padawan’s time. She spent this whole mission with me, so…” Anakin says, leaving a space for Obi-Wan to jump in.  
  


“Alright. Ahsoka, looks like you get a competent Master for a spell,” Obi-Wan quips.  
  


“Competent? I’ll show you competent, Obi-Wan kriffing Kenobi.”  
  


“Swearing in front of our Padawan? For shame, Anakin.”

  
Anakin rolls his eyes at the ridiculousness and exaggerated pompousness coming from his best friend. Of all the people in the galaxy, Anakin chose  _ him. _ What a mistake that was… No, it wasn’t a mistake. Not even jokingly. Anakin can’t imagine his life without Obi-Wan in it and he doesn’t care to ponder it.  
  


—  
  


“So, Master Kenobi, are you going to talk about your past or are you a closed book like Master Skywalker?”  
  


Obi-Wan frowns. Of course Anakin’s cagey about his past, especially considering what their last mission was.  
  


“There’s not much past to speak of. I was born on Stewjon and given to the Order at less than a year old.”  
  


“I’ve heard what they said about you at the Temple. You killed a Sith Lord when you were  _ twelve. _ ”  
  


“Right,” he says with a mirthless laugh. “That I did. My first Master, Master Qui-Gon Jinn, was killed and I slew his killer. Cut him in half and he tumbled down a reactor shaft.”  
  


“If anyone can take care of Count Dooku, it has to be you. If you’ve already got one Sith under your belt… But they say Anakin is the Chosen One who’ll bring balance to the Force. Maybe it’s both of you! You already do everything together, right? Well, not  _ now  _ because there’s a war and you’re both generals. You even have the same Padawan!”  
  


“He’s been my friend since not long after we met,” Obi-Wan tells her. “He wormed his way into my life,” and bed, “like some sort of parasitic creature. We’ve been best friends ever since he helped me get over a massive hurdle I’d been stymied by.”  
  


“Do you guys really have a Force connection? I heard Grand Master Yoda say you do. I thought that was just between Masters and Padawans.”  
  


“I am intimately familiar with the inside of Anakin’s brain,” he replies with a chuckle. 

  
“I hope to find my soulmate like that someday.”  
  


“Soulmate?”  
  


“Yeah. In my culture, everyone is considered to have a soulmate. It’s someone, either romantic or platonic, that you’re born to be with. It sounds like you and Master Skywalker have that relationship. Must make it hard with attachment being against the Code.”  
  


“It does,” Obi-Wan admits softly. He clears his throat and says, “We’ve talked about me. Let’s hear some more about you, Ahsoka.”  
  


She’s glad to change the subject and it makes Obi-Wan feel a lot better.    
  


_ There is no emotion, there is peace.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the comments and kudos and such! Helps me feel like I'm not shouting into a void lmao


	9. Bound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan gets shocking news, Anakin inadvertently makes a bad joke that ruins his mental health, and they end up bound to a Sith Lord.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker earns that tag and Obi-Wan Kenobi continues to Need A Hug.

“You were in there a long time. Getting formally rebuked for being the most insufferable Jedi in town?” Anakin teases, nudging Obi-Wan in the ribs with his elbow.

Obi-Wan is walking along like he’s unconscious, facial expression never changing, gait never faltering.

“You’re scaring me, bud,” Anakin says, putting a hand on Obi-Wan’s chest to stop him from trudging ever forward and spinning around to face him. “You’ve never looked so pale.”

“Anakin, I need to sit down. I don’t care where, but I need to sit.”

“Right. I can do that. Let me find something, somewhere… Oh, here,” he says, drawing his friend into an alcove. 

His back against the wall, Obi-Wan slides until he’s sitting on the cool marble floor. There is something seriously wrong with him right now.

“You’re scaring me,” Anakin repeats, crouching down beside his friend, his face and voice full of worry.

“They’re making me a Master and they’re putting me on the Council.”

_ Oh. _ Anakin imagines in another universe he’d feel resentful and angry about this, but in all honesty, he’s just proud of his friend. His best friend is a Master _?  _ On the Council? He must be the youngest Councilor in history!

“That’s amazing news!” Anakin exclaims, leaving a kiss on each of Obi-Wan’s cheeks and then his forehead. “I am so proud of you! I get to share a Padawan with a  _ Master _ . Why’d they waive the traditional, yet unspoken ‘successfully raise a Padawan or three’ rule for you?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t think to ask,” Obi-Wan admits, his voice filled with tears that have yet to fall. He’s actually upset about this.  _ He’s actually upset about this? _ “Anakin, I’m not ready for this responsibility. I only wanted a Padawan if I could share them with you.” Knew it. Called it. Bet the farm on it. That little scheme smelled of Obi-Wan from the start. “You know me, Anakin. You know I’m not fit for this.”

“No, I really don’t,” Anakin says, sitting down all the way because his muscles are starting to burn. “You’re the greatest Jedi I know. You have lived so much in such a small amount of time that it’s no wonder they’re putting you on the Council. You’re… You’re perfect, Obi-Wan.”

“Far from it.”

Anakin takes one of Obi-Wan’s hands into his organic hand. Obi-Wan’s is cold and clammy, but Anakin doesn’t let that deter him. He slides his fingers between Obi-Wan’s and gives it three squeezes.

“Y’know, my mom told me something when I was a kid. She said if you hold someone’s hand and squeeze it three times, that means ‘I love you’. One squeeze for each word. So she would do it to me a lot, just to remind me. It’s what she did when I left for Coruscant and what she did before I left to rescue you on Geonosis.”

“I already know you love me,” Obi-Wan reminds him.

“Well,  _ yeah, _ but… Obi-Wan, you’re perfect to me. My opinion is obviously the only one that matters, right?” he asks, hoping his joke will open up a bit of witty repartee, snap him out of it a little.

“Would that it were.”

“Well, obviously they think highly of you. Maybe not as highly as  _ I  _ think of you, but it’s well established that I’m biased. I think they know we’re going to turn Ahsoka into a great Jedi and  _ that’s  _ why they bestowed the Master title upon you so early. That’s gotta be it, right? Otherwise they’d be rewarding you for putting up with me during our Padawan years.”

“Could be both.” There’s that smile that Anakin loves so much. He’s snapped out of it, at least a little. “I feel like there is so much being put on my shoulders. I envy you, truly. You’re the Chosen One. They can’t take that from you. I just had the good fortune to kill a Sith and it’s been weighing on me ever since. I feel like I have this huge burden sitting on me because of it and I’m far too young for this. Anakin, I’m not old enough or smart enough or talented enough. I don’t  _ deserve  _ any of this.”

Okay, Anakin was only half-right. He snapped out of the catatonia, but is now in a downward spiral of anxiety and self-doubt.

“You deserve the stars.”

“Oh, Anakin,” he says, withdrawing his hand from Anakin’s, “I wish I shared your optimism.”

_ Why the kark won’t he just  _ believe _? _

“They wouldn’t have done it unless they thought you were remarkable. C’mon, let’s get you home and I’ll make you some tea and we can cuddle on the couch while we wait for Ahsoka to be done with her tracking training with Vos.” Anakin ponders the wiseness of that decision as he helps Obi-Wan to his feet. “Why did we leave her alone with him? He’s going to grill her for information on things to tease us about.”

“It was tracking with Vos today or something with Gallia tomorrow and we all know what the more conservative members of the Council think of our nontraditional arrangement.”

“Oh, us being a married couple raising a teenager? That’s something Master Windu is constantly scolding them about. Apparently it’s not too big of a deal to keep you off the Council.”

“Speaking of marriage, how is Padmé?” Obi-Wan asks in a hushed tone.

“She’s doing well. Very busy in the Senate. I’m not sure I agree with what she’s doing right now, but it’s her prerogative. She’s gotta do what she thinks is right.”

“And that is?”

Anakin sighs. “I know how you feel about him, but it’s about the Chancellor. She and Senators Organa and Mothma and Farr are working to take away some of his emergency powers. He’s in office past his term and it’s worrying to them.”

“I have to agree with Padmé.”

“Because you think he’s a creep?”

“Why was he so interested in a nine-year-old, Anakin?”

This is one of their classic arguments in which Obi-Wan refuses to concede in his wrongness. 

“Wouldn’t you be interested in a guy who is proclaimed to be a prophesized hero who’ll destroy the Sith and bring balance to the Force?”

“Why wouldn’t he be interested in the twelve-year-old who  _ actually _ destroyed a Sith?”

Anakin grows quiet and thinks. This is a new argument from Obi-Wan. “Because you were surly and unpleasant back then.”

Obi-Wan sighs this time, shaking his head. “I only speak up because I care. I don’t want to see you hurt.”

At least he’s forgotten his self-loathing and self-doubt. Of course, it comes at the expense of trash-talking Anakin’s friendly grandfatherly mentor, but that’s something he’s done for a decade. Falling back into old habits has brought some color back into his face. 

“I’m glad to have someone who cares enough to be concerned.”

“I’m also concerned about the sheer amount of emergency power he’s been granted. He’s in office far past his term’s end and soon he’ll have sway over the Jedi Council if politicians like Senator Amidala aren’t diligent in keeping him reined in. Not to mention he got this job by telling Padmé to call for a vote of no-confidence in Valorum, one of Naboo’s greatest supporters. Remember Palpatine was her mentor too and now she’s having to work against him.”

By the time they get to their door, Obi-Wan’s eyes are no longer hollow and his skin isn’t ghastly pale. As much as Obi-Wan says he’s not brave enough for politics, he has a million and two opinions about the Chancellor.

Despite the liveliness returning to his friend, Anakin makes good on his promise of tea. He even makes the special blend that Beru made him on Tatooine after he saved Anakin’s mother. The Larses often send care packages Obi-Wan and Anakin’s way and this was in one of the first ones. Despite an aversion to tea in general, Anakin even makes a cup for himself just to have a taste of his childhood home.

He also makes good on the promise of cuddling on the couch. Anakin turns on the holonet and strokes Obi-Wan’s hair comfortingly as their bodies press against one another and the Force flows freely between them. Neither of them really bother to keep up their shields around each other anymore. They don’t really have secrets.

Their bond existing before they formed a bond with their mutual Padawan was troubling for their Masters, but they ultimately decided that it made them stronger Jedi. Even when Obi-Wan was reprimanded from deviating from his mission, they didn’t force them to sever their attachment. It would have been too difficult, particularly with a war just beginning. Besides, it makes them nigh unstoppable on the battlefield together. They know each other’s every move before they make it and they make it work despite their wildly different styles.

“We discussed at length our attachment to one another as an obstacle to my being named a Master and Councilor,” Obi-Wan says, building off of the thoughts in Anakin’s head. “They’re splitting us up for the time being.”

“Oh,” Anakin says sadly. “Which one of us gets Ahsoka?”

“As of right now, I’ll be taking over her training for about a month. Then she’ll return to you for a month and so on and so forth.”

“Months? They’re splitting us up for  _ months? _ ” Anakin asks, absolutely heartbroken by the prospect.

“It’s just until the more conservative members are satisfied.”

Anakin nods and tries not to cry. He tries so hard. “Ki-Adi-Mundi can get kriffed.”

“Master Ki-Adi thinks we’re in love,” Obi-Wan tells him.

Anakin laughs because what the fuck else can he do with such hilarious information? “Are you serious?”

“As a heart attack. He objected to me joining the Council because I’m so clearly in love with you and it was a mistake for us to share a Padawan.”

“I mean, I love you, but…”

“I love you too, but…”

Then Anakin realizes what they’re doing. They’re  _ cuddling  _ because Obi-Wan was having a panic attack. Are they so in love that they’re blind to it? How long have they been in love? It feels like a whole hell of a long time if they don’t even notice it anymore.

What about Padmé? What about his  _ wife? _ If he’s so unconsciously in love with someone else, what does that say about their marriage? Is it all a sham?

Anakin is panicking.

For some reason, he thinks the best course of action seems to be crashing his lips against Obi-Wan’s. Oh shit. What is he doing?  _ WHAT IS HE DOING? _ This is… 

They’re both lost in it, Anakin especially. Obi-Wan is a really good kisser. His lips are soft and his tongue tastes like spicy tea and his fingers tangle in Anakin’s hair just to pull him closer. Then Obi-Wan seems to come to his senses and abruptly breaks things off, all but pushing Anakin away entirely.

“That is taking the joke a step too far. We’ve spent over a decade together and we’re a bit  _ too  _ comfortable. This is… It’s a good thing to send us off on our own for a bit.”

What the fuck?  _ What the fuck? _ Were they not in agreement that they  _ are  _ in love? Anakin realizes belatedly that this is, in fact, a joke. Obi-Wan’s not in love with him. Of course he’s not. He’s  _ Obi-Wan. _ He had that one-sided lovesickness for Siri and something with that Mandalorian woman he protected on that year-long solo mission years ago and an awkward drunken one-night-stand with Vos, but he’s not interested in this particular Jedi. At least not like that.

“I’m sorry. That was a bad joke.” He didn’t mean for it to be, but it is. It’s the way it has to be.

“I know you were only joking, Anakin, but it’s serious. We share quarters, we share a Padawan, you’re  _ married _ , must I keep going? You’re my best friend and I’d like to keep it that way. Kissing me isn’t funny. I’m not going to fuck you just to defy the Council.”

“Who said we’d be fucking?”

“I don’t know, Anakin! I need to go for a walk.”

“I was just  _ joking _ , Obi-Wan. I don’t want to jump your bones.” Right? Right… Right?

“Walk! I’m going on a walk!”

Well, he royally just karked things up. As Obi-Wan leaves, Anakin belatedly remembers he was supposed to have dinner with Padmé. Most definitely karked things up on multiple levels.

—

Anakin’s not sure where Obi-Wan went. He probably went to a bar on the lower levels. Or maybe… Vos is probably still with Ahsoka in the Archives, right? Obi-Wan can’t just go to Vos.

Who can Anakin go to about this? Padmé?  _ PADMÉ! _ He should go see Padmé. She always has an idea about everything.  _ Except _ part of this issue is because he kissed Obi-Wan because he thought they were in love, which is something he doesn’t feel like relaying to his wife of all people. He already commed her to tell her he’d be missing dinner, he can’t pile this on too.

He wishes Ahsoka were here. She would tease him about his stupid sense of humor and defend Obi-Wan’s point of view, but at least it’d be someone to talk to.

Oh,  _ Force,  _ does this mean he has to go talk to Master Windu about this?

Gonna drop by his quarters and say ‘ _ hey, remember how the Council told Obi-Wan we couldn’t be friends anymore? I kissed him.’ _

And yet his feet drag him there, slowly but surely until his Master is making him a midnight pot of caf.

“Take a seat, young Skywalker. What’s wrong?”

“I think I did the Council’s job for them. Alienated Obi-Wan all on my own,” he says, letting the mug warm his hands.

“What did you do?” he asks in a voice that knows all too well the shenanigans his former Padawan gets into.

“Can this be off the record?”

“Unless I have your consent, I never share what we discuss with anyone else,” Master Windu assures him.

“I might have, uh, kissed him a little bit.”

“You kissed him?”

“He told me that Master Ki-Adi-Mundi thinks we’re in love and I was surprised and for a second I thought it was true. I kissed him. More than a little bit. My tongue was definitely in his mouth for a few seconds there until he stopped it. The kiss, I mean, not my tongue. Well, he did stop my tongue in that we weren’t kissing anymore.”

He can tell Master Windu is struggling to suppress a laugh. He understands why it would seem funny to an outsider. It’s not funny to him, not thanks to the nauseatingly fast rush of emotions he’s been feeling since it happened.

His Master seems to sense that and clears his throat. “ _ Are _ you in love with him?”

“I don’t know,” he admits. He could’ve just said ‘no,’ but he’s making a point to not lie to his Master about anything. Well, other than his marriage. His voice is thick with unshed tears. “I don’t know anymore. I didn’t even consider it until he said Master Mundi thought so and now I’m… I’m stuck on it. I don’t know what to do or say or think.”

“Do you want to kiss him again?”

“I don’t know.” He has no idea what he wants and he has no idea how he feels. He feels guilty for kissing someone else while he should’ve been having dinner with his  _ wife. _ That’s the only feeling he knows concretely.

“I think it’s natural for you to have doubts about your commitment to the Order at your age. You and Kenobi are very close and it must make it easy to blur those lines between friendship and romance, but you must honor your decision to be a Jedi. You mustn’t let your attachment to him, dangerous as it already is, deepen in that fashion.”

“I know it’s dangerous and bad.”

“It’s dangerous, but it’s not bad. You make a very effective duo, even before the war started. It was against my advice that the decision to separate you was made.”

“Oh.”

“It was a majority decision, unfortunately. Master Yoda, myself, Master Fisto, and Master Plo were the ones to vote in favor of you staying in the same fleet. As much as we abstain from politics, Council decisions can get very political.”

“Thank you for, um, championing our cause, I guess.”

“All ten of us thought Ki-Adi’s remark was out of bounds. Seeing the pain you’re in confirms that our reaction was justified.”

“I wish Obi-Wan hadn’t brought it up at all,” Anakin says. “It would’ve saved me the worst headache of my life.”

“I’m sure pushing his morals like that is giving him an even worse headache.”

“Ugh.”

Master Windu pops off out of the kitchen for a moment and returns with a bottle of expensive Corellian whiskey. He unstoppers the bottle and pours a bit into Anakin’s mug of caf.

“Don’t say I never did anything for you, Padawan.”

Anakin smiles. He can’t imagine having anyone else as his Master. Master Windu is the closest thing he’ll ever have to a father and he’s lucky to have gotten a good one.

—

Obi-Wan is already in bed and asleep when Anakin gets back to their flat. He’s snoring in a little way that happens whenever he’s had too much to drink, which doesn’t happen that often. He’s going to hate getting up to ship out in the morning with a hangover.

He should do something to make it up to him, right? Definitely. Definitely has to make it up to him. This is  _ bad _ . This is a fight like they’ve never had before.

“I had to pour him into bed.”

Anakin jumps, not realizing in the dark that Ahsoka was standing in the hallway, looking at him watching Obi-Wan sleeping like some creep.

“He’s really  _ that _ drunk?”

“Did you seriously kiss him?” she probes.

Anakin groans and just about tears his hair out in frustration. She’s never going to let him live this down. “He told you?”

“If it’s any consolation, he definitely didn’t mean to. He’s just very,  _ very  _ drunk. Vos and I had to go pick him up at a shady bar on the lower levels. Luckily I was taking his boots off for him when he told me so rest assured that Vos doesn’t know. You are not going to be made fun of by Vos for your garbage sense of humor.”

“Sorry, Snips.”

“Don’t be. Just  _ maybe  _ don’t kiss him as a joke. Or at all. Definitely do not kiss my other Master ever again.”

“Bossy.”

“I learned from the bossiest.”

—

Anakin hopes, hopes,  _ hopes  _ that the breakfast and tea don’t come off as a grand romantic gesture. He put a lot of effort in — pancakes with wroshyr syrup and his favorite tea — but that doesn’t mean it’s going to come off like that, right?

“Figured since you were out drinking last night you could use some breakfast before you leave,” Anakin offers by way of an explanation.

“Thanks, Anakin,” he says in a tired voice that supports how reluctant he is to even show his face.

They eat in silence, Ahsoka included, until Anakin turns and says, “I’m sorry. It was a dumb joke and I shouldn’t have done it. I talked to Master Windu and he said it was wrong of me to push your morals.” ‘Even further’ is unspoken. With Ahsoka right there, he’s not going to mention how it’s draining to conceal his marriage to Padmé. 

“I forgive you, Anakin.”

Anakin breathes a massive sigh of relief. “Okay, good. I was worried that I’d have to find a new best friend. Was gonna ask you if Vos had any openings for one.”

“Aayla still holds that spot, I think.”

Anakin smiles at him. “I’m glad you decided to put up with me all those years ago.”

“It was more of a proximity thing.” Anakin feels a bit heartbroken until Obi-Wan smiles at him over the cup of tea.

“I deserved that one.”

“You’ll deserve the next five hundred.”

Anakin puts his arms around Obi-Wan in a hug and it feels like they’re one in the Force, a loving and intimate coalescence of their signatures between them. The hug feels even better than the kiss and for that Anakin is grateful.

—

Their separation doesn’t last longer than two weeks. It’s Master Windu’s proposal, backed by several other members of the Council. They work well together. They always have. They’re The Team. Capturing Dooku is a task for The Team.

Of course, in their typical fashion, they don’t capture him. They end up on Vanqor getting attacked by a gundark (Obi-Wan earns the save this time) and then they end up on Florrum getting drugged and tied to Dooku.

“Don't you think our priorities should be: escape first, eat second?”

“Do control your lover’s insolence so I can concentrate.”

“ _ Lover? _ ” Anakin asks, certain his eyes are bulging out of his head.

“Anakin.”

“What?”

“Control your insolence. The Count is concentrating.”

“You’re not my lover,” Anakin mumbles.  _ Even if I wanted you to be. _

Dooku knew just the thing to get under Anakin’s skin. How did he  _ know  _ it would get under his skin? The only people he confided in about the kiss were Master Windu, Ahsoka, and the Chancellor and he doesn’t really see any of them speaking to Count Dooku about  _ anything _ . 

He didn’t even tell Padmé. He  _ couldn’t  _ tell Padmé. He can just imagine the heartbroken look on her face as she says  _ Ani, how could you? _

No. Definitely isn’t telling Padmé any time soon. Or ever. It was a one-time thing. He’s not going to kiss Obi-Wan again. Nope. Especially not right now, bound to the leader of the Separatists, a vile man who they have to rely on if they plan to get out of this.

Obi-Wan tells him to relax through the Force, that Dooku is just trying to get a rise out of him. Dooku most definitely  _ is _ getting a rise out of him because he’s still a little confused following that kiss to the point that he actually maintains shields around Obi-Wan now.

But it doesn’t stop there. Once they’re returned to their cell, Dooku starts in, trying to sow his seeds of discord between the two Jedi.

“When I was with the Order, romantic relationships were strictly forbidden.”

“Still are,” Anakin replies.

“So the two of you are breaking the Code?”

“I’m not in love with Obi-Wan!”

“Of course you’re not. I suppose denial is a default reaction when defying the Council.”

_ Don’t let him rattle you _ , Obi-Wan advises through the Force.

Anakin is seething. He’s not entertained in the slightest being mocked by someone like Dooku. How can Obi-Wan just take this without getting the slightest bit frustrated? Of course, Obi-Wan is always serene and calm and Anakin is volatile and easy to set off. Obi-Wan used to be like that. Maybe Anakin will eventually get to calmness and serenity. 

This is the Force punishing him for the adulterous kiss. Anakin is sure of it. Why else would he end up tied to a Sith Lord and the guy confusing his heart? How else would said Sith Lord know to keep needling where he’s so sensitive? Dooku being too heavy is not the only reason Anakin tells Obi-Wan to drop him. He needs the incessant mockery to stop.

—

“Want to talk about it?” Obi-Wan asks, sitting down beside Anakin on  his their bunk.

Anakin shakes his head. “I’d rather not.”

“You wanted me to let him fall to his death,” Obi-Wan says, resting his hand on Anakin’s cheek, subtly moving his face so Obi-Wan can look him in the eyes.

“He wouldn’t stop pressing that button. It was giving me a stomachache.”

“A stomachache from the mere suggestion that we’re in love?”

“You remember what I did the last time it was suggested to me.”

“Ah, yes,” Obi-Wan says, bringing the recollection to his mind. “You’ve always been brash and impulsive. I don’t begrudge you your personality traits.”

Anakin feels himself blush. “I’m sorry for that. I really am.”

“It’s alright, my dearest. You don’t need to apologize any more than you already have.”

Anakin leans forward to rest his forehead against Obi-Wan’s. “Do I tell Padmé?”

“That’s up to you, Anakin. I can’t make that decision for you.”

He can be so infuriatingly diplomatic sometimes, but it really  _ is  _ Anakin’s decision.

He decides he can’t. He can’t risk losing either of them. If forced to choose, he’s not sure which one he would decide he can’t live without. 

The stomachache is nothing compared to the headache.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again thanks for the comments and kudos! Much love to all y'all ^_^


	10. Already Someone Else's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin has a rough couple of days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't like this chapter or how things shook out, but onward we must trod.

“Hey, I'm supposed to be on a meditative retreat. We should go away together. I know a place far away from here where no one would recognize us. Yeah, it'll be like we're actually husband and wife instead of senator and Jedi,” Anakin proposes, dangling a fun trip before his wife. Eat crow, Kenobi, they _can_ be husband and wife together. Not out in public, per se, but they can go somewhere that nobody knows them.

“I can't, Ani.”

“What do you mean, you can't? Oh, it's only two weeks. We'll be back before anyone even notices we're gone.”

He hadn’t expected her to turn the offer down. She’s previously expressed frustration that they don’t get to spend any time together so Anakin thought she’d be excited at the prospect of a getaway for a husband and wife.

“I have to bring this bill before the Senate. It's important.”

“Uh-huh. More important than the way you feel about me?”

Padmé sighs, very clearly at odds with him at the moment. “Not more important, but important. The work I do... The work we _both_ do is in service to the Republic, to protect those who would otherwise be powerless to protect themselves.”

“Of course, but those are ideals. Isn't our love more important to you?”

“But, I…”

“No! No ‘but’. To me, there's nothing more important than the way I feel about you. Nothing.”

He’s being unfair, he realizes, but he truly feels this way. He is very serious about this and she needs to know that.

“Anakin, don't be so…”

“Oh, you don't believe me.”

“I didn't say I…”

“I'll prove it. Just watch.” He pulls his weapon from his belt and presents it to her. “When I finished constructing my lightsaber, Master Windu said to me, ‘Anakin, this weapon is your life’. This weapon is my life.”

“No, Anakin, I can't. A Jedi lightsaber is…” she starts, but Anakin places the weapon in her hand, just to emphasize his point. “Wow, it's heavier than I thought.”

“It's yours. Believe me now?”

She sighs in exasperation. “If all you want to do is make fun of me, I think you should just go.”

“That's not what I want. Not at all,” Anakin says, leaning in and capturing her lips in a kiss.

Kissing Padmé always reminds him of the fragrance of the flowers in the lake country of Naboo and the beautiful pearls she wore on their wedding day. He loves her so dearly, but kissing her evokes something else in him now.

Nowadays he’s consumed with guilt at the memory of kissing Obi-Wan, at the memory of thinking he’s in love with someone else. He’s _still_ not sure whether he’s in love with Obi-Wan or not. That guilt _might_ have something to do with proposing a two-week sojourn from the problems of the galaxy.

She can never know about that brief moment of infidelity or the battle within his heart and mind that it triggered in him, a fight that persists months later.

She can never know.

—

“Ani, I think we need to have a serious talk.”

Anakin’s blood immediately runs cold. That’s not the voice of someone who wants to celebrate surviving a hostage crisis. That’s the voice of someone who has made a massive decision already and the decision isn’t to go on a two-week vacation.

“About what?” he asks, even though he already knows the answer.

“Us. Our marriage. Ani, this isn’t feasible. I felt offended when you told me what Obi-Wan said about it, but he was right. He was so right. We can’t do this anymore. I can’t live a lie anymore, Ani. I love you, but I can’t. Today just emphasized that for me.”

“What do you want? What are you saying?”

“I think we’d be better off as friends, Ani.”

“Did Obi-Wan tell you?” he asks, heart hollow and head not filtering his thoughts before they exit his mouth. Once he’s already said it, he realizes that Obi-Wan would _never._

“Did Obi-Wan tell me what?” she asks.

“Never mind. It’s… I kissed him a few months ago. I kissed him because I’m an idiot.”

Her expression is pure hurt, even more hurt than Anakin’s own face and heart. “I knew I’d never be able to compete with him,” she says sadly.

“Padmé, if anything, that confirmed that I love you and only you. I’d never been with anyone else but you and briefly kissing him confirmed that you are the only person I’m in love with.”

Or maybe not? He’s still so kriffing confused about it, but maybe saying it over and over will make it true.

“You’ve always been his,” she remarks. “Ani, I don’t know what to say. If you truly loved me, you wouldn’t have kissed him.”

“Padmé, that’s not fair.”

“We need some time apart.”

“More than we already are?”

“I think you know what I mean.”

“Doesn’t it matter that I love you?”

“I love you too, but this hurts, Ani. I can’t ask you to wait until I know if I’ll ever be ready to forgive you.”

“That’s a long winded way of saying you’ll never forgive me for this.”

“I was already ready to end things, Ani. This makes that decision that much easier.”

He’s crushed. Absolutely crushed. He wishes that rock fall had killed _him_ instead of the gundark.

—

Obi-Wan is dressed to go out and he looks objectively good. In lieu of his millions of Jedi robes and tunics, he’s wearing a slim white shirt, form-fitting black pants, and a pair of soft black leather boots. His hair is slicked back and his beard is impeccably trimmed and shaped. For real, objectively hot as hell.

He’s going out with Vos, Cody, Rex, and a few others from the 212th and 501st to a bar on the lower levels. Anakin would have accepted the invitation to join them, but he had plans with Padmé that don’t exist anymore and Obi-Wan doesn’t know that they’re not together anymore.

On the other hand, he’s also never seen Obi-Wan with liquor in his hand, flirting up a storm. He’s seen him flirt up a storm, but that was mostly with Ventress or random senators that need charming. They’ve only had drinks alone together in their quarters or on a ship in cold, dark space. Last minute, he accepts the invitation. Getting drunk to forget his recent divorce before his two week meditation retreat sounds like a good idea.

—

“And he fell into a nest of gundarks!” Anakin says with a laugh, one hand gripping a drink, the other resting on Obi-Wan’s knee.

“I may have fallen into a nest of gundarks, but _you_ fell into a habitat for amorous worms.”

Anakin blushes, both from the drink and from Obi-Wan’s embarrassing story.

When Obi-Wan grins at the woman who asked for Jedi stories and leans over to whisper something to her, Anakin’s fingers dig into Obi-Wan’s knee before realizing that he seems a little too upset that his best friend is being flirtatious. He’s _going_ to remove his hand, but his arm betrays him and his hand moves from his knee to his inner thigh. _WHAT?_

As Anakin gets more and more drunk, he leans on his friend, inadvertently cock-blocking him by forcing him to take care of the amorous worm Anakin has become.

There comes a point where Anakin is halfway in Obi-Wan’s lap, their friends flung off in every direction, running his fingers through his auburn hair, working against the hair products in it. “I’m mad at you.”

“What are you mad about this time? Did I elbow you in the eye in my sleep again?”

“Kissing you ruined things with Padmé.”

Obi-Wan frowns. “Oh, Anakin, I’m so sorry. Is there no hope of reconciliation?”

“She already wanted to just be friends. Finding out I kissed you was the final nail in the coffin.”

“I wish there was something I could say that would make this better.”

“You could kiss me,” Anakin says.

“Didn’t we agree that would never happen again?”

“No, you just left and got drunk. Kind of drunk like we are now.”

“I’m buzzed. _You_ are drunk.”

“I love you, Obi-Wan.”

“I love you too, Anakin. For all that you are.” He clears his throat as Anakin tries to kiss him. “I’m calling Ahsoka to pick us all up. You’re sitting between Jesse and Cody on the way back.”

Anakin frowns. He had hoped a kiss would distract him from the pain, but the rejection is just causing more pain. Kriffing Obi-Wan…

—

Anakin is hungover and wakes up to an empty bed and the smell of tea and caf and breakfast wafting in.

He rubs his bleary eyes as he makes his way out to the kitchen. Ahsoka is sitting at the kitchen bar and devouring whatever it is that Obi-Wan has cooked.

“You were tanked last night,” she accuses, pointing at Anakin with her fork.

“Shh, he’s hungover. He doesn’t need us to mock him for his intoxicated antics.”

“You wouldn’t stop touching Master Obi-Wan’s beard. Apparently you think it’s ticklish, yet softer than a tooka.”

“You are a very affectionate drunk,” Obi-Wan says goodnaturedly.

Oh shit. He asked Obi-Wan to kiss him last night.

“Better than an angry drunk,” Ahsoka points out.

“Yes, Rex and Hardcase had to separate you from an angry drunk last night. He wanted to fight me for allegedly flirting with his girlfriend and you were quick to defend me.”

“You probably _were_ flirting with his girlfriend. You’re flirty when you’re sober. I’ve seen you duel Ventress,” Ahsoka says with a smirk. “I bet you even flirt with Grievous.”

“I bet he does. I bet he says, ‘Oh, my loins ache for you and your phlegmatic cough and cold, harsh droid hands. Make me yours, General Grievous,’” Anakin teases, throwing himself over Obi-Wan’s shoulders from behind.

“You’re right. Nothing is a bigger turn-on than being a Sith acolyte,” Obi-Wan says dryly. “Young one, don’t you have meditations with Master Windu to attend? You sure seem to be spending a lot of time teasing your old Master.”

“Old? You’re twenty-three,” Anakin reminds him, poking him in the cheek.

Obi-Wan turns and scolds him next. “Go take a shower and brush your teeth. Alcohol is seeping out of your pores.”

“You’re no fun at all.”

—

“Where are you going for your meditative retreat?” Obi-Wan asks once Anakin is clean and feeling less hungover thanks to puking in the shower.

“Thinking of going to Tatooine.”

“Say hello to your mother for me.”

“Excuse you, Kenobi, I’m going to Tatooine for no other reason than to meditate surrounded by my favorite thing in the galaxy: sand.”

They share a laugh and it feels good. It feels less like Anakin tried to solicit a kiss from him less than twelve hours ago.

—

He’s glad to see his mother and step-family. This is less of a meditative retreat and more of a homecoming, but it’s calming all the same.

“How is Obi-Wan?” Owen asks kindly. “In his last message, he said he’s on the Jedi Council now. That seems exciting.”

“To hear him tell it, it’s boring. I think he exaggerates. He’s been put in charge of a lot of military operations because he’s actually out in the thick of it unlike a lot of the Council.”

“Where is the rest of the Council if not at war?” Cliegg wonders.

“Master Shaak Ti is on Kamino where the clones are produced, but a lot of them stick to Coruscant whenever possible to keep an eye on the political side of the war because they don’t trust politicians. Obi-Wan commands our whole fleet and Master Plo Koon has his own squadron of fighter pilots called the Wolf Pack. They’re always out in the middle of things. Other Councilors are deployed as needed, but there is a lot of delegation that happens.”

“I never thought my boy would be fighting in a war.”

“Neither did I. Jedi are meant to be peacekeepers. I thought the most action I’d see is bodyguarding or an aggressive negotiation.”

His mother looks at him and smiles. “Speaking of bodyguarding, how is Padmé?”

“She’s good. We’re getting divorced, but she’s good.”

“Oh, my Ani, why?”

“The stress of hiding it was getting to be too much for her. Doesn’t help that I kissed Obi-Wan. It was a joke, but I told her and she said it made her decision easier.”

The look on his mother’s face speaks that she doesn’t _quite_ believe him, but will drop it until they’re alone. He thanks the Force for that.

—

“I don’t think your kiss with Obi-Wan was quite the joke you’re playing it off as.”

Anakin nods, accepting the mug of tea she brings him. “Well, it…” This tea is exactly what his tongue tasted like. “No, it wasn’t a joke. He thought it was a joke. An unfunny joke, but a joke.”

“What made you kiss him, Ani?”

He sighs and shakes his head. “He said one of the councilors suggested that we were in love and my dumb ass thought it might be true and I kissed him to test my theory. If I’m being honest, I’m still not sure if I’m in love with him. He’s my best friend and I love him, but am I _in_ love? I don’t know. Even if I _am_ in love, he’s obviously not in love with me. He loves me, just not like that.”

“And that hurts. Even if you’re unsure of your own feelings, the idea that he could never reciprocate is painful.”

He nods. He’s so lucky to have so many people to talk this out with, each with their own perspective. Were things different, Padmé would have great insight. Maybe she will given time…

“I’m pretty sure I’m not, but the rejection still stings.”

“Until you’re sure, savor what you have.”

He nods as his mother takes him into her arms. He’s not the little boy he was when she would hold him at night. It’s unfamiliar and familiar at the same time and it’s a comfort as he processes these confusing waters.

Anakin needs to get his shit together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Padmé is not gone! She will return soon. I just didn't want things to stretch into season 2 and get sketchy jealous Anakin with Rush Clovis. I don't like sketchy jealous Anakin.


	11. A Bad Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan fights with an old flame, Anakin feels defensive, Padmé has the patience of a saint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote part of this as I was writing the first few chapters which is why it's going up so soon after chapter 10. I'm also just really bored in between classes.

“Reporting for escort duty, General,” Anakin says, giving a mocking salute.

“Oh. Anakin, am I glad to see you.” He would go for an exhausted embrace if they weren’t in plain sight. He needs a hug.

Anakin chuckles at him. “You sound tired.”

“The peaceful ways of the locals wore me out a bit.”

Anakin smirks, but doesn’t press. Thank the Force for that. 

—

Obi-Wan is glad to be alone in the elevator with just Anakin, Cody, and Rex. He doesn’t have to keep up a brave face for them. He’s lost count of the times either of their right-hand men have found him and Anakin seeking comfort from one another through hugging or holding hands or sharing a bunk. 

“I sense some anxiety from you about the Duchess. She couldn't be in safer hands,” Anakin offers.

“Yes, I know. And yes, I know you are referring to yourself.”

Anakin grins, then turns back to grilling him. “Then why…”

“Never mind. It's all in the past.”

“Oh, so _she_ was the extended bodyguard mission?” Anakin sounds smug for figuring it out. “You know her.”

“I  _ knew _ her. A long time ago.”

“I mean, not  _ that  _ long ago. I think you were eighteen when Master Yoda let you go out on your own for that mission and it ended up being a year where I didn’t see you.”

“Yes, well… Five years changes a lot.”

“You never really talk about it apart from me figuring out you fell in love with your charge.”

“Well, I wouldn’t be the first. Or the last.”

Anakin pales and maybe it was a low blow, but it gets him to shut up.

—

“War is intolerable! We have been deceived into thinking that we must be a part of it. I say the moment we committed to fighting, we already lost,” Satine declares. 

Anakin has to suppress an eyeroll. She wasn’t in the arena at Geonosis, she doesn’t get an opinion on whether or not the fighting was necessary. He and Padmé and Obi-Wan would have  _ died _ .

“Excuse me, Your Grace, are you suggesting we oppose the war on humanitarian grounds?” Senator Tal Merrik asks.

“I'm going to oppose it as an affront to life itself. As the designated regent of 1,500 systems, I speak for thousands of worlds that have urged me to allow them to stay neutral in this war.”

She’s just lucky the war hasn’t shown up on her doorstep. She wasn’t there when he and Aayla had to lead a fight on behalf of a colony of pacifists who would have all been slaughtered without their help.

“And yet some might argue that the strongest defense is a swift and decisive offense.”  _ Yes _ , Obi-Wan. You beautiful genius.

“You are quite the general now, aren't you, Master Kenobi?”

“Forgive me for interrupting, Your Highness, I meant no disrespect.”

“Really? Senators, I presume you are acquainted with the collection of half-truth and hyperbole known as Obi-Wan Kenobi?”

Oh hell no. She can’t get away with that sort of disrespect. Obi-Wan is honest to a fault and rarely exaggerates. She doesn’t know him at all. A year is nothing compared to more than a decade.

“Your Highness is too kind,” Obi-Wan says, a hand holding Anakin back by resting on his ribs. It’s a simple touch, but it feels heavy and grounding, likely its intended effect.

“You're right. I am,” she replies.

“Allow me to introduce my fellow Jedi, Anakin Skywalker,” Obi-Wan says, removing his hand so he can gesture at him.

“Your servant, my lady,” Anakin says through gritted teeth, taking a step forward.

“I remember a time when Jedi were not generals, but peacekeepers,” Satine remarks.

“We are protectors, Highness. Yours at the moment. We fight for peace,” he says, looking at her through narrowed eyes.

“What an amusing contradiction.”

“What Master Skywalker means is that we are acting at the behest of Your Highness to protect you from the Death Watch and the Separatists, who don't share your neutral point of view,” Obi-Wan says, rephrasing and giving context. Kark, to see him put on the Negotiator face and voice could make the weak-kneed swoon.

“I asked for no such thing.”

“That may be so, but a majority of your court did.”

“I do not remember you as one to hide behind excuses,” she accuses.

“I do not remember you as one to shrink from responsibilities,” he retorts.

“I am certain we all agree Duchess Satine and General Kenobi have proven there are two sides to every dilemma,” Senator Orn Free Taa says diplomatically. Such a politician.

“Indeed,” Merrik agrees.

“Now, in regard to the Senate vote, we think—” Orn Free Taa begins before he’s cut off.

“I think a multitude makes discord, not good council,” Satine cuts in.

“Right again, my lady—”

“There may be two sides to every dilemma, but the Duchess only favors hers,” Obi-Wan remarks softly to Anakin.

Satine goes off on a tangent again and Anakin grabs a drink off a tray, needing something to keep his hands busy. They’re back at it again by the time he looks up.

“A Republic military presence is the only sure defense against the Separatists,” Obi-Wan insists.

“Even extremists can be reasoned with,” Satine counters.

“Perhaps, if one can be heard over the clanking of their battle droids.”

“The sarcasm of a soldier.”

“The delusion of a dreamer.”

“Duchess, Master Jedi, it's been a long trip,” Tal Merrik says. “I think we could all use a little rest and refreshment.”

“Hear, hear. Now let us put politics aside until after dinner,” Orn Free Taa agrees.

“FINE!” they shout in unison before Satine shoves Obi-Wan out of the way.

Anakin quickly downs his drink before following Obi-Wan out of the room.

—

“You have to spill,” Anakin insists. “You and Satine have a history. Tell me  _ all  _ about that extended mission you’re so tight-lipped about.”

“I spent a year protecting the Duchess from insurgents who had threatened her world. They sent bounty hunters after us. We were always on the run, living hand to mouth, never sure what the next day would bring.”

“Sounds romantic,” Anakin says, absolutely genuinely. There was a similar plotline on one of his favorite trashy holodramas. Obi-Wan gives him an incredulous look.

“A civil war killed most of Satine's people, hence her aversion to violence. When she returned,

she took on the difficult task of rebuilding her world alone,” Obi-Wan recounts.

“You didn't stay to help her?”

“That would have been problematic. My duty as a Jedi demanded I be elsewhere.”

“Demanded? But it's obvious you had feelings for her. Surely that would affect your decision,” Anakin says, perhaps projecting a bit too much.

“Oh, it did. I live by the Jedi Code.”

“Of course. Your Master always says, ‘Form attachments, a Jedi mustn’t,’” Anakin says in his best approximation of Grand Master Yoda. Occasionally it’s said in reference to Obi-Wan and Anakin themselves, but he leaves that out.

“Yes. But he usually leaves out the undercurrent of remorse.”

Anakin waits a beat before asking, “Do you feel remorse about me?”

“How could I ever?”

“Do you think less of me for making the decision you didn’t? I mean, choosing love over the Code.”

“It never crossed my mind.”

Anakin looks at him, looks at the worry on his face. He’s struggling. Anakin doesn’t know what to do about it but hug him. He pulls away and looks straight into those blue-gray eyes and it feels like time stops. Then it starts again and Anakin’s mouth is on Obi-Wan’s in a flash.

Anakin braces himself for Obi-Wan to break the kiss just like the last time, but he doesn’t. He kisses Obi-Wan and Obi-Wan kisses him back thoroughly. Anakin’s head spins as Obi-Wan nips at his lower lip. He tries his hardest not to spook his partner by getting too enthusiastic.

They kiss for a good long while, at least a minute, long enough for their tongues to tangle together and Anakin’s hands to gather in the back of Obi-Wan’s shirt. He’s terrified that at any moment, Obi-Wan will stop and play it off as another joke. The way he kisses back isn’t a joking matter. But eventually he breaks the kiss. When he does, he does because the comm on his arm goes off. He clears his throat before answering, “Yes, Captain?”

Holy shit.  _ What  _ just happened?

—

“You would have left the Order if she said the word, huh?”

“Anakin, I didn’t mean for you to hear that.”

“Do you think less of me for not just packing up and leaving with Padmé?”

“Anakin, stop asking that. I will never think less of you for anything.”

“Even for kissing you?”

“For that I think of you more and more,” he confesses.

_ Oh. Oh! _ “Is that a bad thing?”

“Yes.”

_ Oh no _ . Anakin has made a fool of himself. Obi-Wan didn’t mean it in the way he thought. No, Obi-Wan would never mean it like that, of course not. Obi-Wan kissed him back, but of course he thinks it’s too much. He has a duty as a Jedi and that duty isn’t compatible with romance and kissing your best friend.

“Would you leave the Order if I asked you to leave with me?” Anakin asks, his heart racing as he says the words.

Obi-Wan takes Anakin’s face between both of his hands. He makes Anakin look directly at him as he says, “If you left, I would go with you. Even if you didn’t ask.” Obi-Wan leaves a kiss on his forehead, soft and fleeting.

“Let’s go to bed,” Anakin says before he can put another foot in his mouth, all the while his heart fluttering.

—

“You see? I was right before. Counting on the Republic is a mistake.”

Satine’s rapid departure leaves Padmé and Obi-Wan looking at one another, unsure of what to say.

“Death Watch is a serious threat. I’ve seen it myself,” Obi-Wan tells her.

“I understand. I respect her decision to stay neutral and it’s a shame that Death Watch is forcing the Republic to step in like this,” Padmé says, a hand on Obi-Wan’s mid-back directing him to her office.

“She can be a bit blinded by her ideals,” he says wistfully. “I wish things weren’t this way.”

Once they’re in Padmé’s office and the door clicks shut behind them, Padmé sits down on the edge of her desk, gesturing for Obi-Wan to sit.

“How’s Ani?” she asks. “I heard from a friend that he went to Mandalore with you.”

“Oh, not  _ with  _ me. He came to help escort Satine here. I had arrived earlier.”

“Still, you’ve seen him more recently than I have. How is he?”

“Completely unfazed at having to kill a man to save a shipful of people. He thinks if he doesn’t acknowledge his actions, he won’t need a mind healer. Of course, it’s just going to bubble over eventually and he’ll fall.”

“To the dark side?”

“To depression.”

“He’ll be lucky to have his best friend ready and willing to catch him. I doubt he’d care if  _ I _ reached out.”

“Padmé, he still loves you. That’s what’s made it so hard for him to cope with that particular hurt. He’s as in love with you as he was the day you walked into Watto’s shop. He tries to hide it from me, but he’s not very good at maintaining mental shields with me. He tries, but fails and I don’t want to overstep my bounds by inserting myself into the dispute between the two of you.”

“I don’t think he realizes how much he hurt me.”

“He does. He told me I’m what ruined things. Well, he didn’t say  _ that _ . He was very drunk at the time. He said he was mad at me because part of the reason you ended things was our kiss.”

“It was the thing that solidified my decision, but it wasn’t the driving factor to suggest a separation,” she says sadly. “You say ‘our’ kiss. He seemed to imply it was  _ his _ mistake.”

“He was joking around,” Obi-Wan says, not wanting to absolve himself of any blame, “and I shouldn’t have let it last for longer than a second.”

“How long did it last?” she asks.

“ _ Several _ seconds. He charged full speed ahead and got his tongue in my mouth before I could even tell what was happening.”

Padmé snorts in amusement. “Our first kiss wasn’t great either. I promise you, it’ll get better.”

He grimaces. “It can’t. Once was too many times.” Twice was  _ far  _ too many times. He’s still kicking himself for kissing back. That was a massive mistake.

“Don’t you love him?” Force, that’s a loaded question if he’s ever heard one.

“I do, but I don’t think it’s the way he wants me to.”

Padmé frowns. “Do you think he and I should reconcile?”

“I think it would be good for him in the short-term, but I stand by what I’ve said. Living a lie must not have felt good. I can’t imagine you wouldn’t break up all over again eventually under the stress. Besides, my not having romantic inclinations toward him doesn’t negate the fact that he was married and kissed someone else.”

“I think you’re the only one I’d ever have to worry about on that note,” she comments. “He’s got a big heart, but only a few people he actually wants to share it with. Take care of him.”

—

“She calls you Obi. I’ve never heard anyone call you that.”

“Padmé calls you Ani. She and your mother are the only ones who call you that.”

“You can call me Ani if you want, though I wouldn’t trade that exhausted, exasperated way you say my name for anything.”

“Oh, Anakin,” Obi-Wan says, resting his hand on Anakin’s shoulder, “I hope I don’t sound tired or annoyed when I say your name.”

“No, never,” Anakin assures him. “I mean, it started out that way. You were grumpy and hated me a little bit and it sort of stuck. I know now. I know that you aren’t upset with me, but it’s a, uh… what’s the word… Vestige! It’s a vestige of that time when you hated me.”

“I never hated you. I found you irritating and frustrating, but I never hated you. You looked at me as if I was some beacon of light, but I was an angry kid and the loss of my Master amplified those emotions. I ended up taking my frustrations out on someone whose only crime was trying to care about me.”

Anakin places his hand on his friend’s chest, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt. “Obi-Wan—”

“You thought I hated you, but you’re the first person I ever loved.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Padmé and Obi-Wan are the co-directors of the friends of Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker support group. Meetings are on Thursdays. Snacks are provided.


	12. Beware Your Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin has three conversations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short one between final exams
> 
> TW for mild homophobia (which has probably led to internalized homophobia)

_ Beware your heart. _

The words of the Father echo around in Anakin’s head. It means something. Padmé? In marriage, he gave her his heart, but she gave it back. He loves his mother with all his heart. He keeps Ahsoka close to his heart. And Obi-Wan…

He can’t tear his eyes away from Obi-Wan, for as soon as he heard the words, that is where he looked. That dry wit, the smooth Coruscanti accent, the way he flirts with anything that moves, the way he so effortlessly banters with anyone and everyone, the kindness he has for Ahsoka, the protective streak he has over both her  _ and  _ Anakin. He has never felt closer to another person than he does to Obi-Wan. He loves him so much it hurts sometimes. 

“What?” Obi-Wan asks.

_ Oh shit. He’s still staring, isn’t he? _

“Nothing,” he says, flushing red, sinking down in his seat to avoid Obi-Wan’s scrutinizing gaze.

—

“Troubled, you are, young Skywalker?”

Anakin finally looks down and realizes that the tapping he’s been hearing is Yoda’s gimer stick. Oops.

“Yeah, a little,” he admits. 

He doesn’t admit that he’s been walking a circuit around the temple to avoid going to the quarters he shares with Obi-Wan. The look of betrayal in Obi-Wan’s eyes as he stranded him inside a volcano isn’t something he’s sure he can forgive himself for. Anakin can’t go back knowing he needs to beware his heart when Obi-Wan  _ is  _ his heart. He can’t go home and he can’t go anywhere else, so he’s getting some exercise in.

“Drag it out of you, do I?”

“So, we’re supposed to love unconditionally, right? Love everyone, even our enemies?”

“Empathetic to all, we must be.”

“What if I loved one person more than everyone else?”

“Thinking of your mother, are you?”

“No. I was actually thinking of my partner.”

Yoda chuckles. “Think of my Padawan as an object of affection, do you?”

“Well, yeah,” he admits with a blush. “We’ve been each other’s closest friend for over a decade. He and I have a kid together even.”

“Your child, your Padawan is not. Responsible for her, you are, but her father, you are not.”

“Well, I  _ know _ that. I’m just saying that we have almost a familial unit. Obi-Wan and I are the first people to ever have the same Padawan concurrently and Ahsoka is taking the best from both of us. Is it so bad if I love them more than I love others?”

“Risk your life to save them, you would?”

“I have before and I will again without a second thought.”

“Sacrificing yourself for your fellow Jedi? To be on your team, other Jedi would be lucky.”

“Is it wrong of me to feel so close to Obi-Wan?” he asks, bringing it back to his singular intense love.

“Why you share your Padawan, it is.”

“And love? Is it wrong for me to love him?”

“The pair of you do, we all know.” That’s only slightly humiliating to hear. “Ideal, it is not. Fall to the dark side, would you, without him?”

He briefly fell on Mortis and seeing the horrified look on Obi-Wan’s face as he looked into his yellow eyes is going to ruin him if he dwells on it.

“No. With or without him, I don’t want to be someone he wouldn’t love.”

“Acceptable, it must be, then.”

He doesn’t need to beware his heart if the person who holds it is going to keep him in the light no matter what. “Thanks, Grand Master. This has been a big help.”

“Of service, I am glad to be, young Skywalker.”

—

Anakin finds Obi-Wan in their kitchen, brewing a cup of tea as he can normally be found doing when they’re home.

Without a single word, he pulls him away from the counter to hold him close.

“Anakin, what are you doing?”

“Letting you know how much I care about you.”

“Yes, Anakin, I care about you too. My tea is going to get cold if you don’t let go of me.”

“Cold tea can still be good.”

Obi-Wan sighs and lets Anakin hold him for as long as he wants. “The things I put up with for you.”

Anakin swallows hard. He  _ does  _ put up with a lot. He puts up with so much… He puts up with all of the awkward kisses and the years of cuddling and all the nonsense Anakin and Ahsoka put him through. He saved Anakin’s mom’s life. Ever since they met on that Nubian ship on Tatooine, Anakin has taken so much from him and Obi-Wan has given so much of himself. He’s  _ perfect _ .

“I love you,” Anakin says. Their bond in the Force pulses and warms.

“I love you too, Anakin.”

“The look in your eyes when I succumbed to the dark has haunted me.”

“Yellow eyes clashed with the gold undertones in your skin,” Obi-Wan says as a deflection.

“Obi-Wan, I’m not asking for your forgiveness for losing my way. I just… I need you to know that I’m sorry.”

“You needn’t apologize. Having you here and safe is all I need after that hell.”

“You’re the only one the Son didn’t turn. It wasn’t a choice for Ahsoka, but it was for me. You’re the one whose eyes stayed blue.”

“I’m not the Chosen One and I wasn’t the one who was convenient to steal from the ship. Perhaps the Son knew it’d hurt more to have your Padawan turn against you.”

Anakin frowns. “I think you’re right to a degree. He needed me alive and maybe he somehow knew I’d let myself die before hurting you.” Anakin tries hard not to cry and fails miserably.

“It's alright, my love,” Obi-Wan says assuringly, letting Anakin hug him tighter. “It's okay."

—

Padmé looks happy to have her ex-husband walk into her office unannounced. She doesn’t look the slightest bit surprised.

“I had a feeling you’d be showing up soon. Obi-Wan came to see me yesterday, said you were trapped on some weird planet and that it shook you up a bit.”

“He’s right,” Anakin confirms with a nod. “Shook me up a  _ lot _ .”

“It was occupied by beings made of the Force or personifying the Force? It went over my head honestly,” she admits. “He said that the father of the light side and the dark side wanted you to stay behind and keep the balance. That’s what you were born to do, right? Bring balance to the Force?”

“I couldn’t stay behind.”

“Because of Obi-Wan.”

“Because of him and Ahsoka and  _ you  _ and my mother. I couldn’t leave behind the people I love so I could spend the rest of my life keeping two god-like beings from killing each other and plunging the rest of the universe into one extreme or another. Then the Daughter was killed and the Father killed himself so the Son would become mortal. It all resolved itself and I didn’t have to— I didn’t have to leave the people I love.”

“You’re not making much sense to me apart from telling me you stayed for people you love. I’m lucky to be one of those people.”

“You’re one of the first. Probably the second. I’ve always loved my mom and I think I fell in love with you at first sight.”

“You probably did with Obi-Wan too.”

“I’m not in love with him, Padmé,” Anakin says for what feels like the millionth time. “I obviously love him a whole hell of a lot, but I didn’t start at first sight. That’s not… It wouldn’t have been my first inclination on meeting the guy either. That’s just not how things are done on Tatooine. The word for it and the word for cowardly are the same in Huttese:  _ wakamancha.  _ That’s not something I would have wanted to be, Padmé.”

The look on her face is one of pity and understanding at the same time. “It’s not a bad thing in the Core Worlds.”

“No? It’s wrong on a different count. I’m not supposed to be in love with  _ anyone _ . I’m a Jedi, Padmé.” He clears his throat to combat the tears welling up in his eyes. “It’s the reason you and I fell apart.”

“We were both naive to think things could work between a senator and a Jedi, not to mention how different we are. Attraction and the allure of forbidden love were the only things we built our marriage on and we suffered for it. Luckily we course-corrected and now we can be good friends.”

“I’m glad I have you as a friend,” Anakin says. “I was worried we’d never speak again after what I did.”

“I just needed time.”

“Please don’t imply I’m in love with Obi-Wan ever again. I’m not. I love him, but I’m not  _ in  _ love.”

She nods back and smiles. “Okay, Ani. Just the love of a friend.” She looks as if she believes him as far as she can throw him, that he’s heavily in denial, but doesn’t press. Thank the Force for that.


	13. Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan doesn't want to sleep, Anakin can't sleep.

Obi-Wan officially hasn’t slept in two weeks. He knows that because that’s how long he’s been on Mimban. He’s drowning in mud and substituting actual sleep with stims, caf, and meditation. He hates the taste of caf and the stim injector stings, but keeps him going.

As much as he misses them, he’s glad Ahsoka and Anakin aren’t here. There’s too much death for Ahsoka and Anakin has the same taste for mud as he does for sand.

“General, you need to get horizontal  _ now _ ,” Cody eventually says. 

“I’m fine. Ready for whatever these droids throw at us today.”

“I’m not letting it slide anymore, sir. Go. To. Sleep.” His voice is stern and Obi-Wan feels guilty for stressing him out.

He falls asleep as soon as he hits the cot.

—

Color Obi-Wan shocked when he wakes up and finds an equally muddy Anakin Skywalker pressed against him, deep in his REM cycle. 

The only other person in the room is Waxer on the other cot, nursing a broken ankle.

“What is he doing here?” he asks Waxer in a hushed tone, not looking forward to a grumpy mid-sleep Anakin grousing at him if he’s too loud. 

“Cody called in for assistance. Rex told the general to get some sleep. Apparently he’d been awake for a week. You had him beat, sir.”

“And Ahsoka?”

“Far as I know, she’s with General Plo and the 104th.”

Obi-Wan breathes a sigh of relief. She’s too young to see the men getting mowed down by droids like this.

“Does he always share a cot with you, sir?” Waxer asks with an amused look on his face.

Obi-Wan sighs. “Yes,” he admits tiredly.

—

The field is littered with battle droid parts and the bodies of both clones and the soldiers of the Mimbanese Liberation Army. The last of the droids fall and Obi-Wan falls to his knees in the muck, surrounded by the 501st and 212th and 224th. The only thing left to do is to clean up the mineral mining operation itself.

Unlike their droid army, the Separatists themselves can be negotiated with. Unfortunately for them, the time for talking has passed for Obi-Wan. They lost General Laan Tik and they lost more men from the 224th than they have left. Many of the native Mimbanese have fallen into the mire to never return. 

Anakin, it seems, is even more upset. Obi-Wan has to run after him, boots sinking deep into the mud with each footfall, struggling to keep up. “Take a breath, Anakin!”

“Why?!” he asks, spinning around, ankle catching in the swampy ground. “Why do I need to calm down? You’ve been here for  _ weeks!  _ Nothing has been accomplished and all we have to show for it is a bunch of dead men! I’m going to cleave every last Separatist’s head from their shoulders!”

Obi-Wan’s tactic was going to be threatening that, but not following through.

“Anakin, Anakin,” Obi-Wan says, finally getting close enough to embrace his friend, “I know. You’re right. It’s hard to see what we even accomplished here. We’ve freed the Mimbanese from the Separatists, yes, but who knows how long that will last? We have to live small victory to small victory because that’s the only way to get through war without losing your fucking mind.”

Obi-Wan kisses Anakin’s forehead and immediately regrets it for all the mud that gets on his lips. He doesn’t even have clean hands or a clean sleeve to wipe them off and realizes he has to just live with it. It’s worth it for the sedating effect it has on his friend.

“Hostile negotiations, not outright murder,” Obi-Wan says, stroking his friend’s muck-caked hair.

“Yeah. Sounds… sounds good.”

—

“This might be the greatest shower I’ve ever taken,” Anakin says with a sigh, running soapy hands through his hair. Mud and grime slough off in chunks and fall to the tiles at their feet.

Obi-Wan takes a step away from him. “Keep your mud over there.”

This is why he hates showering with Anakin. The man has no concept of personal space where Obi-Wan is concerned, not even in the shower.

“It’s everyone’s mud at this point, General,” Rex remarks.

He’s got a point there. Rex’s takes are almost always good points. Still, Anakin needs to be kept at arm’s length. There is a time and place for close personal contact and Obi-Wan would very much prefer that being at least partially clothed.

“What the karking shit, how much bacta did you use? How many times did you get  _ shot _ ?” Anakin asks, running his fingertips over wounds that will definitely scar. Seriously, no personal space.

Obi-Wan thinks. “Seven? No, eight times.”

“Two in the chest?”

“I didn’t have the luxury of stopping every time I was injured.”

“He stayed awake for two full weeks,” Boil offers traitorously. 

“You don’t get an opinion on that because I know you hadn’t slept in a week,” Obi-Wan says, preemptively scolding Anakin.

Anakin reaches out in the Force, tells him,  _ I can’t sleep alone anymore. _

Obi-Wan frowns, searching for those blue eyes, but Anakin turns away to avoid looking at him.

_ You’ll always have a place with me _ , Obi-Wan assures him.

—

Anakin had hoped he wouldn’t ask. Maybe he naively thought that maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t ask. Of course, that would be too much to ask for from the guy who lives rent-free in his mind.

“Why don’t you sleep, Anakin?”

Anakin groans and pulls the covers over his head, leaving  _ just  _ enough room to watch Obi-Wan get ready for bed. “I hoped you wouldn’t ask.”

“With how much I care for you, you had to know I would ask.”

“It’s Mortis. I close my eyes and I see Ahsoka’s dead white eyes. I close my eyes and I see you and Ahsoka being dangled and I’m forced to choose one of you over the other. I close my eyes and I imagine what I saw to be so tempted by the Son, imagine what the Father erased from my mind. He told me to beware my heart and it terrifies me that something will happen to you or Ahsoka or Padmé or my mother or even Master Windu and I’ll snap like a twig and everything light in me will disappear. I mean, I know I won’t because of you, but it’s still a fear.”

“You were fine after we got back.”

“Yeah, I had you then. Then I was alone and every night was an anxiety attack. I’ll catch a few naps when I’m just so exhausted I can’t even sit upright, but they’re plagued with nightmares. Ahsoka and Rex had to wake me up from the last one because my screaming was a concern.”

Obi-Wan kneels beside the bunk and peels the covers away from Anakin’s face. He takes Anakin’s cheeks into his hands and gazes deeply into his eyes. “I know there’s no way in hell you’d fall.”

“I fell for the Son’s tactics. Why are you so sure?”

“I know you. I know your heart. I like to think I know you better than anybody else.”

“You do,” Anakin assures him.

“There’s no evil in your soul, Anakin. You are a good person and I love you.” Obi-Wan kisses Anakin’s forehead before he gets into bed with him. 

Anakin is too tired to be ashamed of how quickly he takes hold of his friend, latching on like a leech and allowing himself to be enveloped in a strong set of arms.

He sleeps well, his thoughts far away from a fall to the dark side and focused intently on the heartbeat under his palm.

—

“Where to next?” Anakin asks, slipping into the briefing late. He’s appreciative for Obi-Wan letting him sleep in, but he needs to be punctual for meetings like this.

“Master Windu suggested you return to Coruscant for a spell. The rest of us will be meeting up with Master Plo and the 104th to pick up our Padawan.”

“The 501st will do you proud in your absence, General,” Rex says with a nod.

“Dismissed,” Obi-Wan declares, leaving the men to return to their stations. 

Anakin drags Obi-Wan into an alcove to ask, “Why the kriff am I being sent back to Coruscant? It’s too soon for shore leave.”

“It’s your Master’s suggestion. I guess Ahsoka turned to him about the sleep screaming and he wants you to see a mind healer.”

“That little traitor,” Anakin grumbles, looking off to the side.

Obi-Wan takes Anakin’s face into his hands so he can look into his eyes. “This will be good for you, okay? Even if you don’t like the mind healer, I encourage you to be open with Master Windu. You’ve been able to do that in the past and he has always given you good counsel. Please be open to this.”

“I don’t have much of a choice, do I?”

Obi-Wan leans upward to kiss Anakin’s cheek. “Not even the semblance of a choice.”

—

“Ani, what a surprise.”

He gives Padmé a weak smile. It’s a surprise to him too. He left the mind healer’s and his feet directed him to a speeder and his brain on autopilot brought him to the Senate building. This is the second time in less than six weeks that he’s shown up at her door and she’s let him in.

“You look white as a sheet,” she remarks. 

“I don’t sleep much anymore,” he says offhandedly. “You’re looking good. Happy.”

“I am,” she replies, guiding him to the sofa. “Are you ill?”

“I keep having nightmares about Mortis. That nightmare plane where I was supposed to give up my life here to stay. I was fine immediately following, but I had Obi-Wan then.”

“He’s your security blanket,” she says, taking his organic hand into both of hers. “I remember that.”

“Ahsoka told Master Windu I screamed in my sleep, so I’m on indefinite shore leave while I see a mind healer.”

“I’m glad she did.”

“If they just let me be with Obi-Wan all the time, I’d be fine.”

“That’s not fair to Obi-Wan. He’s probably worried sick about you on top of being in a war. If he’s the only thing that lets you sleep at night, it’s just another thing on top of everything he has to deal with.”

“I need to see a mind healer so he doesn’t have to babysit me? Is that what you’re saying?”

“I’m saying if he doesn’t have to worry about you getting enough rest when he’s not around, he’ll have one less thing on his mind.”

Okay, he sees where she’s coming from. Maybe it is a little, or a lot, unfair for him to put this extra stress on Obi-Wan. He’s overseeing so much of the war effort as co-commander of the Open Circle Fleet, even more than Anakin, the other half of the circle, due to his role on the Council. Anakin needs to get his shit together so Obi-Wan can rest easily himself.

“Just because you can sleep well again doesn’t mean you can’t climb into Obi-Wan’s bunk when the mood strikes,” she tells him. Anakin blushes at how her phrasing sounds. “Might be a lot more restful for you both if the threat of a nightmare isn’t something to worry about. You can just be together.”

“I thought you were supposed to stop implying I’m in love with Obi-Wan.”

“I’m not!” she insists. “Though the fact that your mind goes there…”

Anakin groans and covers his face with his mechanical hand. “I feel like I only come to you with problems anymore. That’s not friendship, that’s using you as an unofficial mind healer.”

“If it’s helpful, then it’s helpful, Ani. I want to help because you’re one of my best friends. Well, you  _ are _ my best friend besides Bail.”

“You’re my best friend besides Obi-Wan.”

“We’re each other’s second-best friend. I’m happy to hear that,” she says with a smile.

“How is Senator Organa? I heard Obi-Wan mention that he and his wife just adopted a child.”

“A little girl. They’re still working on a name,” she says, her face lighting up happily. “Bail showed me pictures. She’s the cutest little thing.”

“I’m still a little scarred from our divorce, but I’m glad that you’ll get to have a family of your own someday. You’d never get that with me.”

“Ani—”

“You’re going to find someone, hopefully not a politician, and have a few kids and I’ll get to be their Uncle Anakin.”

Padmé rolls her eyes. “Ah yes. Your aversion to politicians. Must I remind you that  _ I  _ am a politician? Your friend the Chancellor is a politician.”

“You guys are different. Maybe they make ‘em different on Naboo,” Anakin says with a grin. Padmé laughs and shakes her head. 

Anakin is so glad that he didn’t lose her forever. He wants her in his life because he still loves her and as a friend is better than nothing at all.

—

“You don’t look well, Master.”

Obi-Wan nods. “I’ll be fine.”

“You look like you’re about to keel over,” Ahsoka says, putting her hand on his arm. “Have you been sleeping?”

He shakes his head. He’s not in the business of lying to her. “No. I’m worried about Anakin. His nightmares are of Mortis. He sees your dead body when he closes his eyes.”

Ahsoka frowns. “It’s that bad?”

“It’s why he’s been sent to the mind healer. I know he’s in good hands now, but I still worry. He’s not always the most forthcoming with people he doesn’t know well. Or even with people he  _ does  _ know well. I know he’s a bit closed off about his past to you.”

“I try not to take it personally.”

“I know you don’t. He’s a bit of an enigma to most.”

“He’s definitely closed off compared to you. I can ask you basically anything and get a straight answer. Anakin once called you honest to a fault.”

“I can’t say he’s wrong,” Obi-Wan admits. “Part of me wonders if I’d be different had I never known Anakin. He needled the truth out of me and it changed me. I’d deflect and I was a bit deceptive with my first Master, but Anakin urged me to be forthright with Master Yoda about my brush with the dark side and from then on, I’ve strived to be honest and open.”

“Good. I’m glad I have at least one Master who won’t brush off my questions about his past.”

“He had a rough life before coming to the Jedi. Give him time.”

Ahsoka nods. “Alright. I’ll give him some more time.”

—

Even more helpful than the mind healer have been Padmé, Master Windu, and even Grand Master Yoda. He’s unfamiliar with his Temple-appointed mind healer, but his friend and the Masters know him and know him well, but nobody but Master Che is allowed to clear him to return to combat and she won’t do that until he completes ten sessions.

He asks if he can do them all at once and she just shakes her head and walks away. The best he can get is one per day. He first visited Padmé after his first session, had Master Windu force him to go to his second session after a long talk, and Master Yoda escorted him to his third.

_ Just one more week. _

He considers comming Obi-Wan, but Padmé is right. He has to focus on the war and she didn’t phrase it as caring for Anakin being a full-time job, but he knows in his heart that it basically is. Obi-Wan is doing the work of fifty Jedi, he doesn’t need a fifty-first being needy.

Instead he comms Rex, just to check on the squad and make sure the men are doing well.

_ “Everything’s fine, sir. General Kenobi and Commander Tano are taking good care of us. Don’t you worry.” _

“I always worry when Ahsoka is given a bit of a lead, especially lately.” Especially since he had to see her corpse.

_ “General Kenobi is making sure she doesn’t go making any half-cocked decisions.” _

“General Kenobi is always better at reining her in than I am,” Anakin says with an eye roll. It’s true and he’s glad for it. Imagine if she had two Masters and they were both reckless. “How  _ is  _ General Kenobi? Is Cody making sure he’s remembering to eat and sleep?”

_ “Cody is ensuring he is doing the minimum to keep himself alive.” _

“Good. Good. That’s… I’m glad to hear it.”

_ “I feel like you called to ask that question rather than any others.” _

“No! No way, I’m more interested in my men’s welfare than Obi-Wan’s. Well, actually, he’s responsible for you right now, so I’d say I’m equally as concerned for him as I am for the 501st.”

_ “I’ll let him know you called.” _

“Don’t bother him with it. He’s busy. He has a lot of responsibilities and he doesn’t need me to burden him with another.”

_ “Sir, I think you underestimate how much you do for him. Cody keeps a log of the general’s self-care and it increases dramatically whenever he finds you in bed together. He’s come to just assume that when General Kenobi eats breakfast and gets more than an hour of sleep, you’re in his bunk.” _

Anakin blushes and thanks the Force that it doesn’t show up in the blue of a holo. His grimace does, however. “‘Finds you in bed together’ makes it sound like something it isn’t. We sleep together, but we’re not  _ sleeping together. _ It’s just cuddling, I swear.”

_ “I believe you, sir.” _

“Thanks. I don’t want the men to think we’re having sex. Obi-Wan would have a heart attack if he found out people think we’re banging it out. Besides, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t need a mind healer if I was getting laid.”

Rex snorts.  _ “I highly doubt that. We all see mind healers. It’s not something you have to be ashamed of. Every single one of the remnants of the 224th are flung off in different directions seeing them. Watching most of their brothers slaughtered is traumatizing. Commander Tano says she died and you saw her dead body. That must be traumatizing. She’s your Padawan, you’re responsible for her, and you watched her die.” _

Rex always makes a load of sense. Hearing that the 224th are all seeing mind healers about their trauma makes him feel a little better about going in tomorrow.

“Thanks, Rex. Say hi to everyone for me, alright?”

“ _ Will do, sir. _ ”

Once the comm cuts out, Anakin stretches out over his bed and sighs. Food. He should get food.

—

“Hey, Anakin!” 

Bant. How lucky of him to find a friend in the dining hall. He’s happy to join her, sitting between her and a batch of younglings.

“It’s a rare sight to see you without Ahsoka or Obi-Wan,” Bant comments.

“They’re off on the front lines and I’m here to see a mind healer,” he admits. Maybe Rex was right. Maybe it’s nothing to be ashamed of.

“Garen was sidelined for the same reason last month. Took him a while to not be ashamed of it. We all need a little help sometimes.”

“That’s what my captain said. We had a pretty rough time on Mimban and most of the 224th was killed including the general, so all the remnants are seeing them right now.”

“War is tough,” Bant says, resting her hand on Anakin’s forearm. Her frown changes to a smile as she changes topics. “It’s Obi-Wan’s birthday in two weeks. Do you need help cutting more flowers?”

Anakin laughs self-consciously. “I think I’ll manage.”

“He’s going to be 24. Twice the age he was when you met. Crazy to think, right?”

“Yeah, it is,” Anakin admits. “He’s definitely my best friend if he’s put up with me for this long.”

“He doesn’t _ put up with  _ you, Anakin. He genuinely likes to be around you. I’m pretty sure he loves you.”

Anakin knows he does. “I love him too,” he admits.

Bant grins. “I knew it.”

— 

“Happy birthday.”

Obi-Wan startles and drops what he’s working on, turning to look at the doorway. Anakin is standing there, a bouquet of flowers in his hands.

“I clipped the thorns off and Echo helped me find something to use as a vase.”

“Oh, you didn’t have to do that this year,” Obi-Wan tells him, taking the flowers and placing them onto the small table in his quarters.

“Are you planning on baking me a cake?” Anakin challenges.

“Yes,” he admits sheepishly.

“Figured since I was already sidelined on Coruscant, I might as well steal from the Temple Gardens again.”

Obi-Wan rolls his eyes and kisses Anakin on the cheek then pulls him into a tight embrace. “The front hasn’t been the same without you.”

“Glad to know I make war a better place for you.”

“Of course you do. I love you. I miss you when you’re away.” Obi-Wan’s voice carries a sincerity that makes Anakin smile.

“I love you too, Obi-Wan. All I wanted was to talk to you, but I didn’t want to bother the greatest general in the GAR.”

“It’s never a bother to hear from you. And I’m far from the greatest general in the GAR.”

“Well, let’s agree to disagree on both counts,” Anakin says with a grin. “C’mon, let’s go get something to eat. Something tells me Cody is making sure you get the minimum to stay upright, but you should really eat more.”

“Is Rex that something?”

Anakin rolls his eyes, but laughs. “Yes, he is.”

“Rex told me you said hello, so I figured you’d spoken. He and Cody are terrible gossips.”

“Tell me about it.”

Obi-Wan smiles at him. “I’m glad you’re back.”

“I am too.”


	14. Bacta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan gets injured and Anakin takes care of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for some good ol' fashioned internalized homophobia (that may or may not be inspired by true events)

“Why is he so upset?” Ahsoka asks Master Obi-Wan curiously, watching as her other Master stalks off.

“Anakin has never talked about his past, has he?” 

She remembers their first mission and the reluctance to reveal anything about himself. She’s always wondered why he was so cagey about it. “Only to tell me he won't talk about it.”

“As a child, Anakin and his mother were sold into slavery by the Hutt clans. You can imagine why he wouldn’t care to discuss that while rescuing an infant Hutt.”

Ahsoka frowns. That makes so much sense. Poor Anakin… “Oh. And these Zygerrians, they're slavers?”

Obi-Wan nods. “Anakin has struggled to put his past behind him.”

“Don't worry, I'll keep an eye on him,” she says.

“Yes, make sure you do. He’s volatile on a good day.”

Ahsoka snorts with amusement. “That’s sure putting it lightly.”

—

“I want to take every slaver’s head off.”

Obi-Wan rests his hand on Anakin’s lower back and ushers him away from Ahsoka and the men. “I think you’re a little too close to this one.”

“Too close? I was a slave, Obi-Wan. I know exactly what these pieces of shit are capable of. I had a chip under my skin that was rigged to blow if I stepped out of line. I’m too close? You wore a slave collar yourself, didn’t you? Just for a few days, but it was something. Obi-Wan, I can’t let this one go.”

“I discussed this with the Council while you were apprehending D’Nar. They want to send in someone less recognizable. Your image is everywhere. You’re the poster boy for the Republic. They’re sending in Vos with Aayla, Bly, and Galle. It’s a risk sending in clones, but they’ll be disguised. It’d be riskier sending us.”

Anakin takes a deep breath as Obi-Wan massages comforting circles into his back. “Okay,” Anakin says between calculated breaths, the ones his mind healer taught him. Four seconds in, hold for seven seconds, eight seconds out. He does this several times, feeling himself relax under Obi-Wan’s touch.

“Are you alright now?” Obi-Wan asks, his hand moving up from Anakin’s lower back to rest between his shoulder blades.

“I will be. Thanks,” he says quietly. Anakin lets Obi-Wan guide him back to the briefing. Obi-Wan goes to remove his hand, but Anakin gently grabs his wrist with his mechno-hand and brings it back. He wants to be touched and he wants to be touched by Obi-Wan. He’s being needy, he knows, but he’s upset. 

He gets even more upset as he listens to Obi-Wan talk, looking at him. He’s upset that a slaver put his hands on Obi-Wan. He hates the bruises that have started to bloom on his face and probably all over his body. There’s a nasty cut on his cheekbone where a black bruise is starting to form. He’s going to insist he doesn’t need it, but Anakin will pin him down and put bacta on the cuts. Might pin him down just so he has to listen to him tell him how dumb he is.

Anakin belatedly realizes he’s not listening to any of the briefing. He’ll just ask Obi-Wan what he missed later.

—

Obi-Wan sits on the edge of his bunk, wincing as he moves to pull off his clothes. Letting himself be beaten up was necessary for the bombs to be deactivated and the adrenaline at the time let him keep going, but he’s kicking himself for letting it go so far.

“Let me help you,” Anakin insists, returning from the fresher with a first aid kit. Obi-Wan accepts the help and Anakin assists him in pulling his tunic over his head.

“Thank you,” Obi-Wan says, rolling his shoulders back. He’s covered in bruises, he doesn’t need to look at himself to know that. 

“You look like shit,” Anakin remarks as he fumbles through the medkit. He locates his quarry and lifts it up in victory. “Alright, let’s take a look at you.”

Anakin puts his knees on either side of Obi-Wan’s thighs, a bacta tube in one hand.

“How do you expect to look at me when you’re in my lap?” 

“I can see your face from here.”

The cuts on his forehead and cheek tingle as Anakin spreads the bacta over the still open wounds. Anakin’s fingers are gentle, his mechanical hand cradling his face as his organic hand directs the bacta over his skin.

“Thank you,” Obi-Wan says.

“Mhm. Of course. You take care of me, I take care of you.”

Anakin gets out of his lap to massage the bacta over bruises on his shoulders and chest and arms and back.

“You broke a rib,” Anakin says accusatorily, being very gentle as he runs his fingers over a black contusion on his ribcage.

Obi-Wan winces under the slightest pressure. “It bought you time to disarm the bombs.”

“I don’t like that he put his hands on you.” Possessive Anakin rears his head as he fiddles with the laces on Obi-Wan’s pants.

“Anakin, what are you—”

“You were favoring your left leg. Take your pants off.”

Thank the Force that’s what he was doing. Obi-Wan was a little worried Anakin’s possessiveness was taking an uncomfortable turn toward a boundary they should never  _ ever  _ skirt. They’ve kissed twice and that’s about as close to the border Obi-Wan is willing to get. They cannot get even a single, solitary inch closer to that line.

“You’re thinking too hard,” Anakin accuses.

“Sorry. It’s been a rough day,” Obi-Wan says by way of an excuse. It  _ has  _ been a rough day, but he’s also distracted by the fact that Anakin just took his pants off.

“I know. I obviously didn’t get beaten up by a slaver, but I know what you mean.” Anakin sits down beside him and rests his chin on Obi-Wan’s bare shoulder. “I— Oh, I missed one.”

Anakin grabs the tube of bacta gel and dispenses a small amount onto his fingers, rubbing it over the marks left on his neck by the wretched hand of Darts D’Nar.

“I could tell you weren’t paying attention to the briefing so you should know we’re wanted on Coruscant as soon as possible,” Obi-Wan tells him. “Just the three of us. Master Allie will be taking the reins on the fleet until our return.”

“Great. I miss my bed.”

Obi-Wan rolls his eyes. “ _ My  _ bed. Yours is covered in droid parts.”

Anakin rolls his eyes dramatically. “Might as well just call it ours. Or is that too much attachment for you?”

“Oh, my dear, it’s been too much attachment since the first time you got into bed with me.”

Anakin laughs and rests his head on Obi-Wan’s shoulder. “Glad to know we’re in agreement with that. I knew I was attached to you as soon as you let me cuddle with you.”

“Honestly, I knew you were going to worm your way under my skin not long after we met. It appears that I was correct.”

“I’m sorry that I’ve pushed the bounds of the attachment. I really should’ve asked before impulsively kissing you.” Oh. 

“It’s fine, Anakin.”

“No, it’s not. I feel really bad about it. You’re so forgiving of everything and I apologized the first time and then I did it again.” He’s really upset with himself. Obi-Wan can tell by the shaky timbre of his voice. “You have made such a big concession in the interpretation of the Code by being with me and I pushed it by making you  _ be  _ with me.”

“Anakin, there’s no need to apologize. If you recall, I  _ did  _ reciprocate that second time,” he points out. It was a rather enjoyable kiss without context.  _ With  _ context it’s a lot more dicey. He shouldn’t have enjoyed a kiss with his closest friend and partner that much. Or at all. He really shouldn’t be kissing  _ anyone _ , but especially not Anakin. 

“Because you were frustrated with Satine and needed another outlet,” Anakin suggests.

It’s not because of that. He’ll go along with that simplified version of the events though. “That may be the case, but please don’t blame yourself. You are my dearest, truest, best friend and there are only a few things you could do to upset me and, believe me, a simple kiss isn’t anywhere near those things.”

“What  _ are  _ those things?” Anakin asks, his eyes curious as he looks into Obi-Wan’s.

Well, he hadn’t expected to actually produce some examples. He thinks and thinks and comes to decide, “Outright murder, harming children, falling for a Sith Lord’s clever words and deceptions… Basically don’t do anything Dooku does.”

“Was what I did to Tal Merrik outright murder?” he asks with a frown.

“No. He was going to blow up the ship. I would have done it, but he was right. I wasn’t going to do it in front of Satine.”

“Yeah, yeah. Can’t go around killing in front of your pacifist of an old flame.” He pauses before saying, “So as long as I don’t join a Sith Lord by slaughtering a bunch of younglings, you’ll never hate me?”

“I’d never hate you regardless. I think my biggest weakness is always going to be my love for you.”

“Weakness?” Anakin asks, his big blue eyes sad at the idea.

“I would give my life for yours,” Obi-Wan tells him. “Without a second thought, I would lay down my life if it meant you would live. I think that’s a pretty big weakness.”

“Well, it would eat away at me if I knew the only reason I was alive was your sacrifice. I don’t know who I am without you, Obi-Wan. You are such a big part of me that losing you would be like losing all of my limbs. If you laid down your life for me, I don’t know if I’d be able to live with the guilt.”

“Let’s not think about it then. Let’s make the most of every moment we’re together.”

Anakin looks like he might do something rash, but he reins himself in. “What else did I miss when I wasn’t paying attention?” Obi-Wan is more than willing to fill him in on all he missed.

—

As much as he hates to entertain the idea, Anakin has come to realize that he is absolutely and certainly attracted to the objectively handsome man that is Obi-Wan Kenobi. He’s not in love with the guy,  _ obviously _ , but the attraction is there.

It makes him feel a bit ill at times. Sure, he’s kissed the guy more than once, but that doesn’t mean he’s one of  _ those. _ He’s the farthest thing from cowardly. He was podracing in early childhood so nobody on Tatooine would’ve called him  _ wakamancha _ . Yet this is something that would nullify every courageous act he’s ever taken on and brand him with that word. Men simply do not feel attraction to other men on Tatooine. Period, full stop.

Padmé said it’s different in the Core Worlds, but that doesn’t erase the culture Anakin was immersed in for the first nine years of his life. The fact that she even said it is kind of offensive. He’s not in love with Obi-Wan, dammit. Even if he finds him totally fuckable.

Anakin spends most of his shower struggling with himself over this stupid thing where he finds Obi-Wan stupid hot. The water gets cold by the time he decides he just has to avoid ever getting in Obi-Wan’s lap or helping him take his clothes off ever again.  _ That’s _ what the problem was. 

_ That’s not what the problem was. _ He’s sat in laps before, he’s taken the clothes off of other injured friends. The difference is the man. He wants to be with Obi-Wan because he’s  _ Obi-Wan _ , not for any other reason. In love with him or not, he’s undoubtedly the love of Anakin’s life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan:  
>   
> Anakin:  
> 


	15. Something Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin goes to Ringo Vinda, Rako Hardeen goes to prison.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the rating got a small bump up for this chapter~  
> it feels short and i don't really like it, but i felt compelled to post something before i have to contend with a huge train of assignments for my second summer session of classes. all of this because i want to get my degrees early lol

“Skywalker, you’ll be going to Ringo Vinda with your Padawan to aid Masters Tiplar and Tiplee in two days’ time. They’ve been battling there for several weeks and they’ve been unable to gain any ground. Obi-Wan, we need you to be present here on Coruscant to guard a few high-profile senators. Anakin, you are dismissed. Councilor, please remain for the rest of the meeting,” Master Windu requests.

Anakin gives the Council a small bow and waves goodbye to his Master. He brushes up against Obi-Wan in the Force and bumps their hands together as Obi-Wan walks past him to his seat.  _ See you later _ , he says through the Force.  _ Lunch and board games with Ahsoka, right? _

_ Wouldn’t miss it for anything. _

Anakin’s Force-signature glows a happy golden color as he departs the Council chambers and heads in the direction of their apartment.

The looks on the faces of Obi-Wan’s fellow councilors are less than happy, though Obi-Wan has no idea why not. Aayla and Quinlan’s mission to Zygerria was a rousing success with Master Plo swooping in to help save all the people of Kiros. This is a major victory for the Republic. It’s a massive victory for  _ Anakin _ which resulted in him getting so drunk he couldn’t stand the night before. Ahsoka held his hair back as he threw up and spent half the time looking back at Obi-Wan and grimacing. He’s spent enough time holding back drunk or hungover Anakin’s hair for several lifetimes. It was time to pass the torch.

“Which senators this time? I swear it’s almost always the more liberal ones. Organa, Amidala, Mothma, Chuchi?”

“Not quite,” Master Yoda says.

“The time has come for us to initiate Operation Hardeen. Eval isn’t talking and we’re pretty sure they’re going to make a move in just a few days,” Master Windu informs him. “I know it’s not ideal for us to have a Council member fake their death, but we need to keep it close to the vest. These words don’t leave this chamber. We can’t have anyone else be privy to this information.”

Anakin. He’s going to have to lie to Anakin. He’s going to make Anakin think he’s dead.

A sniper shot. He’ll take a vitals suppressor and wear a blaster-proof vest and he’ll get shot. He’ll be dead to the world to whomever has the misfortune to move his body.

“We want it to be Skywalker,” Master Mundi declares.

Those words are like ice down Obi-Wan’s spine. “No. It is bad enough that I’ll have to deceive him. Don’t make him touch or see my dead body. Masters Windu and Yoda, you know how badly it destroyed him to look upon Ahsoka’s corpse. He’s known me  _ far  _ longer and our emotional bond is… Well, he’ll sense something’s not right.”

“I don’t like it either, but keeping Anakin on the outside is critical. Everyone knows how close you are. It’ll be his reaction that sells the sniper,” Master Windu says solemnly. He obviously doesn’t want his Padawan to go through even more pain. “We can debrief him afterward.”

“No. I’m refusing. Don’t let him see me or touch me or… Please, just let me tell him and only him. He’s a far better actor than you’d think.” Anakin concealed an entire marriage from the entire Order, he can pretend to mourn. “I won’t tell Ahsoka, I won’t tell anyone else. Only Anakin.”

Masters Yoda and Windu share a look, almost debating between themselves with their eyes. “Tell him, you may, but present to check your pulse and react, he must be.”

_ Thank every possible deity. _ He doesn’t have to lie to him. He’s not sure how long it would take for Anakin to forgive him if his pain was used to sell some plot. He wonders if he’d ever truly recover.

—

“Ahsoka said not to wait for her for lunch. Guess she’s hanging out with Barriss today. She’ll be having dinner at Dex’s with us tonight though,” Anakin says once Obi-Wan walks through the door. Doesn’t even look up from the tinkering he’s doing, just knowing implicitly that that’s who’s walking in. Anakin gestures toward the kitchen from his spot on the floor. “Figured you wouldn’t want me setting the kitchen on fire so I got stuff from the dining hall.”

He’s not hungry. He has this aching pit in his stomach about having this particular conversation.  _ Do you mind too terribly checking my not-quite-dead body for a pulse? _

Deep breaths in, deep breaths out.

“I’m going to die tonight. On paper at least. I’m going to get shot by a sniper. I’m going to fall off a building and my vitals will be suppressed. You’ll be the one to hold my body and weep and check my pulse. You will cry at my funeral. You will arrest me once I’ve taken the form of my so-called killer. I will go to prison. I will figure out Moralo Eval’s plot to kidnap or assassinate the Chancellor at the festival on Naboo, then I will miraculously return to life.”

“You… you’re not joking,” Anakin says, studying Obi-Wan’s face for any sense of levity. “I have to pretend to mourn my best friend? That’ll be easy. I’ll just throw myself into whatever I’m doing at Ringo Vinda. Use the rage at being alone in the galaxy to kill a few more droids.”

“You’re taking this very lightly. Anakin, I’m going to die and become a criminal. I’m going to prison. This isn’t some easy undercover romp at a wealthy baron’s estate.” That was a fun mission. They pretended to be brothers and heirs to a doonium mine fortune and pretended to be rip-roaring drunk as they kept an eye out for a hand-off between the baron and a Trade Federation lackey. 

“I know, Obi-Wan. It’s a serious deal. You’re faking your death.”

“You lost so much of yourself when Ahsoka died. I’m not so sure seeing my dead body isn’t going to do some damage to your psyche, even if you know I’m not actually deceased. Especially going into it knowing that if I’m made, I  _ will  _ die.”

“Okay,” Anakin says, putting down the lamp he’s destroyed and rebuilt seven times already. He sits down beside Obi-Wan on the couch and puts his hand on his knee. “I’ve got a few tricks from the mind healer that I’ll use to get through it. I’ll have Snips to hold my hand and make it look a little more believable. She won’t know it’s not real, right?”

“You’re the only one the Council agreed to let me tell. It was after I reminded them what happened with Ahsoka’s death. Not everyone agreed on you being briefed, but I didn’t want to do something that would hurt you so badly.”

“Yeah, it would have wrecked me. I would probably kill the guy who did it and since it’s going to be you…”

“It would have been a cluster headache, me trying to stop you from killing me. I’d have to convince you with a different bone structure and voice and a facial tattoo.”

“You’d have to do something crazy. Like kiss me or something. I’d definitely recognize a kiss from you. I mean, you’d have a different shaped mouth…”

Obi-Wan is surprised his mind went there. “I was thinking I’d have to think of a memory only you and I share.”

“That would make a lot more sense,” Anakin says, blushing furiously. “I mean, I’d probably be initially wigged out that a criminal was kissing me.”

“You really think you’d be able to tell?” Obi-Wan asks, knocking his knee against Anakin’s.

“Mm, maybe? You’re one of two people I’ve kissed and I know I’d be able to tell Padmé’s anywhere. Maybe it’s different since I’ve only kissed you twice.”

Against his better judgment, Obi-Wan changes that. He leans over and places his lips on Anakin’s. Anakin reacts almost instantaneously, his arms looping around Obi-Wan’s middle. He manages to pull Obi-Wan nearly entirely on top of him before Obi-Wan can even react to Anakin’s hands on him.

Obi-Wan can’t bring himself to stop knowing these may be some of their final moments together. If something awful goes wrong, this could be Anakin’s last memory of him. He wants him to remember something good like a kiss, not something as bleak as explaining he needs to check for a pulse. Better a kiss than the harsh, clinical way Obi-Wan presented his own death.

Even more intimate than the kiss is the way they bleed into one another in the Force. Their bond is open and shields are done away with. A two-word phrase pulses out from Anakin in waves:  _ love you, love you, love you. _

Obi-Wan loves him too. Almost too much. Much too much.

_ Love you, love you, need you, need you, need you. Mine, mine, mine, mine. _

Possessive Anakin is out in full swing and his lips leave Obi-Wan’s to attach to his neck, undoubtedly leaving a mark there to signify that, yes, he belongs to someone and, no, it’s not anyone else.

_ Bedroom. Bed. Our bedroom. Our bed. _

Anakin doesn’t even need to think in full sentences for Obi-Wan to understand exactly what he wants. Obi-Wan wants it too, shameful as it is for someone so strictly adherent to the Code, but his gut instinct is to say ‘fuck the Code’ and take Anakin to bed. And that’s exactly what he does.

Anakin’s never been with a man before, but what he lacks in experience he makes up for in unbridled enthusiasm. It’s a bit awkward and a bit fumbly to start out, but there comes a moment where they become a single entity in the Force and every motion becomes fluid and every breath is in sync. They topple over the precipice nigh simultaneously, their bond in the Force shaking as they share intense pleasure.

The gravity of what they’ve done doesn’t quite sink in until the veil of lust disappears and Obi-Wan realizes he’s still inside Anakin. Once he rectifies that and lays beside him, he’s unsure of what to think or do or  _ say. _

“Whoa,” is what Anakin manages. 

“Whoa is an apt descriptor,” Obi-Wan agrees.

“Not at all where I saw the afternoon going.”

Obi-Wan certainly didn’t either. “It’s not what I expected to come of telling you I’m dying tonight.”

“Well, you’ll be back,” Anakin says brightly.

“Unless I don’t come back.”

“I am being cautiously optimistic,” Anakin decides, turning onto his side so he can look at Obi-Wan. “Do you regret what we just did?”

Obi-Wan thinks about it for a moment. “No, I don’t. Do you?”

“I mean, I might if it was just a one-time deal. Was it?”

Obi-Wan is torn. He  _ really  _ enjoyed what just happened, but it’s not the behavior of a councilor. His feelings beat out his morals in the end. “I suppose that all comes down to whether or not I survive this mission.”

“You will.”

“Then I suppose it’s not a one-time deal.”

Anakin grins and dives in for a kiss. “I’ve spent so much time wondering if Master Mundi was right. I’ve been confused since you first told me he thinks we’re in love and you kissing me back that second time just increased my confusion by a lot,” Anakin admits as he runs his fingertips over the scars on Obi-Wan’s chest that he received on Mimban. “And now…”

“Anakin, don’t you know why I’ve been so closed off? I’m confused too.”

“I’m not as confused anymore. I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you.”

Obi-Wan’s been worried about this for more than a year, but he feels oddly carefree about it now. He’s come to terms and he knows what he’s been repressing this whole time. “I’m in love with you too.”

‘Fuck the Code’ might have to become Obi-Wan’s new mantra.

—

_ Good soldiers follow orders. _

“No, Tup’s not going to Kamino. I want him taken to Coruscant.”

Kix looks at Anakin with surprise. “Sir, if it’s an anti-clone virus—”

“‘Good soldiers follow orders,’” Anakin repeats. “Whose orders? What if the Kaminoans are the ones who gave those orders? I don’t know shit about how cloning works, but I don’t trust anyone but the Jedi to look into this. Master Che is a great healer and she’ll get to the bottom of this, anti-clone virus or not.”

“Yes, General,” Kix says with a nod, gesturing to Fives and Rex for assistance.

This is so concerning. It’s bad enough that one of his men murdered a Jedi in cold blood, but the fact that he was following some sort of orders? This doesn’t feel like Slick’s betrayal. No, there is something more sinister at play here and Anakin needs to get to the bottom of it.

—

There’s a chip in their heads. Anakin looks at the scans and feels instantly ill. He remembers his first arrival to Coruscant. The healers took a scan of his body to locate his slave chip and the explosives attached. He still has the scar from where they were removed. He remembers taking out his mom’s when he visited for his meditative retreat. It’s safer to get the chip out in case it malfunctions and triggers. That must be what happened to Tup’s chip. The order to kill a Jedi came from the chip is what Master Che has determined upon removing it from his head. His chip malfunctioned and triggered.

“This cannot leave this room,” Master Windu decides when Anakin and Master Che present their findings to the Council. 

“Except Obi-Wan, right?”

“As a member of the Council, Kenobi will be briefed after his mission,” Master Windu confirms.

Good. Anakin’s not sure he could hide this from him. He’s not sure he could hide  _ anything  _ from him. Not since that afternoon prior to Obi-Wan’s death when they became the same in the Force. Obi-Wan has had to close him off as he veils his Force-sensitivity in case he comes into contact with Dooku. Anakin misses feeling him there, but the mission will always have to come first.

“Ahsoka confirmed our findings. She removed Rex’s chip using the Force, completely against protocol,” Anakin says, pretending he gives a womprat’s ass about protocol.

“The Kaminoans are tampering with the clones before they’re even born,” Master Che says gravely. “Every single clone in our army has the capability to turn on the Jedi with the word of whoever’s in control.”

“This isn’t good. This isn’t good at all,” Master Fisto declares. 

“You said Ahsoka was able to pull it out using the Force?” Master Plo asks.

“Yes,” Anakin confirms.

“How long did it take?” 

“Just a few minutes.”

“That’s quite quicker than I was able to remove Tup’s,” Master Che remarks.

“Start removing them from your men,” his Master instructs. “Keep things quiet. We’ll have to do it in shifts. Your men first, then Ahsoka’s other Master’s. Then we’ll look into Ahsoka teaching more Jedi than you and the healers.”

“I think we can get the 501st done in just a few days. The 212th will take a lot longer.”

“Next should be Jaro Tapal. He has a ship with a small crew above Bracca. It’ll be quick and easy,” Master Gallia suggests.

“First, to Naboo, you must go. The Festival of Light, you must attend,” Grand Master Yoda reminds him. “Requested you and Ahsoka specifically, the Chancellor has.”

That’s still one week away. They’ll be able to at least get part of the 212th. Anakin’s going to insist they start with Cody. Obi-Wan’s right hand needs to be able to do his duties without potentially going berserk.

“The healers will still be working diligently while you’re away,” Master Che assures him. That’s a relief.

Who the hell could’ve paid off the Kaminoans to do this?

“I think it’s Dooku and the other Sith Lord. I think they bribed the Kaminoans to do this to wipe out the Jedi,” Anakin theorizes. “Who else would do such a thing?”

Shaak Ti’s holo nods. “I will look into things. Surreptitiously, of course.”

Good. As shitty as it is, he’s glad that things are being taken care of. He always felt like the clones were almost like slaves, created for the sole purpose of dying for the Republic. Knowing they have a chip in their heads that makes them slaves to whoever put them there makes him feel sick to his stomach. These men, his friends and brothers, are designed not only for combat, but to kill Jedi.

—

“You look terrible,” Anakin remarks, a coy grin on his face. Honestly, he’d kiss that ugly face if they weren’t in public. He’s missed Obi-Wan so, so much. They had one incredible afternoon together and then three weeks of a myriad of trials on their own.

Obi-Wan sighs. “Being a criminal's not easy work.”

“You looking forward to the transformation chamber?” Anakin asks, nudging Obi-Wan’s side with his elbow.

“I’m ready to stop seeing this face in the mirror. I’m going to have it stimulate my scalp so I’m not bald.”

“You don’t feel like rocking Ventress’s style?” Anakin teases.

“Mm, not quite,” he replies with a smile. It’s not Obi-Wan’s smile, but he’ll take it.

Anakin momentarily takes his hand and squeezes it three times before letting go. “I wish you could stay. What if we’ve been lulled into a false sense of security? The Chancellor wants just me as security, but I’m not sure that’s enough. No, I  _ am  _ sure it’s not enough.”

“I’ll talk to Mace, alright? I need to check one last thing anyway.”

“Thanks, Obi-Wan.”

—

“Well done, Master Kenobi. You are a worthy adversary. I cannot say the same about your young lover.”

There it is. Dooku just  _ had _ to make a remark on something that Anakin is so sensitive about.

Of course, this time Anakin  _ is  _ Obi-Wan’s lover. Now he has personal intimate knowledge of the sounds he makes, his loving kisses, his caressing touches, the weight of his body on top of Anakin’s own. He’s in love with Obi-Wan karking Kenobi and Obi-Wan karking Kenobi is in love with him.

He doesn’t let it get under his skin the way it would otherwise. He’s internalized such negative feelings about being attracted to a man that it’s going to take a  _ long  _ time to sort it out, but knowing that Obi-Wan reciprocates his feelings insulates him from Dooku’s jeer.

The fact that he made it in front of Padmé and the fucking  _ Chancellor _ chafes him, but he brushes that aside. They both know about the first kiss already. The guards likely don’t even know about the attachment taboo the Jedi have. They may very well think that it’s true. Having it poked fun at by someone who couldn’t have any idea if it’s true is somehow not as bad as having strangers think he’s  _ one of those. _

“He thinks he’s a comedian,” Obi-Wan remarks in Rako Hardeen’s voice.

Anakin silently thanks him for the deflection. He might kiss that ugly face as a thank you. Force, it really is a mindfuck to look at Obi-Wan and see a different face staring back at him and hear a different voice speaking to him, knowing the love of his life is the consciousness under there.

He can’t wait to see his face again.


	16. Darth Maul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan comes face-to-face with an old foe, Anakin wears his heart on his sleeve, and their Masters finally get the results of a bet.

_ There will be more innocent blood on your hands, Kenobi, unless you come here, face me. Come alone and if you do not, this world will burn. _

“I have to go,” Obi-Wan decides.

“Not alone you're not. We'll send a task force with you,” Mace insists.

“No, you see what he's capable of. He's a broken, unbalanced monster. I've dealt with him before. I can do it again.” He was  _ twelve _ when he cut him in half. He’s had twelve more years of training to hone his skills.

“I disagree. This is clearly a trap.”

“Against my better judgment, agree with Master Kenobi, I do. Finish what he started long ago, Obi-Wan must,” his former Master declares.

“I'm off to Raydonia.”

—

“Come on, Obi-Wan, you can’t go alone,” Anakin says. He pins Obi-Wan against the wall and engages him in a fierce kiss. “Let me go with you. Please.”

“I can’t, my love. I have to go it alone. He’ll kill the entire planet if I don’t come by myself.”

“It’s so dangerous. He’s a monster. He’s… I couldn’t live if I got you and lost you so soon,” Anakin admits quietly.

“I went undercover literally two hours after we were together for the first time. I could have died. I very nearly died on several occasions.”

“That’s different. None of the people you interacted with were unhinged lunatics with an axe to grind. Even Dooku isn’t a nutjob.”

Anakin’s right about that admittedly. Nobody in the galaxy could ever hate him the way the fallen Sith Lord hates him. He slaughtered innocents just to get his attention. This is probably a suicide mission.

“I’ll be back soon enough. I promise,” Obi-Wan says before giving his lover a soft kiss. “I will be fine on my own.”

“If you die, I’ll kill you,” Anakin vows with a playful grin. His next kiss is hungry and laden with desire. “One last time?”

“Raydonia—”

“Will still be there if you’re an hour late.”

“It has to be fast. Fifteen minutes.”

“Forty-five,” Anakin shoots back.

“Thirty,” Obi-Wan bargains.

“Deal.”

Anakin celebrates his victory by very quickly undressing his prize.

—

“Jedi. I have been waiting for you.”

“I'm not sure I've made your acquaintance,” Obi-Wan quips.

“I am surprised you could have forgotten me so easily after I killed your Master and you left me for dead on Naboo.”

“It  _ is _ you.” Obi-Wan still has the occasional nightmare of his face, the very reason he immediately knew who the holo was. He hates the mention of Qui-Gon’s death and he hates the fact that it is no longer avenged. He brushed with the dark side to kill this man, but he’s not even dead.

“You may have forgotten me, but I will never forget you. You cannot imagine the depths I would go to to stay alive, fueled by my singular hatred for you.”

“That may be so, but I defeated you before, and I can defeat you again.” He was twelve when he did it last time. He has a ton of new tricks up his sleeve since then. He can, and often does, best the Chosen One in one-on-one combat. 

“Don't be so certain.”

Ah. So Obi-Wan had to come alone, but the Sith can bring a buddy along. It’s the goliath of a Zabrak that massacred the outpost on Devaron. “You?”

Oh, Anakin is going to get on his case about this. He always gets on his case when he comes back with horrendous bruises and cracked bones. This is lightyears worse than his scuffle with Darts D’Nar. Darts D’Nar wasn’t trying to actually kill him. He chose to be thrown around then. He’s not choosing this time.

“Still as weak as ever,” the Sith growls before slapping him across the face. His pet monster throws him across the room again. “And they call you ‘Master.’”

As he struggles to catch his breath, Obi-Wan has to say, “You know, when I cut you in half, I should have aimed for your neck instead.”

Then the beast throws him across the room yet again. The Sith asks, “Anything more to say?”

“I like your new legs. They make you look taller.” Maybe this is the wrong time to mock his opponent, but he’s so used to it that it kind of just slips out. He’s so used to teasing targets that he can easily best, but this guy is a whole different beast. This man has revenge on the mind and rightfully so. Obi-Wan _ cut him in half. _

“I will make sure you stay awake long enough to feel every single cut,” he snarls, lightsaber to Obi-Wan’s throat as he squeezes his face. “Your death will be beyond excruciating. You will suffer as I have suffered!”

He chokes and struggles for breath and is dropped into blackness.

He awakes to a slap across the face. “Wake up!”

“Ventress?” He’s never been so happy to be assaulted by Ventress. The slap is like a kiss on the cheek compared to every other time she’s hit him.

“It looks like I'm here to rescue you.”

“When did you become the good guy?” Obi-Wan asks with a smirk.

“Don't insult me.” And thus begins their flirtatious repartee.

—

Obi-Wan is basically one giant bruise, covered head to toe in contusions. He definitely has broken bones, but he’s refusing to go to the healers. They need to focus on removing the chips, he says. He just looks so wrecked.

“You’re taking a bacta bath. Not a tank, just a bath. It doesn’t require the attention of a healer, just me. I cleared that with Master Che. And you don’t even need to be bashful about being naked around me like you used to because I’ve had sex with you more than twice.”

“Three whole times,” Obi-Wan intones.

“If you weren’t beat to shit, I’d suggest making it four. But you  _ are  _ beat to shit, so let’s go to the Halls of Healing to heal the broken bones you definitely have, love.”

Obi-Wan very clearly rolls his eyes and Anakin kisses the corner of his lips, the opposite side to where there’s a massive split. 

He puts his arm around Obi-Wan as they walk through the halls of the Jedi Temple to the Halls of Healing, bearing some of his weight so he doesn’t have to put any on his obviously broken ankle.

Anakin has to help him undress before getting into his bath. It’s a large tub, large enough for Obi-Wan to sink in to the neck. He sighs as the bacta sinks into his skin.

Anakin sits on the edge of the tub with a bacta packet in one hand, going ahead and treating the wounds on his face.

“You’re pretty skilled,” Anakin remarks offhandedly.

“In what regard?” Obi-Wan asks.

“Sex,” Anakin says in a hushed tone.

“Ah. This question.”

“I’ve only ever been with Padmé, so I went in blind, but  _ fuck _ , Obi-Wan, every time it gets better. Probably because I know what I’m doing now. I know what to expect and how to move and stuff. Basically I’m wondering where you learned it. I know you were with Vos once when you were drunk.”

“ _ Very  _ drunk. He and I both like to pretend it never happened.”

Anakin laughs and rolls his eyes as he smooths some bacta over Obi-Wan’s split lip. “Who else? Any other guys?”

“Several. Men whose names I hardly remember at a bar on the lower levels. After that first time you kissed me, I was with someone else.”

That stings. That  _ really  _ stings. “Any women?”

“No. I’ve felt too strongly about the women in my life and sex with attachment was too much to ask of me as a Jedi.”

“But you’re having sex with me.”

“I can’t ignore the fact that I’m in love with you and I desire you anymore.”

“You  _ desire  _ me?” Anakin asks, adopting Obi-Wan’s accent on the word  _ desire _ .

“Very much so. Not just sexually, not just romantically. I want to hold you while you sleep and I want to take your hand and, yes, I want to kiss you, but I want much more than it. I want to be with you at every moment. I want to sleep beside you, I want to wake up beside you. I want to kiss you good morning and goodnight.”

Anakin’s stomach is full of butterflies. “I was so afraid of the idea of being in love with you. On Tatooine, it’s a shameful thing to be in love with another man and I carry that with me every day. You have no idea how hard it is for me to be in love with you. I’m at war with myself, but you’re the side that always wins because it’s the side that feels good. I don’t get a reward for the anxiety and self-loathing, but being in love with you feels good. I’d been in so much denial, but the way I felt you in the Force while you were inside me snapped me out of that denial. I couldn’t deny my love anymore when we were making love. I know, it all sounds corny, but—”

“Anakin, it doesn’t. I was in denial too. I’ve been a Jedi since I was six months old. I don’t know anything else. I’ve  _ always _ been a Jedi, I’ve been a Master and a councilor since the start of the war, and none of those things are compatible with the feelings I have for you. I was so heavily in denial that I refused to acknowledge the fact that was staring me directly in the eyes. I used my status as a Jedi to deny myself a life with Satine.”

“But you would have left if she asked.”

“I know. I wasn’t lying before that if you left, I’d go with you even if you didn’t ask me to.”

“I don’t think I can leave,” Anakin admits. “I wanted to be a Jedi and I wanted to accomplish so much. I love you and I love the Jedi, even if the Code is kind of bullshit in some areas. Especially their stance on attachments, even Master Windu is kinda accepting of our attachment to a degree. If he found out we were sleeping together in a euphemistic way, that would be a different story.”

If Master Windu knew Anakin had left a trail of hickeys along Obi-Wan’s collarbone, he’d be a little more than grumpy. If he knew about the fast yet tender sex they had before Obi-Wan went to Raydonia, he’d be livid. He’s always been their greatest defender, but this crosses a line between attachment and serious marrow-deep love.

“I love you,” Anakin says, cradling Obi-Wan’s face in his hand, kissing his healing lips. “You will always be the most important thing to me. As much as my identity is rooted in being a Jedi, most of my identity is rooted in you and always has been. Well, since I was nine, so not  _ always,  _ but—”

“Shh, just kiss me again,” Obi-Wan requests.

Anakin grins as he puts his lips on Obi-Wan’s once again, almost forgetting they’re in the Jedi Temple.  _ Almost _ . A knock on the door reminds them that, yes, they are in an entire complex of people who would be pretty ticked off if they found them making out.

“Come in,” Obi-Wan says once Anakin is sitting on the side of the tub and  _ not  _ kissing him, just applying more bacta to his facial wounds.

“Hey, Masters. I’m taking a break from the 212th,” Ahsoka says. She sits in the chair Anakin had initially put himself in. “It’s exhausting to do so many of the men without a break.” Anakin has to suppress a snicker, but Obi-Wan seems unable.

“Phrasing, young one. A Jedi must always watch their phrasing.”

“Master! You know what I mean,” Ahsoka complains. “It’s just tiring pulling chips out of peoples’ heads. I’m up to 343 today. Haven’t slept in two days. With fifteen of us going as fast as we can, we should be setting out to do this to other legions soon.”

“You’ve let her stay up for two days?” Obi-Wan asks Anakin, his voice scolding.

“She insisted! I was helping and not sleeping until you got home. She was following my example. And get on my level, Snips, I got 826 yesterday. I’m down to just under a minute per man.”

“How many times do you say ‘I am one with the Force and the Force is with me’?” Ahsoka challenges.

“Don’t even have to say it anymore. I get the clone to repeat it a few times to lull them and slow down brain processing just in case something triggers so they don’t point a blaster at me. It’s my version of meditation. Repeat mantra twice and good to go. Unlike Obi-Wan who makes a big production out of meditation.”

“He literally sits in a corner. Huge production my ass,” Ahsoka remarks.

“Language, Ahsoka.”

“Ignore him. Swear to your heart’s content. Kriff. Fuck. Shit. Ass. Dick. Kark. Believe me, Obi-Wan swears a lot behind closed doors.” He’s brought back to the second time they had sex and Obi-Wan said  _ ‘fuck, Anakin’ _ when he came. The mere thought of that memory brings a tiny bit of heat to his cheeks. To know that  _ he  _ can make the Great Negotiator Obi-Wan Kenobi come undone is a personal triumph. An extremely personal triumph.

“Barriss is going to love hearing that my dads are once again differing wildly in their teaching styles. I got to teach her and Master Luminara how to do it. They’re headed to Master Tapal and Cal tomorrow. Barriss says she wants to be a healer once the war is over. I think she’d be good at it. She’s very kind and is only interested in helping rather than hurting. She admitted to me that she’s having doubts about the war and what all it’s cost the galaxy. I think it changed her to know what the war costs to the clones who are fighting it.”

“You call us your dads?” Anakin asks with a laugh. 

Ahsoka rolls her eyes. “Act indignant all you want, but you’re basically married. Definitely what the Togruta consider soulmates.”

Anakin ruffles Obi-Wan’s hair. “It was a great wedding. Artoo officiated.”

“You’re such a dork,” Ahsoka says, rolling her eyes. “I should get back to it. You can go back to making out.”

“W—what?” Anakin sputters. How did she know?

“I’m just teasing. Lighten up, Skyguy.”

—

When Obi-Wan returns from Florrum, he looks absolutely emotionally destroyed.

Anakin walks with him to the meeting with the Chancellor. He’s not a member of the Council or anything, but the Chancellor invited him. The Chancellor is always inviting him places.

“He wants revenge on me and Master Gallia died for it,” Obi-Wan responds when Anakin asks what’s the matter.

Hondo and his men helped Obi-Wan retrieve her body. She’s being prepped for her funeral while they have their meeting. Hondo being on Obi-Wan’s side is interesting, but he’ll be on anyone’s side if the opportunity strikes.

Anakin sits beside Obi-Wan, but not  _ too  _ close. Every move he makes nowadays is calculated as to not suggest that their relationship has taken a next step. The calculations are dicey because they were so close before that it’d be strange if they were immediately five feet apart.

“I think we have closure on this matter, Master Kenobi.”

“I disagree, Chancellor. Everything we've learned from this is that the Sith are persistent. They will not die,” Obi-Wan insists.

“I understand your reservations, Master Kenobi, but I am afraid we can no longer allow this personal matter of yours to be a Republic concern. It does not appear this Darth Maul is a direct threat to the Republic. We need to redirect your efforts to the cause at hand: Stopping Count Dooku and thus ending the Clone Wars,” the Chancellor says, completely ignoring Obi-Wan’s worries. Anakin was afraid of this outcome. Obi-Wan’s never going to rest easy knowing that man is out there, biding his time and letting the desire for vengeance fester.

“He was trying to build an army of pirates,” Obi-Wan points out.

“So let him. Let him play with the rabble. They're just petty crooks. It is of no relevance to the Senate compared to the Separatist threat.” Obi-Wan and Anakin share a look of disdain. “Good day, gentlemen.”

The Jedi walk into the antechamber outside the Chancellor’s office to have a brief, hushed conversation. 

“Something is stirring in the underworld. The crime families have had too much free rein since the Jedi have been distracted by the Clone War,” Obi-Wan says gravely. “I fear it is a fertile place for the Sith Lord to flourish, if he has indeed survived.”

“Hmm, right you may be, Obi-Wan, but heed the words of the Chancellor, we must. A personal matter, this is for you. Clouded your judgment, may be. In time, if he lives, reveal himself again, the Sith will. And then swiftly, we shall act.”

“Did anyone else catch that he knows the Sith Lord’s name?” Obi-Wan asks.

Anakin goes cold. How did he know?  _ How did he know?  _ Even the Jedi don’t know. He showed up and they defeated him and they never knew his name. Even now, this is the first any of them have heard the name Darth Maul.

“A great concern, this is for us. Talk about it in the council chambers, we must. Too many ears, there are in the Senate building.”

—

“I feel as if it’s been staring us in the face this entire time. It’s why the dark side has been so strong and clouds everything,” Anakin says, pacing the council chambers in a circle. “He has to be Dooku’s Master. They’re playing both sides. To what end? I don’t know.”

“I think we know why he was so interested in you,” Master Windu says. “He’s grooming you to be his Sith Apprentice someday once he disposes of Dooku.”

Anakin struggles not to gag. “I’m never joining him. I promise you that much. Force, this feels so violating. I’ve been alone in rooms with him since I was a kid. He’s been… Ugh.”

“He’ll never hurt you if he thinks there’s a chance you’ll join his side. Let him hold onto that hope. Pretend as he’s still your kindly grandfather figure,” Master Windu instructs.

“Express your frustration toward the Council. Act as if you’re disillusioned by the Jedi,” Obi-Wan suggests. “He’ll put his guard down if he thinks he can turn you.”

_ He knows about us _ , Anakin admits to him through the Force. Obi-Wan’s face pales and Anakin curses himself for trusting the old man.

“He’s tried to sow seeds of discord between us,” he says to Obi-Wan and the Council. “Like after the Festival of Light, he— he asked if the brilliant plan to disguise you as Rako Hardeen was my idea. I lied and told him I was in the dark, just like he was. I don’t know why I lied, maybe to make him feel better about being left unaware. He said it was interesting and something like ‘I was under the impression the Jedi always worked as a team’ as if I was being left out of the team. Dooku appeared before I could correct him.”

_ “This is extremely disturbing,” _ Shaak Ti says over holo.  _ “My investigation into the Kaminoans has yet to bear fruit, but knowing a Sith Lord created the GAR, the very body the clones are created for… The implications are not good.” _

Anakin feels ill. He feels like he’s going to throw up. He might keel over and die.

Karking hell, Palpatine has been doing this Anakin’s whole life. He tried to kill Padmé. He almost let Dooku kill Obi-Wan. He let Dooku take Anakin’s arm. He’s refused resources to hunt down the monster who wants to slaughter Obi-Wan. Palpatine wants Obi-Wan dead and he wants Anakin to lose faith in the Jedi.

Anakin has told him so much. The kiss. That’s why Dooku knew to prod that particular wound while they were tied together. Palpatine knew about his marriage, he knows about him being in love with Obi-Wan, he knows about so much. Thankfully Anakin had the tact not to mention that they’re having sex. 

He feels like bursting into tears. He actually does start to cry as he sits down on the floor like a child. Obi-Wan’s face indicates that he wants to sit down beside him and hold him, but he can’t. Instead he holds him in the Force, his signature wrapping warmly around Anakin’s.

_ “I know you saw him as a mentor. I can’t begin to understand what you’re feeling,” _ Master Plo says sympathetically via holo,  _ “but we need to look ahead. What do we do with this information?” _

“Ramp up removal of the clones’ chips. They’re ticking time bombs, ready to be triggered whenever Palpatine desires,” Master Fisto decides. “Anakin, I believe you are the most talented at it. You will teach all of us and we will take care of our own men.”

“If he realizes his slip-up, we’re toast,” Master Tiin says. “Removal is pertinent.”

“Like I suggested, subtly start introducing deception into your relationship with him,” Obi-Wan tells him. “Slowly, but surely suggest that you’re frustrated with the Council. I’m sure you’ve told him something you can build off of.” In the Force, Obi-Wan adds,  _ Tell him you’re frustrated that you have to hide your relationship with me. _

Anakin nods and sniffles. “Okay, that’s doable. We usually meet once or twice when I’m on Coruscant. I’ll set up a meeting tonight.”

“Capture Dooku, we must. No longer authorized, lethal force is,” Master Yoda declares. “Turn on his Master, we must make him.”

His mentor is the puppet master behind both sides of the war and they have to get evidence to get him out of office.

“Those in the Senate who oppose the war need to push their agendas harder. I’ll talk to Senator Amidala,” Obi-Wan says. “Nobody has the tenacity she does. He needs to be kept in check. I’m not going to tell her the full truth, but that the Jedi need her to keep pushing for peace.”

When the meeting breaks, Anakin is overcome again with anxiety. “Skywalker, I need to speak with you,” Master Windu says.

While the other councilors head out of the room, Obi-Wan included, Anakin sits down next to Master Windu.

“There’s something different about you, my young Padawan,” his Master says.

“I’m reeling from the news that my mentor is a Sith Lord.”

“That’s not what I mean. You and Kenobi have felt different in the Force recently. You’re not as distinct as you used to be. It’s as if a little bit of you has bled into him and vice versa. Not quite identical, but not quite different.”

Anakin’s stomach drops. “I don’t…”

“You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”

Anakin doesn’t see the point in lying. As much as it pains him, as much as he has to lose, Master Windu already knows. “I’m in love with him. Master Mundi was right all along.”

“And I’m guessing before he faked his death, you told him.”  _ Oh, Force, this is so embarrassing. _ As if finding out Palpatine is the Sith Lord wasn’t bad enough, now he’s admitting he’s having an affair with a councilor.

“Yes, I… Yes.”

“That is a very serious attachment. I assume you’ve told Palpatine.”

Anakin nods, but then shakes his head. “I mean, he knows we’re in love with each other, but not that we’ve done anything about it. I mean, that’s embarrassing. You didn’t even ask that. I told him, he told me back, we kissed, that’s it, I swear.” He’s normally such a good actor, but the emotions of the day have left him flustered and a little  _ too  _ open.

Master Windu rests a kind hand on Anakin’s shoulder. “As much as you should be, you’re not in trouble. You’ve always been attached to him. You’ve always loved him. It’s my own failing for being so permissive.”

“You didn’t tell the Council?”

“Master Yoda and I were the only ones to notice. You were our Padawans, after all. It’s a very subtle change if you’re not expecting it.”

“You were  _ expecting it? _ ” Anakin asks, horrified at the implication.

“Oh, we’ve had a running bet for the past decade or so.”

Anakin’s sure he’s scarlet from head to toe. This is so  _ embarrassing _ . “Am I really that transparent?”

“You wear your heart on your sleeve. If Qui-Gon was to be believed, you started hero-worshipping Obi-Wan the moment you laid eyes on him.”

“So that’s how you knew I’d fall in love with him someday?”

“No. I knew you’d fall in love with him after I found you in his bed for the first time. If he was willing to grant you that inch, he’d end up granting you lightyears. He’s compromised the morals that left him running after your disastrous first kiss, hasn’t he?”

“I think he wrestles with the guilt every day. I wrestle with it for a different reason.”

“Tatooine isn’t the most forgiving of cultures to anyone deemed abnormal,” Master Windu says, knowing immediately. Of course he knows about that. He’s done his due diligence on the place his Padawan came from.

“It’s kill or be killed. And people like me are often killed.”

“None of this changes the fact that you are the most effective team the Jedi Order has seen in a millennium. We are at war and we need generals like you two. This discussion is being tabled until the war is over. Be careful, though. Beware your heart.”

Anakin blanches at the phrase. It’s the same one the Father gave him as parting words. There’s no way Master Windu would’ve known that, but here he is giving the same warning. That can’t be a coincidence. The Force works in mysterious ways, as Master Yoda likes to say, and this is mysterious as kriff.

“I think Maul, Dooku, Palpatine, and Grievous are bigger threats right now than my heart,” Anakin insists.

“Fair point. Just keep an eye out. Stay wary. Attachments are dangerous, even something pure of heart like yours.”

Anakin nods. Of all the outcomes he’d imagined from Master Windu discovering his love for Obi-Wan, he’d never imagined acceptance.

—

“Conflicted, you are, my Padawan.” It’s not a question. It’s a statement of fact.

“Well, I mean, we just found out the Chancellor is the man we’ve been looking for,” he replies.

“Hmm. Not what I meant, that is. Your attachment to young Skywalker, deepened, it has.”

Obi-Wan looks around the two of them in the hallway and finds that they’re all alone. His mouth is dry and his hands start to shake. “What do you mean?”

“A crossroads, you have come to. Being in love with Skywalker or commitment to the Code, between which you must choose.”

Obi-Wan tries to swallow, tries to stop the dryness in his throat, but his mouth isn’t producing saliva anymore. This is the most anxiety-provoking thing anyone has ever said to him. He’s been so afraid of being found out. He’s been so careful, but apparently not careful enough. His first thought is denial, so that’s what he does.

“Always the Code. Anakin doesn’t mean as much to me as the Code does. We’re just good friends.”

Master Yoda chuckles at him. “A good liar, you are not. Some of his signature, he has left on you.”

Oh. There’s no talking his way out of this one. He can’t negotiate with the most powerful Jedi alive if he notices something’s amiss in the Force.

“If I’m being honest,” Obi-Wan begins as he follows Yoda into his quarters, “I’m in love with him. I fight with it every day. I’m not equipped to be anything but a Jedi and he… I’m in love and that’s so far away from the Code that it’s scary. I don’t know how to be anyone other than who I am and if I take away the Jedi or if I take away Anakin, I’m not going to be myself. I don’t know  _ who  _ I’d be. I can’t lose either and yet they’re incompatible.”

“Efficient, you are as a team. Unwise, it would be to split you up.”

Obi-Wan nods, still on edge. This is  _ terrifying _ . “So I don’t have to…”

“Revisit this later, we will. For now, focus on the Sith and the war, we must. Some tea, would you like?”

Obi-Wan nods again, dazed. This has gone a lot better than expected. Sure, they’ve merely put a pin in the issue, but they’re not immediately expelled. Obi-Wan briefly wonders if it’s because they need Anakin’s connection to the Chancellor, but this confrontation was clearly planned in advance if the fact that Anakin stayed behind with Mace is any indicator.

He doesn’t know if that’s the  _ most _ embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to him, but it’s up there.

“Does the entire Council know?”

Master Yoda shakes his head.  _ Thank the Force for small miracles. _ “Our Padawans, you are. Weeks ago, we noticed.”

At least Master Ki-Adi doesn’t know that he was right. Stupid supercilious fuck.

—

“I can’t believe that sleemo! _ ” _ Ahsoka exclaims as she paces back and forth. “He’s supposed to be the good guy, the leader of the Republic, but he’s been playing both sides of the war? That is such bantha shit!”

“You can’t tell a single soul. Not even Barriss,” Obi-Wan tells her.

She looks between her Masters, her  _ dads _ , and says, “I’m great at keeping secrets. I haven’t told anyone you’re married.”

Ahsoka wishes she could frame Obi-Wan’s face. It’s the perfect mix of shock, embarrassment, and bewilderment. Anakin just looks at his shoes like a scolded child.

“Don’t worry, it’s not the training bond. Rex and I saw you kissing in an alcove a few weeks ago. Cody’s suspected it since the first time he found you in bed together, but I think it’s a bit more recent than that. Probably less than three months. I’d say slightly before you faked your death, which I still refuse to forgive you for.”

“I knew about it beforehand and I still have intrusive thoughts about his dead body in my arms,” Anakin says.

“We’re not married,” Obi-Wan insists once that look disappears from his face. “We’re in love, but we aren’t married.”

She beams.  _ They’re in love _ . She knew it. “When did you realize that?”

“Just a few months ago,” Anakin admits. “The afternoon before he faked his death.”

She is victorious. Ahsoka Tano is a genius, at least when it comes to her two Masters.

“Don’t tell Cody. I’d never hear the end of it,” Obi-Wan says with a sigh.

“Don’t tell anyone, actually,” Anakin decides. “It’s not something we should be putting out there. It’s forbidden by the Code and the less people know, the better.”

“It’s ‘fewer,’ darling,” Obi-Wan says.

“I could always speak Huttese if my Basic isn’t good enough for you.”

They  _ should  _ be married. They’ve always bickered like an old married couple. And they’re  _ soulmates. _ Ahsoka should talk to Padmé about wedding plans. She’s great at party planning.

“Back on topic, Darth Maul and his brother and the current Master and Apprentice are our top priorities. Grievous is still a concern, but my focus will be on the Sith,” Obi-Wan tells her.

“You always get the good assignments from the Council,” Anakin grumbles.

“Being a councilor has its perks.”

“One would assume having an affair with a councilor would also have its perks, but Anakin is always sent to do boring stuff and I have to go with him,” Ahsoka complains. “You never let me go with you on the really dangerous ones.”

“Neither does Anakin. We just want to keep you safe,” Obi-Wan says. “It’s not pretty when a Master loses their Padawan. I’ve heard it’s like losing a limb and Anakin has lost enough of those for all of us.”

“Have I told you about the nightmare where you cut off the rest of my limbs and leave me to burn in lava?” Anakin asks.

Obi-Wan raises a brow and shakes his head. “You haven’t, love.”

“Guess it’s one dream I don’t have to worry about coming true.”

“Guess not,” Ahsoka says, sitting down between them. They both instinctually put an arm around her, the very picture of a perfect family.

—

“You summoned me, Masters?” Obi-Wan asks as he strides into the room where Masters Yoda and Ki-Adi are waiting.

A holo of Satine pops up and she speaks in a hurried and frightened tone.  _ This is a message for Obi-Wan Kenobi. I've lost Mandalore. My people have been massacred, and Almec is now the prime minister. I can't explain everything now, but Almec has the support of the crime families. Obi-Wan, I need your help. _ The holo ends with three enemies landing around her.

“Your thoughts on this, Master Kenobi?” his Master prompts.

“Satine has been at odds with the Death Watch for years. And according to a report from Padawan Tano, they're no longer in league with the Separatists. If there was a takeover on Mandalore, it was most likely an independent act caused by the Death Watch alone,” Obi-Wan suggests.

“Without involvement from the Separatists, this is an internal affair for the Mandalorians. I'm afraid we cannot help,” Master Ki-Adi proclaims.  _ Fuck you, dude. _

“We cannot just hand Mandalore over to these crime families and let Satine become a martyr,” Obi-Wan insists indignantly. 

“I'm afraid her decision to keep Mandalore neutral makes this situation difficult,” Ki-Adi adds. Obi-Wan wants to punch the smug Cerean right between the eyes.

“Understand your feelings, I do, Obi-Wan. But to take action, support from the Republic Senate, we will need,” Master Yoda says sadly.

“You know what the Senate will decide. They will not send aid to a neutral system,” Obi-Wan says, still not defeated. He can do something about this. There’s  _ always  _ something he can do.

“At this time, nothing more, can we do.”

Obi-Wan frowns, dismayed. If he has to, he’ll go alone.

—

“You have to let me come with you,” Anakin insists as Obi-Wan packs a light bag of rations and equipment.

“You have your own orders, Anakin. I can’t let you deviate them to help me rescue a friend.”

“I don’t want to lose you to a squad of renegade Mandalorians who’re intent to capture or kill Satine. I love you, Obi-Wan, way too much to let you go alone.”

“If you leave your own mission to join me, you’ll only give reason to separate us once the war is over.”

Anakin frowns. “I can’t let that happen.” He clears his throat and fumbles around in his pocket. “I intended to take you on a nice walk through the Temple Gardens by the flame roses, but I guess now will have to do.”

“For what?”

Anakin produces a piece of jewelry from his pocket, a small pendant on a long, beaded silver chain. “I had my mom send some japor ivory wood. I carved it.”

“Like the one you made Padmé when you were a child,” Obi-Wan realizes.

Anakin nods. “This one is special. It’s a locket.” He opens it and inside is a small glowing blue crystal. “I still had half of the kyber crystal after my lightsaber was broken on Geonosis. I didn’t know what to do with it, but I knew as soon as you kissed me. My lightsaber is my life, but I can’t give mine to you for obvious reasons. The closest I can do is part of the old one.”

Obi-Wan’s eyes are filled with tears and his throat feels achy and dry. “Anakin, I—”

“Shh, no. I’m not finished,” Anakin says, his hand wrapping around Obi-Wan’s wrist. “I want you to know that I am indisputably yours. I know we can’t exactly get married, but this is close enough for me. You, Obi-Wan Kenobi, are the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.” He puts the chain over Obi-Wan’s head and the pendant comes to rest near his heart. He can feel the broken crystal singing in the Force.

“Anakin, I love you too. I’m sorry I don’t have a grand romantic gesture planned, but this is everything to me.” He kisses his lover, gentle and sweet. “I will work on making it up to you.”

“You don’t have to. Your love is all I need.” Anakin takes both of Obi-Wan’s hands and squeezes them three times. “I know you still love her. It’s how I’ll always love Padmé. But I know you’ll come home to me.”

“You’re done trying to talk me into letting you come with me?”

“You’ve always come back, even when you died. You should take the  _ Twilight. _ ”

“That bucket of bolts?”

“It’s perfectly fine!” Anakin insists.

Obi-Wan rolls his eyes and allows Anakin to engage him in a warm and affectionate kiss. He’s never felt so in love. He’s going to spend the rest of his life with this man.

—

Anakin meets him in the hangar, eager to greet his lover, but comes face-to-face with a haunted man.

“Obi-Wan, what happened?” he asks, worry in his voice and his heart.

Obi-Wan just rests his forehead against Anakin’s and allows him to peer into a memory.

_ I never planned on killing you. But I will make you share my pain, Kenobi. _

_ Remember, my dear Obi-Wan… I've loved you always. I always will. _

Oh, Force, this is worse than he ever could have imagined. Maul murdered Satine and Obi-Wan had to watch it all happen.

“Come with me. I’ll make you some tea and—”

“No. I have to tell the Council what I saw. I couldn’t save her, but this is the least I could do.”

Anakin wants to cry for him because he’s too proud to cry for himself. He wants to kill Maul for hurting his Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan pulls away from Anakin’s touch and leaves without a word. His heart is broken and Anakin’s breaks on his behalf.

Maul has to die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've always been a little curious as to how the Jedi knew Maul's name. He kinda just showed up and then got defeated before he could say anything. idk maybe it's in a legends thing I missed, but let's just go with the canon on this and say nobody knew his name.


	17. Diplomacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan meets with a friend, Anakin meets with an enemy, they have their honeymoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had some severe writer's block with this one and my friend said the cure was to "write smut you coward" so I did and I hated every second! There will be more plot-heavy advancement in the next one (hopefully)

Padmé always looks so elegant and extravagant, but wears it well enough as if she just threw on what she was wearing effortlessly. She’s beautiful and Obi-Wan understands entirely how Anakin fell in love with her. She smiles when she sees him, greeting him with a kiss on the cheek.

“You’re wearing it,” she says happily.

“Hm?” he asks, tilting his head in confusion.

“The pendant he made you. He asked me what I thought of it before he gave it to you.”

Obi-Wan looks down at his chest and realizes that he hasn’t tucked it in the way he usually does. They’re not meant to have possessions, after all.

“You wear it well,” Padmé tells him with a smile. “Now, what do I owe the pleasure of seeing my second-favorite Jedi in my office?”

Obi-Wan chuckles and shakes his head. He hadn’t realized she likes him so much. Considering what happened with Anakin and the implosion of their marriage, it’s almost a little shocking. “Just checking in on the bill Bail introduced. The one to reduce clone production by twenty-percent.”

“It’s hard to get people on board,” she admits. “It’s only twenty-percent, but the Kaminoans are acting like it’s shutting down production entirely. It’s not even ‘production’ because they’re not droids. They’re creating new lives that have value, but they’re being used as cannon fodder.”

Obi-Wan takes a deep breath before he says what he  _ really  _ came here to say. “You’re the first one outside of the clones and the Jedi to know this, but they are born with a chip in their head that, when triggered, makes them kill Jedi on sight. They are designed to turn on their generals, commanders, and friends at the Sith’s discretion.” He doesn’t mention the specific Sith Lord out of an abundance of caution, though he trusts Padmé with his life. The Council has allowed him to share this information with her and her alone and he’s not going to give more information than he is allowed to give.

Padmé frowns, one of the few frowns he’s ever seen on her delicate features. It’s not sadness. It’s shock and horror, but she’s so good at concealing her emotions that he wouldn’t know if he couldn’t read her through the Force. “You’re not joking, are you?”

“I believe you know me well enough to know I’d never joke about something so serious.”

She nods, the curls in her hair springing with the movement. “Anakin says you avoid levity like the plague. Of course he’s being dramatic—”

“He  _ is  _ Anakin,” he interjects. They share a smile as the dramatics of the whirlwind that claimed both their hearts comes to the forefront of their minds.

“See? He’s definitely being dramatic. That was deadpan, but was certainly levity. There absolutely wasn’t in what you were saying about the clones.”

“We’ve found a way to remove them using the Force, just resulting in a chip-sized nick in the side of their heads. It’s not ideal and it takes a steady hand, but it’s been working. It’s really scary, Padmé. It’s downright frightening. We need to cut down clone production if we’re to get this under control. Otherwise the Sith are going to be one order away from obliterating us.”

“I will push Bail’s bill harder in the Senate,” she vows before changing the subject entirely. “Let’s talk about you. You’re throwing yourself into your work. Have you grieved yet? I know you missed the memorial.”

“This war is more important than my feelings,” he says stiffly. He hadn’t expected this from her. He’d expected to talk about the clones, not Satine.

“You need to grieve, Obi-Wan. I know Satine’s dying words were professing her love for you and I’m certain that was once upon a time reciprocated.” Anakin must’ve told her what Satine’s last words were. She and Satine were good friends so it shouldn’t surprise him that Anakin would’ve tried to comfort her over it.

“I’ll always love her,” he admits sadly. “I could never give myself to her because my duty as a Jedi had to come first. I feel tremendous sorrow that I was never able to make that concession for her as easily as I have for Anakin.”

Padmé takes Obi-Wan’s hand. Nobody other than Anakin really holds his hand and Anakin’s hands are calloused by years of lightsaber handling. Padmé’s hand is soft and smooth in comparison. “He has just as much to lose as you do. You know it’s worth investing in because he has to make the same sacrifice. It wasn’t like that with us either. Ani was taking on more risk to be with me than I was to be with him and I felt guilty for it. I’ll always love him too, but I love seeing him so happy. He’s so in love with you, Obi-Wan. I’m surprised he isn’t nagging you about grieving.”

“Oh, he is. Ahsoka is the worst, but she and Cody and Anakin are constantly needling me. Cody keeps a chart of my emotional and physical well-being and apparently his latest calculations have me in a danger zone.”

“There’s no levity again. He seriously does that? You’re lucky to have such a dedicated number-two.” He really is. As irritating as Cody’s mother hen routine can be at times, he’s very lucky to have someone so committed to making sure he’s okay.

“I’ve never seen the chart myself, but if Rex is to be believed, there is a column for whether or not he finds Anakin in my bunk. He’s astute, so I’m fairly certain he’s figured out that we’re a little bit more together recently, but he’s also had that column in there since the beginning.”

“I’m sure he did,” Padmé remarks. “Anakin charmed his way into your bed when you were still children, right?”

“Charmed? Hardly. Wore me down when I was already exhausted from lack of sleep due to nightmares about slaying a Sith Lord? Absolutely. Well, it turns out I didn’t slay him, did I? I’m terrified he’ll go after Anakin or Ahsoka next.”

“Anakin is the Chosen One, right? He could take on a guy who got bested by a twelve-year-old. Ahsoka has been trained by the two most talented Jedi in the Order.”

“You’re too kind. I’d venture to say our Masters are the two most talented Jedi in the Order.”

“Ani says they’re keeping the discussion of whether or not to expel you until the war is over.”

“Master Windu knew it’d happen eventually. He sees shatterpoints in the Force, the things that’ll make someone crack if the right force is applied. Apparently I shattered Anakin in several places. My Master, Master Yoda has premonitions. It’s not surprising he’d notice something about his Padawan.” Obi-Wan takes a breath. “Can I be perfectly candid with you?”

“Absolutely.”

“If I have to choose between my love for Anakin or my duty as a Jedi, I’m not sure which I’ll choose.”

“Luckily for you, I  _ am _ sure. You’ll always choose Anakin,” she says, placing her hand over the pendant.

Between the weight of his lightsaber on his hip and the charm beneath her palm, he realizes that the smaller one outweighs the larger. She’s right. It will always be Anakin.

—

Obi-Wan gazes fondly at the man in his kitchen, pieces of the caf maker strewn about. There is no small appliance he won’t take apart and rebuild in his image.

“I feel your eyes on me,” Anakin says, pointing at him with a screwdriver, but not looking away from his tinkering.

“I’m simply beholding the love of my life,” Obi-Wan says, leaning against the counter beside him. “Don’t even worry about it. Continue your tinkering.”

Anakin puts down his tools and takes Obi-Wan’s face in his hands. “You’re being weird,” he tells him before bringing their lips together. “What is it?”

“I love you more than I love being a Jedi.”

“Didn’t we already agree we were going to always love each other?” Anakin asks with a scrutinizing expression.

“I always assumed you’d somehow charm the Council into allowing us to be together and remain as Jedi. It’s all I’ve ever known and I’m afraid to lose it, but I don’t care if we’re stripped of our lightsabers and have to live out the rest of our lives as civilians. I love you that much.”

Anakin smiles and goes in for another kiss. “I love you that much too. If we’re civilians, we can actually get married. I mean, if that’s what you’d want.”

Obi-Wan nervously smiles as his heart flutters. “That’s absolutely what I’d want.”

“I know it’s a bit premature, but do you want to have our honeymoon now?” Anakin asks playfully. 

Obi-Wan absolutely does, wrapping his arms around Anakin’s middle and carrying him off to bed, half-broken caf machine be damned.

Sometimes the control freak in Anakin comes out and insists he be on top. It’s what comes out when they’re finally undressed, Anakin putting his hand on Obi-Wan’s chest and keeping him down. He proposed the mock honeymoon, so of course he’s taking control.

While Obi-Wan luxuriates against soft sheets, Anakin retrieves the tube of bacta gel and dispenses some onto his own fingers. The look on his face as he works himself open is something Obi-Wan files into his favorite things in his mind. The way his mouth hangs open in pleasure, the way his head tips back, exposing the long column of his neck, his golden curls hitting his shoulders. He’s beautiful. He’s always beautiful, but there’s something so personal and erotic about the way he looks right then that makes it a different kind of beautiful. It’s not something anyone else gets to behold.

A different look of pleasure melts over his features once he finds the deep and slow rhythm on Obi-Wan’s cock that he wants. They’re sharing their pleasure now, sharing gasps and moans between them in a hot gap where a kiss would be.

_ “Ah, oh, Obi-Wan.” _

_ “Oh, Anakin.” _

How did they get here? Several years ago, he  _ never  _ would have thought that Anakin Skywalker would be riding his dick and moaning his name, but here they are. They’re in love and as close to marriage as two Jedi on thin ice could be. Their bond is wide open, concealing absolutely nothing as it floods with ecstasy and intense euphoria.

_ “Ah, fuck, Obi-Wan—” _

Anakin’s movements start to get a little shaky and he has trouble moving without quivering, so Obi-Wan flips them over and fucks him in that same slow and deep tempo. Obi-Wan steals a ravenous kiss from Anakin, who is whimpering and moaning and squirming. With every thrust an  _ ah _ escapes Anakin’s throat until that vowel sound is the only noise he makes.

Anakin comes first, arms wrapped around Obi-Wan’s neck and kissing him hard. He grabs Obi-Wan by the wrist in the Force and brings him tumbling into bliss alongside him.

“Fuck,” Anakin says with a laugh once they untangle, “that was…”

Obi-Wan laughs too. “Indeed, it was.”

“I had hoped to have the caf maker put back together before I go visit a Sith Lord.”

Obi-Wan grimaces. “You’re seeing him today?”

“Mhm. I think we have some good material. I’m telling him I want to marry you. I’m bending the truth and saying that our Masters know and want to split us up romantically speaking, not that they’re holding off judgment temporarily.”

“That will give him a foothold to draw you away from the Jedi. I’m sure the Sith would allow marriage up until the point he disposes of me and blames the Jedi for it. I wonder how he’s planning to kill me.”

Anakin rolls his eyes. “I’d rather not think about that. Shower with me?”

“Of course.”

—

Anakin hates being in the same room as Palpatine. He keeps up high and tight shields to keep him out, concealing the fact that he knows, but he  _ does _ know and it terrifies him. Palpatine would never do anything to hurt him, not  _ yet _ , not ‘til it’s time to break him and so the fear is anticipatory.

“Anakin and Obi-Wan. Kenobi and Skywalker. You’re the most famous Jedi in the galaxy. You do know that, right? Never one without the other. Oh, the HoloNet would go wild if they knew.”

Anakin feels a shiver at the implication.  _ What if everyone knew?  _ It’s contained now. It’s just Padmé and their Masters and Palpatine, who has probably told Dooku. Can’t forget Ahsoka and Rex and probably Cody. Is it considered an open secret? He shudders to think. Anakin loves Obi-Wan, he so deeply and achingly loves him, but that fear still lingers in the back of his mind.

“I’m sure the Council would have no choice to keep you both on and together if they were to find out. There would be outrage throughout the galaxy if their two stars were separated. Never one without the other,” Palpatine repeats, holding a glass of brandy out.

“Thing is, Yoda and Windu both know,” Anakin says as he accepts the drink being offered. It feels strange to forego the title Master before both of their names, but he must act aloof. “They want us to separate our romantic lives effective immediately and our Jedi lives as soon as the war is up.”

“Do you plan on making that sacrifice?”

“I asked him to marry me. That ought to tell you what I think about that.”

“You’ve jumped from one marriage to another rather quickly.”

“When you know, you know. I know I’m in love with him and I want to write it down on a piece of paper.”

“I’ll offer to you my summer home in the lake country of Naboo as a location.”

Anakin thinks about it, but frowns and shakes his head. It’s not  _ just _ that he doesn’t want Palpatine anywhere near his vows to Obi-Wan. “I’ve already been married in Naboo’s lake country before.”

“Ah. Then we must procure a new locale. Have you thought of going to your mother’s on Tatooine?”

“Oh, no. She doesn’t know.” Well, that’s not entirely true. She knew that his marriage with Padmé imploded because he kissed Obi-Wan. She _ definitely  _ doesn’t know they’re sleeping together. “Only a few people know. I haven’t seen her and I wouldn’t trust the information to a holo being monitored by the Jedi.” That  _ is  _ true. His mother loves Obi-Wan (unsurprisingly after he saved her life) and would love to hear that Anakin has stopped being a lovelorn fool and is just a normal fool now. “I don’t exactly like Tatooine either. Too many bad memories and even more sand.”

“I would choose a destination sooner rather than later, my boy. In war, it’s hard to know how much time you have left with those you love. It would be a cruel twist of fate if something were to fell either of you before you had a chance to wed.”

_ I wonder how he’s planning to kill me.  _ It’ll probably be some sort of ‘accident’ involving Grievous or Dooku. Anakin would have to channel the dark side to exact revenge for the murder of his lover, now wouldn’t he?

How far would Anakin go to sell this ruse? He never nailed that down with the Council. They don’t want Dooku dead, but what if Anakin  _ had  _ to kill him in order to catch Palpatine in the act? What if he really did need to go to the dark side? He remembers the horror in Obi-Wan’s face as he beheld his golden eyes on Mortis. He can’t do that to him again. Would it even matter if he was already gone? No. He couldn’t become what Obi-Wan was horrified to see. Even if it meant catching Palpatine with his pants down, he couldn’t. 

On the other hand, he’s looked in the mirror when he’s thinking about Maul too hard and he swears he sees his eyes turn green as yellow creeps in. He absolutely wants to murder Maul, though the Council would prefer to take him alive for information on Palpatine. Maul hurt Obi-Wan too badly in too many different ways. Obi-Wan would never turn, even if Maul was concerned. Obi-Wan wouldn’t, so Anakin shouldn’t.

“As much as I want it, I can’t. I asked him, but we’re not able to. The Jedi would send me out to the Unknown Regions. They wouldn’t ever do it to Obi-Wan because  _ he  _ is on the Council. Force, I’m still envious of that.” 

He’s not. He’s really not. He can’t even imagine how tedious Council meetings are in the middle of a war. No, he needs to focus on what’s happening in the field. That bigger picture stuff is so much easier for Obi-Wan. It’s why he’s in charge of about half of the Jedi on the frontlines. 

“Perhaps they’ll see about making a Master of you soon. You said Padawan Tano is progressing well, yes?”

“Oh, she’s great.” It’s easy to talk about being proud of Ahsoka, but he hates the bone-chilling expression on Palpatine’s face as he does. If he’s thinking of hurting her the way he so obviously thinks of hurting Obi-Wan, Anakin swears he’ll kill him. He’ll never see the inside of a cell if Ahsoka is hurt.

It would be so easy to just kill him right here and now. He’d probably face execution for treason, but at least he’d bring balance to the Force. That’s his burden, isn’t it?

No. He has to make nice with a genocidal maniac until they can prove what they know to be true.

Force help him, this is difficult.


	18. Empty Chairs at Empty Tables

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Palpatine tries to get rid of Ahsoka, Master Mundi gets on everyone's nerves.

“What’s the deal?” Ahsoka asks, falling into step beside the younger of her two Masters.

“You and I are going to Cato Neimoidia,” he says. “Obi-Wan is going with Aayla, Tiplee, and Master Windu to intercept Maul and Dooku.”

“So, once again, he gets the fun assignment and we get shafted.”

Anakin frowns and shakes his head. “I don’t think it’s  _ fun _ , Snips. It’s a war.”

“I bet it kills you a little that you can’t go with him.”

The way Anakin looks at his feet tells Ahsoka she’s right on the money. “He’s got three other great Jedi with him.”

“He lost Satine to Maul. The Jedi lost Master Gallia to Maul. He almost lost me to Dooku. The Jedi have lost countless men and women to the Separatists under Dooku. Both of them together… I don’t want to lose him.”

“Do you need  _ alone time _ with him before he goes?” she asks, raising a brow marking and elbowing him in the side.

Anakin’s face turns bright red and Ahsoka feels victorious. She doesn’t have too many things to look forward to, having war instead of childhood, so embarrassing her dads is one of her favorite things in the galaxy. “ _ Snips. _ ”

“Who am I kidding? You’re going to look into his eyes for hours on end and try to memorize his face in case it’s the last time you’ll ever see it.”

She knows she’s got him. That’s  _ exactly _ what he’s planning on doing. It’s not the first time he’s boxed Obi-Wan in to look at him hard for a long time. Even before they started in with romance, they did it all the damn time. She used to sneak around corners to see if they’d kiss once she was out of view. That’s how she and Rex found out about them — they were splitting up for a mission and Anakin dragged Obi-Wan in an alcove to look at him and, apparently, kiss him.

It’s strange, but it’s also kinda cute. They’re a strange, but cute couple. Total opposites from the outside, but they make sense if you know them both well enough. There’s a reason they’ve been friends for so long.

“We won’t have time for any of that. He’s leaving as soon as the Council adjourns. You and I are leaving right now.”

“You don’t even get to kiss him goodbye?” she asks with a frown.

“We said our goodbyes in the Force before I left the room.”

“He’s going to be okay. I know it,” Ahsoka decides as she links her arm with her Master’s. Someone needs to wipe the sad expression off of his face and it looks like it’s going to have to be her.

“It might be a good thing I’m not going with them. If I saw Maul, I don’t think I’d be able to keep from killing him. Not after all he’s done. Not after all he’s done to Obi-Wan.”

“Let’s focus on Cato Neimoidia. You can tell me about that time you saved Obi-Wan’s life there.”

That perks him up a bit. As much as Ahsoka loves to embarrass her Masters, Anakin and Obi-Wan love to tell embarrassing stories about each other. They have  _ plenty _ from over a decade together.

—

“I can still hear the screams,” Anakin says somberly.

“Do you believe what they said, Master, that a Jedi could do this?”

“Not every Jedi agrees with this war, Ahsoka. There are many political idealists among us.” Even Obi-Wan is no stranger to the ‘we’re meant to be peacekeepers’ argument when he’s knocked back a few.

“But a traitor?” Ahsoka asks. His dear Padawan always tries to see the good in everyone. She hasn’t felt doubtful over her role in the Order yet, not the way Anakin has.

“I'm afraid one can eventually become the other. Remember Count Dooku and General Krell. That's how they started, too.” 

General Krell is a sore spot for them ever since they hugged Rex as he shed tears for his fallen brothers. Ahsoka in particular held him for a good hour or two as he wept. He was business as usual the next morning, but Anakin will never forget the soft, childlike tone in his voice when he asked if he could come into Anakin’s quarters.

“Only analysis and investigation will prove what is true or not.”

“Who are you?” Anakin asks, only the slightest bit startled.

“I am Russo-ISC, Crime Scene Analyzer for the Jedi. I will be working with you and your Padawan on this case. I was assigned by Master Windu.”

“Okay, Russo, you and Ahsoka should begin the interviews,” Anakin says by way of delegation.

“I would rather interview the witnesses alone,” Russo informs him.

“Why?”

“Many of the wounded have heard rumors a Jedi was behind this explosion. There will be ill will toward you.”

“I think you're overexaggerating, Russo. There were Jedi killed in that blast along with maintenance crew and clones. Take Ahsoka with you. Let me know if you find anything.”

“I will, Master,” Ahsoka assures him.

He waits until her footsteps fade before sinking down to the ground and letting out a sob. He covers his mouth and he screams until his throat is raw. 

Cody caught him when they first arrived and told him the grave details. He didn’t tell Ahsoka. She wouldn’t be able to compartmentalize if she’d heard Obi-Wan was mere moments from dying in the blast, that they  _ just  _ made it out of the hangar with Master Tiplar’s body before the explosion. He didn’t tell her that Master Windu had to go to the healer because of a ruptured eardrum or that Cody lost every man still on the shuttle. 

She doesn’t need to know that yet. Obi-Wan will tell her when she interviews him. He feels like a coward for putting the burden of that news on Obi-Wan, but Cody said Obi-Wan was willing to be the one to do it.

It almost didn’t matter that Maul didn’t kill him.  _ It almost didn’t matter. _

Obi-Wan’s had some close calls before, but never at home. Never in the one place he’s supposed to be safe.

—

Obi-Wan and Shaak Ti aren’t on Coruscant anymore, their chairs in the Council Chambers occupied by holograms. Anakin wishes Obi-Wan were here in the flesh so they could talk in the Force. They didn’t even cross paths while he and Ahsoka were investigating. As a victim himself, Ahsoka was the one in charge of talking to him. Ahsoka passed along Obi-Wan’s hellos and the unspoken ‘I love you’ that she saw in his eyes, but Anakin didn’t get to see him outside the meeting.

“It is imperative that the truth be found soon. There are whispers the Senate will have a meeting to decide whether the military police will need to become involved in the investigation,” Anakin’s Master says.

“They can't do that,” Ahsoka insists.

“Clones died in that explosion, maintenance clones working on the gunships as well as civilians. The Senate tends to take notice of these things no matter where they happen.”

The last thing Anakin wants is the Senate getting involved. This investigation is hard enough without bureaucracy (or Force forbid  _ Palpatine) _ getting in the way. Kriff, he wishes Obi-Wan were here. He’s stressed and he needs Obi-Wan’s clever hands to work out the knot of tension building behind the shoulder he nearly separated a few weeks back.

He’s so stressed that he jumps at the sound of his comlink. It’s Russo, thank kark.

_ “Master Skywalker, we have found Jackar.” _

“Lock down all exits so he can't escape.”

It goes without saying that this conversation is being tabled for later. He can only hope the Council can keep the politicians at bay.

—

Obi-Wan had to leave the memorial early to leave Coruscant. He and Anakin are like ships passing in the night. Apart from holding each other in the Force while brushing their hands together during the service, they’ve had no personal contact. It’s wearing on Anakin. It’s a good thing Rex doesn’t keep the same charts as Cody because it would just read SUFFERING in bold red letters.

All he can do in the war room is stare at the holo of Obi-Wan’s face, as handsome as ever, even in all blue. He barely pays attention to the briefing because he’s just so taken with his lover. His unofficial husband.  _ His. _ Of all the people in the galaxy, Obi-Wan chose to give his heart to  _ Anakin _ . He’ll never understand why such a brilliant, brave, handsome, kind person would want to be his, but he’s not one to look a gift orbak in the mouth.

He misses him so badly.

—

Anakin has never felt so angry in his life. This isn’t fair, it isn’t true, it’s just not.

“I said my Padawan is in there. Now, step aside.”

“General Skywalker, Admiral Tarkin has ordered that no one be allowed in there.”

“I don't care what she's accused of. Let me in,” he snarls. Two guards come up behind him with weapons at the ready. Oh. So that’s how it’s going to be.

“Sorry, sir. The admiral's orders stand. This is now a military operation and under his jurisdiction.”

There’s no way Ahsoka could’ve done this. She wasn’t even on the planet. The blast was so close to killing her other Master and Anakin’s Master and one of her closest clone friends. She couldn’t kill anyone who wasn’t trying to kill her first. It’s just not in her nature.

Kark, he wishes Obi-Wan were here. He’s a smooth talker, he’d be able to get them in to see her. She’s all alone and confused and probably scared. She  _ needs  _ him. There has to be something he can do.

—

“Ahsoka, what are you doing?”

She looks at Anakin, pain and fear etched onto her face. “You didn't even try to come and help me,” she accuses.

“They wouldn't let me in to talk to you.”

“You could have if you tried.”

“How would that look, Ahsoka, huh? Forcing my way in would've made you look even more guilty,” he retorts. He shouldn’t be arguing with her because surely that’s just frightening her more. It’s out of character.

“I'm not guilty!” she insists, tears in her eyes.

“Then we have to prove you're innocent. The only way we can do that is by going back,” he says, appealing to reason.

“I don't know who to trust.”

“Listen, I would never let anyone hurt you, Ahsoka,  _ never _ . But you need to come back and make your case to the Council. They’ll listen. Obi-Wan will  _ make them  _ listen.”

“No. I'm not going to take the fall for something I didn't do!”

“I am ordering you to put down your lightsaber and come with me now!” he commands, knowing he sounds like a tyrant as he does. “Trust me.”

“I do trust you, but you know as well as I do that no one else will believe me. Anakin,  _ you _ have to trust  _ me _ now.”

“Ahsoka, I do trust you.”

“I know you do. Wish me luck.”

With that, Ahsoka leaps down into the city below, landing upon a transport. They can’t follow her. He’ll just have to restart the search. He’s not even sure he wants to catch her.

Anakin knows she didn’t do it. He doesn’t know who _did_ do it, but he knows that it wasn’t Ahsoka.

He wants Obi-Wan now more than ever. He wants a big, long hug because this is the worst thing he could have imagined coming from a bombing of the Jedi Temple. He’s sure whoever did it is targeting Ahsoka specifically. It feels too deliberate. She’s not just some convenient patsy.

Palpatine. Somehow Palpatine is behind this and Anakin is going to prove it. They don’t need Maul or Dooku to squeal on their Master. No, he’ll find that Palpatine is framing Ahsoka and that’ll be that. They’ll have reason to arrest him and that’ll be that.

Right?

—

“Skywalker, was there no way to stop your Padawan before she escaped?”

_ Fuck. You. Master. Mundi. Fuck you and your giant head and your dumb goatee and stupid ponytail.  _ “No, Master Mundi,” Anakin says diplomatically as he walks to the center of the room.

“The Council believes that Ahsoka may be guilty of the crime. Still believe they are wrong, do you, hmm?” Master Yoda asks.

“I believe she didn't kill the clone troopers or the woman who used the nano-droids to blow up the temple. That's why she's running. To prove her innocence,” Anakin insists. He’s sure how it sounds, almost contradictory, but it’s all he has going for him at the moment and he’s running on zero sleep and two pots of caf and a stim to stop the aching in his shoulder.

“Now she's in the lower depths. With her skills, she will be hard to find,” Master Windu says, almost as if he’s proud of his Padawan’s Padawan.

“Two teams we will send. Master Skywalker and Master Plo Koon, with clones you will go,” Master Yoda decides.

“I think it would be best if Anakin stayed here.” And there’s betrayal from his Master. “Having you involved may actually make things worse.”

“Master Windu, with all due respect, she is  _ my _ Padawan,” he notes. He looks to the holo of Obi-Wan and says, “Sorry,  _ our  _ Padawan.”

“The reason for you not to go,” his Master says.

_“I think we're being foolish if we take Anakin off this mission. Who knows her better?”_ Yes. Thank you, Obi-Wan. It definitely pays to have his Padawan’s other Master on the Council. 

There are probably two people who know her better than them, actually. Her best friends are Rex and Barriss. Rex will be accompanying him, but Barriss will probably be who she reaches out to in case she’s in trouble. He’ll alert Master Luminara to keep an ear out while they’re dechipping.

“He's emotionally tied to her. Probably too emotional to do what needs to be done,” Master Windu suggests.

“I'd rather capture Ahsoka and find out the truth than let her run because of a lie.”

“You must prove to us that you will stay focused. Can you?” Master Yoda asks.

“I've already alerted security on the lower levels to be on the lookout for Ahsoka.”

“Go swiftly then, Skywalker, and bring back this lost child before it is too late.”

He will. He’ll definitely bring her back. What else could he do?

—

“Barriss, it's me.”

_ “It's so good to see you, Ahsoka. Are you okay?” _

“Yeah, I'm okay, if you consider Anakin and a hundred clones on my tail a good space to be in,” Ahsoka says sarcastically.

_ “You were almost captured?” _

“Once or twice, yeah.”

_ “Where are you?” _

“I can't say, Barriss.”

_ “I believe I've found a clue.” _

“A clue? How? From where?”

_ “Some of Letta’s neighbors saw a bounty hunter with a cybernetic implant leaving their place a few days before the bombings. Through surveillance, I was able to track her movements after he left to a place on the lower levels.” _

“I'm on level 1312.”

_ “Got it. Three levels up there seems to be an abandoned warehouse where they used to build munitions where Letta probably gained access to the nano-droids.” _

“How did you find this out?” Ahsoka asks, impressed with her friend’s investigatory skills.

_ “I told you I would do some checking. I have to go. I’ve already been away from my post in the Halls of Healing too long.” _

“Thank you, Barriss.”

_ “Be careful, Ahsoka.”  _ She can’t exactly promise that, not with this giant target painted on her back, so she doesn’t.

—

“Surely we cannot do what Tarkin suggests. We need to stand together with Ahsoka,” Obi-Wan argues. He feels so many emotions at the allegations hurled at his Padawan that he could have thrown something at the holo.  _ Emotion, yet peace. _

“And yet there's evidence that she is indeed the mastermind behind the attack on the Temple.”  _ Fuck you and the orbak you rode in on, you giant-headed, greasy-ponytailed, pompous scrotal cyst of a Jedi. _

“She was found in possession of nanodroid explosives. This alone is enough to convict her,” Saesee Tiin says, uncharacteristically speaking up. Of course now that his Padawan’s life is on the line, everyone has an opinion.

“I understand your sentiment, Obi-Wan, but if the Council does as you suggest, it could be seen as an act of opposition to the Senate.” Mace sighs. “I'm afraid we have little choice,” he says, his tone betraying how torn he must be. It’s his Padawan’s Padawan. Nobody ever wants to think poorly of their own lineage.

“Hmm. To the Chamber of Judgment, summon Skywalker and his Padawan, and in our decision, may the Force guide us,” Master Yoda decides.

“No, she’s not just  _ his  _ Padawan. She is  _ my  _ Padawan too,” Obi-Wan snaps at his Master, a fiery defiance he’s never thought capable at throwing at a superior rearing its ugly head. 

“Unshakable faith in one’s Padawan, not all of us are lucky to have,” Yoda says.

“Ahsoka is no Dooku.”

“May the Force guide us,” Master Yoda repeats.

“Let’s take a vote, why don’t we? Before we exile her from the Order, let’s take a vote. Power of democracy and all.”

“All those in favor?” Yoda asks.

Obi-Wan, Mace, Kit, and Plo are the only ones not to raise their hand.

“Well, I suppose that settles it,” Master Mundi says. It takes all of Obi-Wan’s power not to beat the shit out of him.

—

“Padawan Tano, serious charges have been levied against you. How plead you?” Master Yoda asks.

“Not guilty, Master. I would never take the lives of innocents. The values of the Jedi are sacred to me,” she says, no hint of fear in her eyes. She doesn’t even know what’s coming to her. Obi-Wan could just about cry.

“There is evidence to the contrary. You were alone with Letta Turmond when she died. Can you explain this?” Ki-Adi asks. This man has been getting on Obi-Wan’s last nerve for the entirety of the time he’s known him, but particularly in the past few hours.

“Someone used the Force against her,” Ahsoka says.

“Which brings us to Ventress. Can you explain your association with her?” Plo questions. One of the only ones to believe in her. Of course he does. He brought her to the Temple, after all.

“We had a mutual understanding. I thought she was helping me.”

“Did you help you acquire the nanodroid weaponry found when you were apprehended, the same devices used in the bombing of the Temple?” Mace interrogates.

“No, I was set up and deceived, as you are being deceived now.”

“The question is, Padawan Tano, who is deceiving us? Ventress, you, or someone else?” Mace continues.

“I am not deceiving you. I would assume Ventress is, but I can't be sure. My sense is clouded.”

“Clouded by the dark side these things are, Padawan Tano. Dangerously clouded, but not just surrounding you, surrounding many things in these times,” Yoda says. Obi-Wan can’t believe him. His own Master has betrayed him and his Padawan.

“You've already made your decision, haven't you? This meeting is just a formality!” Anakin shouts angrily. He’s right. He is so very right.

“Reached a decision, we have, though not in total agreement are we,” Yoda states. 

Anakin’s eyes find Obi-Wan’s and Obi-Wan says  _ I’m so sorry. _

“It is the Council's opinion that Padawan Ahsoka Tano has committed sedition against the Republic, and thus, she will be expelled from the Jedi Order,” Mace says, trying and failing to mask his own disappointment in his voice.

“You can't do this!” Anakin exclaims, taking a step forward and having his path blocked by the blades of the Temple Guards.

“Your Padawan status will be stripped from you, and you shall forfeit all rank and privileges within the Grand Army of the Republic. You will be turned over to the Republic courts to await your trial and whatever punishment they will set for you,” Master Mundi says, striking rage in Obi-Wan all over again. As the guard rips the beads forming the symbolic braid from Ahsoka’s head, it’s like Obi-Wan’s heart shatters in his chest. “Henceforth, you are barred from the Jedi Order.”

—

“Barriss, I need to talk to you.”

“Master Skywalker, how can I help you?” Barriss asks, genuine curiosity in her face. Good, that’s good. He was afraid she might be the culprit, but she doesn’t look afraid or paranoid. She must be confused as to why he’s here and not at the trial.

“I was told that you spoke with Ahsoka before she was arrested. What did you say to her?”

“We've been friends for a long time. I was only trying to help her. I hope I'm not in any trouble,” she says.

“It's no trouble. I just need to know what you told her and if you told anyone else.”

“No, I found out a few clues for her while I was out of the Halls of Healing for a spell. I used surveillance footage of a woman with a cybernetic implant leaving Letta Turmond’s home just a few days before the bombing, then I was able to piece together a path from Letta’s home to the munitions warehouse Ahsoka was found in. She had no idea what was there, I promise. I’m the one who directed her there. I’ll testify on her behalf,” she offers readily. “Who told you I spoke to her?”

“Ventress. She told me,” Anakin says.

“Ventress? Isn't she the one Ahsoka says is really behind all this?”

“That's what Ahsoka says, but I think she's wrong. Ventress thinks someone else is involved.”

“And you believe her? Who else could it be if not her? Surely not Ahsoka.”

“No, I don't think it was Ahsoka either. I think both Ahsoka and Ventress are telling the truth, but there’s only one way to find out. Show me the surveillance you found.”

Barriss seems enthused that there’s a way for her to help. She is more than happy to show Anakin what she saw which Anakin immediately recognizes as a holo of Aurra Sing leaving Letta Turmond’s home.

“You seem pretty apt with technology,” Anakin notes. “Can you find me some footage from the warehouse last night?”

—

“Ahsoka Tano, by an overwhelming count of—”

“Chancellor.”

“I hope you have a reason for bursting into our proceedings, Master Skywalker,” Palpatine says, clearly more than a little annoyed.

“I'm here with evidence and a confession from the person responsible for all the crimes Ahsoka has been accused of. Aurra Sing, bounty hunter and pawn of Count Dooku.”

Barriss quickly takes over and explains her side of the story, including helping track Sing with Anakin. Master Luminara will be very proud of her Padawan. Anakin is proud of her.

“Take her away.”

—

“Ahsoka, I am so sorry about everything,” Anakin says, looking like he’s on the verge of tears.

“You have our most humble apologies, little 'Soka. The Council was wrong to accuse you,” Master Plo tells her.

Master Tiin says, “You have shown such great strength and resilience in your struggle to prove your innocence.”

“This is the true sign of a Jedi Knight,” Master Mundi says.  _ Kark off, man. You’re the one who tossed me out. _

“This was actually your great trial. Now we see that. We understand that the Force works in mysterious ways, and because of this trial, you have become a greater Jedi than you would have otherwise,” Master Windu says by way of an explanation. Ahsoka really doesn’t believe anyone but Master Plo, Anakin, and Obi-Wan are genuine.

“Back into the Order, you may come,” Master Yoda declares.

“They're asking you back, Ahsoka,” Anakin says, extending his hand with her silka beads. “ _ I'm _ asking you back. No.” He glances over at Obi-Wan and they appear to have a wordless conversation in just one look. Anakin reaches over to take Obi-Wan’s hand with his empty one. She watches as Anakin does the unthinkable and laces their fingers together. “ _ We’re  _ asking you back.”

That mere gesture speaks volumes. Ahsoka is surprised Master Mundi doesn’t gasp aloud.

“Masters, can we talk in private?” she asks, gesturing for the three of them to exit the room.

She sits down on a step and her Masters sit down on either side of her, though Anakin looks like he wants to hold Obi-Wan’s hand again.

“I don’t know if I want to come back,” she admits.

“Why not?” Anakin asks, hurt coloring his voice.

“The Council didn't trust me, so how can I trust myself?”

“What about me? I believed in you. I stood by you,” he says sadly.

“I know you believe in me, Anakin, and I'm grateful for that. You too, Obi-Wan. But this isn't about either of you. I don’t know if I can stay here any longer. Not now.”

“The Jedi Order is your life. You can't just throw it away like this,” Obi-Wan says, clearly hurt himself.

“Ahsoka, you are making a mistake,” Anakin insists. “More than you realize, I understand wanting to walk away from the Order. We both do.”

“Give it until after the war,” Obi-Wan asks, taking one of her hands. He gives it three squeezes. “That’s how long we’re being given before they’ll tell us if we’re out. Give us that much. We can make what could be our last months together count.”

She looks at him and his big blue eyes full of sadness and she knows she has to stay, at least for now. He already lost Satine…

“I’ll give it ‘til the end of the war,” she agrees. 

Surprisingly, overly-tactile Anakin isn’t the one to hug her first. Of course Anakin joins in too, probably glad for an excuse to embrace two of his favorite people. Anakin rests his chin on top of her head, between her montrals, kissing Obi-Wan’s cheek over her. She loves her dads. This is her family. The three of them, Rex, Cody, Padmé. They’re her family.


	19. Don't Go Breaking My Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahsoka gets promoted, Obi-Wan has to deal with an old foe, and Anakin has tea with a megalomaniac.

It’s done. They’ve successfully raised a Padawan.

While she’s still untrustworthy of the Council, her expression softens when she sees the happy tears in Anakin’s eyes. Obi-Wan puts one arm around Anakin and outstretches the other, beckoning her into a hug with her two Masters.

Each of them has been the youngest Knight in recent history at one point. Obi-Wan first, then Anakin, and now Ahsoka.

The three of them have been unconventional from the start. Never has a Padawan had two concurrent Masters, never has someone so young been given a Padawan. They were hardly old enough to take care of themselves, let alone a whole separate person. That’s the very reason she was shared between them. Anakin and Obi-Wan together created one functional adult.

War has changed them all. Obi-Wan’s not sure Anakin has recovered from Geonosis, or if he ever will. Ahsoka has had her entire life upended in the last two weeks. The only people who believed in her could fit into a thimble and one of those people was  _ Ventress. _

“Dinner at Dex’s?” Anakin asks.

Obi-Wan gets a sad, sinking feeling that this is going to be one of the last times they’re together as a group for a long time. Without a mutual Padawan, Obi-Wan and Anakin are likely to be thrown to the opposite sides of the Outer Rim while Ahsoka is given her own assignments.

“One last time,” Obi-Wan says quietly.

—

_ “Obi-Wan _ ,” Anakin softly moans as his lover enters him.

Obi-Wan’s lips touch his neck, moving over his adam’s apple and finding their way to Anakin’s pulse, sucking a mark there. A sharp gasp leaves Anakin’s throat as Obi-Wan gently bites down.

The movements he makes with his hips are simply perfect. Anakin likes hard and quick fucks, but he likes even more when Obi-Wan makes slow, soft love to him. Every motion is deliberate, no move wasted.

Pleasure washes over Anakin like a tide as Obi-Wan takes his face into his hands and leaves a sure, slow kiss on his lips.

“ _ Fuck _ , Obi-Wan, I love you so fucking much,” Anakin murmurs between messy and sweet kisses.

And Obi-Wan, his love and his life, smiles with the same shine and warmth as Tatooine’s twin suns. “I love you too, dearest.”

Anakin smiles back before licking into Obi-Wan’s mouth, soft whines leaving the back of his throat as Obi-Wan angles his thrusts just so. He laughs at how ridiculous he sounds as they merge together in the Force, their signatures plaited and Obi-Wan’s arms holding him.

_ “Anakin.” _

He knows for certain that he’s the one who crashes through the finish line first, though their bond in the Force means Obi-Wan is right behind him, a feat Anakin’s never going to grow tired of. There’s nothing as intimate as reaching a peak of pleasure together, gripping each other tight as a wave overtakes them both.

Once they clean up a bit, once they’re cuddling, limbs entwined, Obi-Wan puts his lips on Anakin’s once more. “We need to stop flagrantly skirting the rules in front of the Council.”

“Oh?”

“The hand-holding and kiss on the cheek when Ahsoka considered leaving. They didn’t miss it. Plo asked how long we’ve been in love. Mace issued me a stern warning. Who the hell knows what Ki-Adi was thinking?”

“Sorry,” Anakin says bashfully. “I guess I forget sometimes that we’re not allowed to be us in front of other people. What did you tell Master Plo?”

“I told him I love you, but it’s strictly platonic. That’s bad enough in the eyes of the Council. Our private lives stay private.”

“Got it. I can’t suck your dick in the middle of a Council meeting.” 

To be fair, Anakin’s never sucked his dick before, regardless of location. He’s too nervous of doing it wrong and Obi-Wan is perfectly fine with that. Of course he’s perfectly fine with it. He’s  _ Obi-Wan. _ Anakin is very self-conscious of fucking up and it’s not like it’s something he can practice. Not the way Obi-Wan has. He’s been with other guys before, but Anakin still feels like a fumbling same-sex virgin sometimes.

“Plo’s remarks were less threatening than your old Master’s. He threatened to throw me head first into a lava pool on Mustafar if I broke your heart. Heartbreaking events include getting you caught and exiled.”

Anakin smiles and brushes his lips over Obi-Wan’s. “Good thing you’re not going to break my heart, huh?”

“Couldn’t if I tried.”

—

The Team gets split up almost immediately.

Ahsoka is assigned with Luminara and Barriss to remove chips in the Outer Rim. The Council decided that she should be assigned to something looking at the big picture considering the fact she was one foot out the door.

Obi-Wan has an assignment related to the first he took with Padmé, the one to meet Rush Clovis. Now she’s imprisoned on Scipio and Obi-Wan is going to spring her from jail. Obi-Wan and Rush Clovis are far from civil with each other from what Anakin understands and hands will be thrown if he’s there. He tried to take advantage of Padmé and Obi-Wan got protective. Nowhere near the level of protective Anakin would have, which would’ve consisted of anger and swearing, but Padmé says Obi-Wan just raised his voice a  _ lot _ . He saved her life, which they can all be grateful for.

Anakin is meant to schmooze with the Chancellor, continuing his deception of a man he used to consider the man he considered a father figure. Now he knows that his father figure was always Master Windu, the only mentor to believe in and nurture him with no ulterior motive. He even went so far as to threaten his boyfriend, a classic trope he’s seen in holodramas where the father of the leading woman would clean his blaster in front of the leading man. Master Windu would never do something so overt, but Obi-Wan is well aware of his capabilities. 

They’re all heartbroken to be separated so soon, though none of them can say it in the war room. Anakin and Ahsoka leave before Obi-Wan and they’ll be gone before the Council meeting ends.

“Think he’s gonna be okay?” she asks.

“He’s always okay,” Anakin assures her.

“Are  _ you  _ gonna be okay?”

“I hope so.”

—

“My boy, it is always a delight to see you,” Palpatine says as he stands from his desk.

He walks over to the couch as Anakin does, sitting down at almost the same time.

“Likewise, Your Excellency.”  _ No, no, no, no, NO. Never a delight. _

“What news do you bring?”

“Obi-Wan has gone to Scipio and I’m nervous as to what he’ll find there. I hope it’s not Rush Clovis.”

“I would certainly hope not. He’s a traitor to the Republic and no friend of Kenobi’s, if Senator Amidala is to be believed.”

“Well, he  _ did _ let her get poisoned,” Anakin says. “I may not be married to her anymore, but I do love her. I hate Clovis.” Hate. Hate is a dark emotion. He’ll love that. “If any more harm comes to either of them, I’ll kill him.” Okay, maybe he’s laying it on a  _ little  _ thick.

“Now, now, what would the Jedi Council think of that?”

“Doesn’t matter,” he says brazenly. “They don’t get a say in how much I love the people who mean the most to me and Obi-Wan and Padmé mean the most to me. I’d do anything for them.”

“And your Padawan?”

“She’s not my Padawan anymore. She’s a full-fledged Knight,” he says proudly.  _ No thanks to you. _

“That’s wonderful. I was afraid of hurting you when I was forced to give my ruling. I would hate to hurt you, my boy.”

That particular term of endearment has always felt wrong, even before Anakin knew he was a maniac of a Sith Lord. No, that was a term used by the Masters on Tatooine. That’s what Watto called him when he wasn’t hijacking the loving nickname his mother gave him. That’s what the patrons of Watto’s shop called him. ‘My boy’ is always going to remind him of being spat on and harassed, but he was never going to tell the Supreme Chancellor of the entire karking Republic that at the age of nine.

“Thank you, Your Excellency. That means a lot to hear. You wouldn’t have had a choice in the matter. The people voted. They voted wrong, but that happens a lot, doesn’t it? At least that’s what Padmé tells me.”

“From a certain point of view,” he concedes.

“It’d be a lot easier if there was just one person making decisions,” Anakin says, digging deep to imagine what a megalomaniac might be thinking.

“Now there’s an idea, my boy.”

Anakin suppresses a shudder. He’s dropped enough crumbs this time. He needs to recharge before he does this again tomorrow.

“I’m helping Master Yoda instruct some younglings today, so I have to go. Would you like to do lunch tomorrow?” Anakin asks, hating the idea as he floats it.

“I will be tied up in meetings all day tomorrow, but we will try another day.”

As Anakin walks out of the office, he feels a bit lighter. A lot less tense.  _ Nailed it. _

—

“I've been looking for you,” Obi-Wan says, entirely unable to stop a smile from forming on his face when he sees his love. As he can often be found doing, he’s in his bedroom — the room that he only slept in a handful of times — bent over a project on his workbench, juggling tools as he tinkers.

“Something wrong?”

“Yes,” he admits, sitting down on the bench Anakin snagged from a storage room. “I don’t trust Clovis.”

“Does anyone?” Anakin asks, putting down his soldering gun.

“I’m worried about Padmé. They’re at the opera together.”

Obi-Wan feels a burst of emotion from Anakin in the Force. Jealousy.

“She’s risked her life tons of times. I’d say she’s quite capable of taking care of herself,” Anakin says, recovering from the brief lapse in composure. “Now that I’m not married to her, I can look at things objectively. She is brilliant and shrewd and definitely knows what she’s doing. Stop worrying, okay?”

“Someone I love is in danger, someone who  _ isn’t  _ a Jedi, and there’s hardly anything I can do. Is this how you feel all the time?”

“Yep. My worries don’t go away because you and Snips are Jedi and good with a lightsaber or two. I’m not as talented as you are at compartmentalizing.”

“Believe me, I’ve been finding it harder and harder to keep my mind focused on the mission when I know you’re in a room alone with a Sith Lord and Ahsoka is surrounded by men who could, at the discretion of that Sith Lord, turn into Jedi-killing automatons.”

“So, uh, if you need a distraction from this particular worry, I know of a solution.”

“Do you get something out of this solution?” Obi-Wan asks coyly.

“A thing or two. Or three.”

“Three? My, we’re ambitious, young Skywalker.”

“There’s always—”

Whatever Anakin was going to say is interrupted by the comlink on Obi-Wan’s forearm going off.

“Padmé,” he explains to Anakin as he presses the button.

_ “Dooku is behind this. He’s going to manipulate things so that Rush gets put in charge of the banks so he can jack up Republic interest rates.” _

“Did you hear this from Clovis?” Obi-Wan asks.

_ “He confessed everything before intermission. Dooku gave him intel on the embezzling going on for the purpose of bleeding the Republic dry.” _

Anakin and Obi-Wan share a look, acknowledging with a grimace what they know to be true. Palpatine is the one behind this.

“Bring Clovis to the Jedi Temple. He’ll need to tell the Council all that you’ve told me,” Obi-Wan says.

_ “Why not directly to the Chancellor?” _

Obi-Wan flounders for a lie and Anakin is the one to supply it. “He was feeling ill when I visited him earlier. Grand Master Yoda will be better equipped. Hi, Padmé.”

_ “Hi, Ani. We’ll meet you at the Temple.” _

The transmission cuts out and Anakin brings his lips to Obi-Wan’s. “Why can’t we just kill him and elect a new Chancellor?”

“We need proof before we take action,” Obi-Wan explains for what feels like the millionth time. 

“What if I seduce him? Do you think that old bag of bones would tell me his secret plans if I fucked him? I could be the dick that saved democracy!”

“I’m not giving you permission to save the Republic through adultery, Anakin.”

“That’s only  _ one _ of my plans to expedite this. I’ve got plenty more.”

Obi-Wan has to buckle up because the walk to the Council chambers is going to be a long one with this chatterbox going.


	20. Hug Me 'Til You Drug Me, Honey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin and Obi-Wan get sent to a strange world, Padmé arranges a double date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this out, relying on my memory from high school, and named the planet after Aldous Huxley and then decided to binge Brave New World on Peacock and wow they did a lot better at adapting the book than me  
> I highly recommend the series. Young Han plays John the Savage and it's *chef's kiss*

“Skywalker, glad to see you, we are.”

Anakin is nervous. Every time he gets called before the Council lately has been for something bad, like Ahsoka’s banishment or Palpatine. All he has to do is take a deep breath and look at the handsome bearded councilor he loves so much and the worry floats away.

“Nothing new on the Palpatine front,” he says confidently. “He’s laying low, I think.”

“We have new intel. The Separatists are planning on taking the small neutral planet of Aldousia,” Master Windu says, calling up a holo of a dwarf planet with two even smaller moons. “We’re afraid it’ll be the same result as Kiros.”

Anakin feels a flicker of anger at the reminder of Darts D’Nar and his hands on Obi-Wan.

“And you want the 501st to beat them up?”

“The Aldousians don’t want a military force on the planet, but we need you to negotiate at least a flagship just out of the atmosphere as protection,” Kit says, hiding an amused smile. What the hell is that about?

“Negotiation? That’s more Obi-Wan’s bailiwick, isn’t it?” Anakin asks, folding his arms across his chest.

“Obi-Wan has indeed been to Aldousia before, back when he was Qui-Gon Jinn’s Padawan,” Master Mundi says. “Far before he was the great negotiator he is today. He will be accompanying you.”

“Oh. Why not just him?”

Even Master Plo looks amused as he speaks. “Well, the tactics we used last time failed. The Jedi have met with the Aldousians twice. First, we sent a Jedi alone. The second, we sent a Jedi and a very young Padawan. We believe we have finally come up with the arrangement that will deter them from enforcing their rules.”

“They have rules? Obi-Wan probably loves that,” Anakin says, rolling his eyes.

“The rules are summed up in three tenets. No privacy, no family, no monogamy,” Obi-Wan says with a grimace. “Everyone belongs to everyone else.”

“Well, that sounds a lot like the Jedi. I mean, we get  _ some _ privacy, but no attachments, so no monogamy or family.”

“The Jedi don’t have orgies every night,” Obi-Wan replies gently.

Oh. Karking hell.

“Oh, okay. So we’re a duo to keep the other honest? Pretty sure you don’t have to worry about Obi-Wan on that front. He loves the Code. Probably has it tattooed on himself somewhere.” As if there was a part of him Anakin hasn’t seen.

“They’re very seductive. It’s what they did to the first Jedi, who renounced the Order and joined them. It’s what they tried to do to Qui-Gon after sending Kenobi to bed despite invoking the Code. We’ve deduced that convincing them of rule-bending monogamous attachment might deflect their advances,” Master Mundi says. “Who else would be better at feigning attachment than the two of you?”

“Yep. We can do that. Good ol’ monogamous attachment,” Anakin says awkwardly. “So, uh, when do we leave?”

“As soon as this meeting has ended,” Master Windu says, giving a knowing look. They’re already monogamously attached and he knows it. Won’t be hard to sell it at all.

—

Upon first arrival, it doesn’t  _ look  _ like a planet with multiple nightly orgies. The woman that meets them at the ship is perfectly normal. She’s wearing a  _ turtleneck  _ for fuck’s sake. Anakin assumed a planet so sexually liberated would have people walking around naked or scantily clothed or something. To be fair, Padmé looks hot in a turtleneck and so does Obi-Wan, but that’s probably because he was already attracted to them.

Obi-Wan gives a small bow and Anakin follows his lead. “My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi and this is my partner Anakin Skywalker. We’re the Jedi your prime minister invited.”

“Morrigan Perry. I’m the Director of Interplanetary Relations,” she says with a bright smile. “Come, come. The Prime Minister awaits.”

The place is gorgeous. Everything is bright white, grass and flowers all around, crisp and clean. Anakin is definitely put in an upbeat mood already just based on aesthetics. It’d be a damn shame if the Separatists came down on such a utopian beauty.

Obi-Wan makes conversation with their escort while Anakin looks around with wonder. It’s the complete opposite of Tatooine or even Coruscant. Coruscant is one giant city and Tatooine is a little dust ball. This place has verdant hills and trees and  _ beauty.  _ It reminds him a bit of Naboo’s lake country in terms of beauty.

To be here with the person he loves most is a reward. Master Mundi probably thought this was a punishment, but he’s so  _ happy. _ He briefly takes Obi-Wan’s hand to squeeze it thrice and Obi-Wan does it back, not once faltering in his conversation nor his focus on Director Perry.

Anakin is tired and his shoulder aches, but he’s happy.

—

Of course the Prime Minister wants to leave the negotiations for the morning. Of course he invites them to a private party. They have no choice but to accept.

Director Perry provides them with “on theme” outfits for them to change into and Obi-Wan frowns at how poorly the belt holds up his lightsaber.

“Guess you’ll have to leave it behind, Master Kenobi,” Anakin teases, getting into Obi-Wan’s space as he pulls his new shirt over his head.

“I don’t like that idea one bit,” Obi-Wan decides. He rests a hand on Anakin’s neck and leans in to kiss him.

“Let’s save that for later,” Anakin proposes as he ducks away. “I think I’ve heard you use the phrase ‘delayed gratification’ before.”

Obi-Wan rolls his eyes at his lover and embraces him instead. “I love you, Anakin, however foolish you might be.”

“I love you too, Obi-Wan.”

—

Anakin’s not a prude. At least he doesn’t think he is.

But  _ this  _ is too much. Seeing Rex naked in a communal shower is far different from being six feet away from an orgy. The sounds, the sights, the smells, it’s all too much. It makes him feel a little ill actually. 

“Are you going to partake?” Director Perry asks before downing her glass of sparkling wine. Without having to ask for it, the empty glass in her hand is replaced by a full one courtesy of a gentleman in a tan overcoat.

“Oh, the offer is considerate, but Anakin and I are Jedi and while we aren’t  _ meant  _ to have attachments, I’m woefully attached to him. My understanding is that it isn’t quite normal here.”

“You’re monogamous?” Prime Minister Skane asks, hands on his knees as the aide between his knees blows him. Kark, maybe Anakin  _ is  _ a prude. He must be with the way it makes him feel.

“I know it’s not the way things work here on Aldousia, but I fell in love with him hard,” Anakin says, looking into Obi-Wan’s eyes and not speaking a word of a lie. “It’s not the way things work for the Jedi either. I just  _ fell  _ and he fell too and now we have to hide the greatest thing to ever happen to us from everyone. He’s the only one I ever want to be with.”

“What a story,” Director Perry says with a smile, crossing one knee over the other. “Monogamy is fascinating.”

“Quite,” the Prime Minister agrees. “Marriage, families, all curious ways of life. A strange way to live.”

“I guess it might be strange to a culture that is so casual about sex,” Obi-Wan remarks, “but it’s far different on Coruscant.”

“Even more so on Tatooine,” Anakin says. “Sex is sort of… Well, at least among slaves, it’s not a casual thing. A lot of people don’t want to risk having a child born into slavery. But then you can’t have same-sex encounters without being labelled and shunned.”

“I’m not sure what it’s like on my homeworld. I’d assume it’s like Coruscant, but I don’t rightly know. I suppose it doesn’t matter. For us, the Jedi Code supersedes all,” Obi-Wan says sadly.

“And yet you bend those rules for each other. Love is enigmatic,” Director Perry declares.

“It is,” Anakin agrees with a blush. He tries to look somewhere safe, but sex is all around. They’re sitting upon a glass platform beneath which people are entangled with ecstasy. Can’t even look at the floor. The only safe place to look is at Obi-Wan.

—

“I think we’re expected to have sex. I don’t know if they’d know, but I’m just assuming they’ll know somehow. Like the walls are two-way mirrors or there are cameras or something.”

Obi-Wan takes a step forward and whispers in Anakin’s ear. “It’s possible. Monogamy  _ is _ a spectacle.”

“Now I have performance anxiety,” Anakin says. He rarely has anxiety and he’s realized today that he’s definitely a prude, so he’s not surprised he has anxiety about some people somehow knowing they’ve boned or not.

“It’s alright, I’ll help you,” Obi-Wan murmurs. “Time for delayed gratification, yeah?”

Anakin gulps and nods. “Do you think the Council knew? Do they think we’ll just screw it out of our system?”

“Could be,” Obi-Wan says, taking a break from kissing Anakin’s neck to pull his shirt off.

“Do you think our Masters know we’re already fucking?”

“Undoubtedly.”

“Well, that’s embarrassing,” Anakin says awkwardly as Obi-Wan’s lips trail down his chest. “Do they think this is some romantic holiday or something?”

“No. This was Master Mundi’s idea. Like you said, they probably think we’re getting the sexual tension out of our systems,” Obi-Wan theorizes as he slides Anakin’s pants off.

Anakin thinks it’s Obi-Wan’s turn to take his clothes off, bringing him to his feet before he can do whatever he was planning to.

Anakin sucks a prominent mark high on Obi-Wan’s throat as he unbuttons his lover’s pants, shoving them down unceremoniously until they’re both undressed.

Things move fast from there until he’s situated in Obi-Wan’s lap, moving together as they exchange kisses and moans and heavy breaths and utterances of each other’s name.

Anakin’s breath catches in his throat as he comes, his Force-signature melting over Obi-Wan’s until it’s consumed and Obi-Wan shudders through an orgasm of his own.

_ “Anakin.” _

“Yeah, I’m here,” he says delicately before crashing his lips against Obi-Wan’s. “Right here, Obi-Wan.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” Anakin says with a small laugh and another sweet press of their lips together. “I think that’s perfectly clear.” His hand covers the pendant on Obi-Wan’s chest, the broken kyber crystal singing at the touch.

“Marry me,” Obi-Wan says abruptly. Anakin is taken aback. “I don’t want to wait until we get thrown out after the war. I want to marry you right now.”

“Let’s put that on hold until at least after we get cleaned up.”

And they do. It’s a good thirty minute shower that they spend mostly making out. Not that Anakin is complaining. 

Obi-Wan has been so phobic at the idea of marriage while they’re still Jedi, but here he is proposing the most serious show of monogamy. He already knew Obi-Wan was going to be with him for the rest of their lives, but the idea of hiding a second marriage from the Council seems dicey, especially marrying a councilor.

“I’m not marrying you until the war is over,” Anakin decides as they towel off. “Mostly because I want the closest thing I’ve had to a father there. I want Master Windu, Mom, Ahsoka, Rex, Padmé, Cody, hell, even Master Yoda… The people who love us most deserve to be there, but  _ after  _ the war.”

“That way we’ll have our verdict as to whether we can stay and you can invite Mace without feeling like you’ll get exiled,” Obi-Wan acknowledges.

“Exactly,” Anakin says with a smile, pressing a kiss to Obi-Wan’s lips. “I think this officially makes you my fiancé. Leave it to us to get more monogamous on a planet where monogamy is outlawed.”

“I don’t think this is what Ki-Adi wanted from us. He probably meant for us to have public sex and then feel too awkward about it to ever look at each other again,” Obi-Wan postulates.

“Well, good thing he doesn’t get a say in where or when we fuck each other,” Anakin says, kissing him hard. “Like maybe right now?”

“Let’s just skip a step and get back in the shower.”

Anakin pumps his fist victoriously.  _ Take that, Master Mundi. _

—

The papers get signed and a ship is contacted to remain in orbit without having to sit through another orgy, thank the Force. Anakin would’ve absolutely died of mortification if he had to watch another nonchalant blowjob happen so close to him.

As beautiful as the planet of Aldousia is, Anakin is looking forward to going back to Coruscant. Padmé has invited him and Obi-Wan for dinner and, despite having to see Palpatine, that’s enough to make him excited.

The hangar is still being rebuilt so they land elsewhere and take speeders to the Temple. Obi-Wan has to debrief the Council, but Anakin is free to roam about aimlessly.

There’s rarely anyone around nowadays, mostly just younglings, initiates, and their minders, but Anakin is happy to just head to the Archives.

After waving a quick hello to Master Jocasta, he grabs a book from a shelf and sits down with it in the aisles.

It’s the book Obi-Wan used to teach him to read. It’s an illustrated copy of  _ The Jedi Path _ , one they use for younglings. He remembers his fingers running over the words as he forms them and Obi-Wan gently reminding him that he won’t be reading with his finger the rest of his life and to stop it. 

He took so much time trying to pronounce things like Homonix Rectonia and Tvthon and ysalamiri and vornskr and Obi-Wan let Anakin take his time, helping him where he needed it.

Looking back, Anakin was definitely in love with Obi-Wan a tiny bit as a boy. It was dumb little puppy love, but it was definitely love. It’s not like little Ani was dreaming of marrying his friend or anything, but he idolized him, wanted to be like him, wanted so desperately to be liked by him.

They’ve come so far from a boy who couldn’t read basic and a reluctant tutor. They raised a Padawan together and they fell in love.

It’s a comfort to see the words haven’t changed in this book when so much of the galaxy has. His life has been upended many times over and it’s still the same. It’ll always be the same.

—

“How was the trip?” Mace asks casually.

“I’ll never be used to the culture there. I think it traumatized Anakin,” Obi-Wan says honestly. The look on his face when they were surrounded by people having sex was bright red with embarrassment and shock.

“Partake, did you?” Master Yoda asks, ears perking up with anticipation of the answer.

“Of course not,” he replies. “I’m sure that would have traumatized Anakin even further.”

“We figured you would have to insist on your attachment and join in with each other,” Master Mundi comments.

Exactly. He wanted them to fuck and never want to look each other in the eye ever again. Probably didn’t bank on them fucking and Obi-Wan officially proposing marriage.

“No, we didn’t have to join in. We simply had a conversation while the Prime Minister’s aide was fellating him.”

Kit can’t stifle the snort that comes out. “Sorry, that’s just… Sorry.”

“I thought Anakin was going to combust of embarrassment. Couldn’t even look at his shoes because we were on a glass platform on top of people having sex.”

“Did you have to kiss?” Eeth asks like a Padawan at a slumber party.

“Holding hands sufficed. Public displays of affection, even between those in love, is frowned upon in the Core Worlds. At least that was Anakin’s excuse. Sorry to disappoint, but it was entirely chaste.”

His thoughts definitely don’t flash back to Anakin’s back against the shower wall, holding him up by the thighs, legs resting in the crooks of Obi-Wan’s elbows as they fucked.  _ Mm, harder, Obi-Wan. _ His shields are up high so nobody’s going to know, but it flusters him the slightest bit.

“There goes the hope you’d sever the tension,” Ki-Adi mutters.

“Sorry to disappoint,” Obi-Wan says again through gritted teeth. Mace sends him a sympathetic look. He definitely knows they’re sleeping together. Anakin had  _ hoped  _ he’d just assume their love was virginal, but no, Anakin’s father figure knows he’s getting laid.

Master Yoda is the better part of a millennium old, he’s probably wise to it. Obi-Wan wonders if they gossip about their Padawans. Force, that would be embarrassing.

It’s hard to focus on the rest of the meeting because of the glare Ki-Adi is directing his way. Why does he even care? He has five wives and seven children of his own. 

Hypocrite.

—

“Ani, Obi-Wan, come in,” Padmé says, ushering them inside her luxurious apartment.

Something catches Obi-Wan’s eye immediately. Not just something, but some _ one. _ Sitting on the couch is a man with dark, curly hair. He is, objectively, handsome.

Padmé makes short work of introducing them to this stranger. He looks extremely comfortable in Padmé’s apartment, which Obi-Wan is suspicious of. Who  _ is  _ this man?

“This is my friend Palo Jemabie,” she says as he shakes each of their hands. “We knew each other when we were young. We were in the Legislative Youth Program together.”

A look of recognition flickers over Anakin’s face, which tells Obi-Wan that Padmé has mentioned him before.

“Palo, these are my Jedi friends Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi. They’ve saved my life more times than I can count.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you both. Padmé mentioned having friends in high places, but I never thought two Master Jedi would be joining us.”

Anakin has a goofy grin on his face. “That’s us. We’re much better than any politician friends.”

“Bail would have come, but Taena wanted her daddy to come home for a while,” she says with a smile.

“Well, we’re honored you invited us. It’s always a privilege, Senator Amidala.”

“Oh, Master Kenobi, you can throw out titles. We’re friends having a meal together. Just call me Padmé.”

He does.

The meal is wonderful and they get to know plenty about Palo. He’s an artist, currently working on an anti-war piece here on Coruscant, collaborating with four other artists from throughout the Republic. He and Padmé have known one another since they were children and Padmé is bashful whenever the past is brought up. Obi-Wan is curious, but doesn’t press.

Not until she asks Obi-Wan to come help get dessert ready.

“So, what do you think of him?” she asks.

“He’s a kind and clever man. I can see why you like him. Do you want our approval?”

She blushes bright pink. “Are you willing to give it?” 

“I am. I like him, Padmé. He’s not a politician. He hasn’t even argued with Anakin about anything. I had assumed he’d be a little more jealous of you introducing us to your boyfriend.”

“Well, I’d hope not. I’m not jealous of Ani’s boyfriend anymore,” she points out with a teasing smile, poking him where the pendant is under his shirt.

Obi-Wan chuckles. “Palo has my wholehearted approval.”

“Thank you, Obi-Wan. That really means a lot. You’re my third-best friend, you know.”

“Oh?”

“Bail, Anakin, you.”

“I’m afraid I don’t have a ranked list. I simply consider you to be family.”

Padmé smiles, throwing her arms around his neck in a warm hug. “You’re my family too, Obi-Wan. I never thought I’d say that to my ex-husband’s fiancé, but here we are.”

“Here we are,” he echoes.


	21. Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan discovers a link to a years-old investigation, Anakin helps Master Yoda escape.

“Then it is the lost ship of Master Sifo-Dyas?” Mace asks.

The name makes Obi-Wan hang on every word. This is related to the chips. It has to be.

_ “I found this at the crash site,” _ Plo says, holding a hilt aloft.

“Hmm. The lightsaber of Sifo-Dyas, it is. Never found when he died, it was.”

“Master Kenobi, remind the Council of what you discovered regarding Master Sifo-Dyas before

the start of the Clone War,” Mace prompts.

“My investigation of the bounty hunter Jango Fett led to Kamino. The Kaminoans recounted that it was Jedi Master Sifo-Dyas who ordered the production of a Clone Army,” he reiterates. That feels so long ago, but it was only three years. It feels like another lifetime. He hadn’t even fallen for Anakin yet. He loved him, but he was just his mutually codependent best friend, not a man he wants to marry.

“Without the consent of the Council or the Senate, he did this,” Yoda says. Obi-Wan’s not sure what he’s thinking. Was it a good thing or a bad thing?

“Prior to the blockade of Naboo, Sifo-Dyas sat on this Council until we judged his ideas to be too extreme,” Mace informs the newer members of the Council.

_ “Indeed. He said he foresaw a great conflict, and that the Republic would need to raise an army. At the time the Council rejected those ideas _ ,” Plo adds.

“Well, it's not the first time we've been wrong recently, is it?” Obi-Wan asks, mind flicking to Ahsoka’s banishment and the fact that the fucking  _ Chancellor  _ is a Sith Lord.

“The creation of the Clone Army, kept secret from us, Sifo-Dyas did. How this was done, we know not. Yet now, a new piece of the puzzle we have, perhaps clarity, it will bring us, yes.”

—

“Our records definitively state that Master Sifo-Dyas died on Felucia,” Madame Jocasta says. “In the fifth quarter, a small skirmish broke out between the native Felucians. Master Sifo-Dyas was assigned to negotiate peace talks between the tribes. The negotiations failed and Sifo-Dyas was killed.”

“ _ What became of his body? _ ” Plo’s holo asks.

“I am afraid I cannot answer that. Any further information on this incident has been sealed.”

“On whose authority?” Mace asks.

“By the office of the Supreme Chancellor.”

Everyone freezes. Obi-Wan feels his blood run cold, a shiver down his spine. Anakin gives him a look of fear.  _ What are they going to find if they look into this? _

“Thank you, Madame Jocasta,” Mace says once he regains the ability to speak. 

“To Felucia, Skywalker and Kenobi will go. A trail long cold, it is, yet still lay hidden there a clue might be. Question all who were present the day of Sifo-Dyas's death, you must,” Yoda tells them. 

Anakin prods against Obi-Wan in the Force, clearly seeking comfort in the face of a potentially dangerous assignment. The only ones around are their Masters and Plo’s hologram facing away from them, so Obi-Wan does something dumb and takes Anakin’s hand, tugging him minutely closer.

“And what of the sealed file?” Mace asks. “We can’t let Palpatine know we’re onto him.”

“Speak with the Chancellor personally, I will, to see what part in this the politics of the Senate have played,” Yoda decides. “Allude to his true allegiances, I shall not.”

That doesn’t make Obi-Wan feel all that much better. His Master going to a Sith Lord about a Sith conspiracy involving a Jedi Master doesn’t seem like such a good idea, regardless of the way it’s presented. But his Master is the  _ Grand  _ Master for a reason. He’s old and wise enough to protect himself. It’s still going to be a fear of his.

—

“Oh, look. It’s just the two of us, alone on a ship sailing through hyperspace. Whatever shall we do?” Anakin asks, draping himself over the back of the pilot’s chair.

Obi-Wan chuckles and shakes his head. “I think I’m a bit too anxious to perform all that well right now.”

“Yoda will be fine,” Anakin insists, kissing his lover’s cheek, “but I respect the boundaries you put forward because I love you. Not to mention, I’m not  _ just _ interested in getting off. I like feeling you physically, emotionally, in the Force. Sex amplifies that a bit, sure, but I’m perfectly content to just hold your hand and bathe in your presence in the Force.”

Obi-Wan laces their fingers together and brings Anakin’s hand up to his lips. “I love you too, my dearest.”

Anakin’s smile is bright. He leans over and kisses him, a quick and simple peck on the lips. “I love you more.”

“I love you most.”

Kenobi wins the verbal spar, but Anakin knows he’s really the winner here. Obi-Wan’s love is the ultimate prize.

—

“Dooku! For once you actually came to do your own dirty work,” Anakin snarls.

“Sometimes things are just that important.”

And thus begins a fight. Anakin charges in with Djem So while Obi-Wan follows with Soresu.

They move each as one half of a whole, complementing the other perfectly, knowing the other’s move before they make it.

Blue clashes with red until Obi-Wan is about to fall to his death. Anakin tries to catch him with the Force, but is distracted by Dooku’s assault, reluctantly letting go, yet knowing his friend will be alright. He was pushed down a reactor shaft thirteen years ago and came out okay.

Anakin is right. He springs back into the action and they fall right back into their fluid and complementary motions. Anakin feels them merge in the Force as they battle across the platform.

The Pykes charge through a door on the other side, blasters at the ready. There’s no way they’ll lose this one. They’ll have Dooku for sure.

“You have no business left with the Pykes, Tyranus.”

“Tyranus? You are the man called Tyranus?” Obi-Wan asks, shock coloring his voice.

“I told you everything you needed to know on Geonosis all those years ago, Kenobi,” Dooku says, pointing at Obi-Wan with his lightsaber. “You should have joined me. Sifo-Dyas understood. He saw the future, that is why he helped me.”

“You lie,” Obi-Wan accuses. “Minister Lom, if you are going to help us, now is the time.”

“Kill Tyranus!” Lom instructs. 

Blaster bolts begin to fly. Dooku shoves those behind him back using the Force, charging forward, deflecting shots with his lightsaber.

He kills Lom in cold blood before making his abrupt escape. Karking shit.

—

“Is it really that surprising that a Sith was behind creating the clone army? There’s a reason they have those chips in their head. I assumed it’s because they paid off the Kaminoans, not that they commissioned the clones outright,” Anakin says as Obi-Wan paces back and forth.

“Master Yoda is right. Nobody else can know. It’s bad enough that they have the chips, but if the men knew they only existed because of the Sith it would be a huge blow to morale.”

“I know, Obi-Wan. Come to bed, alright? We need some rest before we get to Coruscant. Who knows what our next mission will be?”

Obi-Wan nods and tugs off his clothes until he’s clad in just his underwear, getting into bed beside Anakin, who immediately curls around him like an oversized tooka.

“I love you,” Anakin says, leaving a kiss on Obi-Wan’s bearded jaw.

“I love you too, my darling.”

Anakin loves every term of endearment Obi-Wan offers up, warming in the Force and melting against him.

Despite the consequences of their mission, Anakin sleeps well cuddled up to the man he loves. It’s just like when they were little kids who didn’t have the weight and worry of the galaxy on their shoulders. It’s peaceful.

—

Padmé. He should go see Padmé.

She says he’s always welcome and he’s always so dreadfully bored when Obi-Wan is in Council meetings. To hear Obi-Wan tell it, he also gets bored when he’s in Council meetings, though Anakin’s not so sure if that’s true or not. They’re at war, there’s got to be  _ some  _ excitement amongst the bureaucracy.

Padmé looks happy to see him. Really happy, actually. Happier than he’s seen her since their honeymoon.

“What’s got you so peppy?” he asks her.

“Oh, Ani, I was going to comm you, but I didn’t realize you were back yet. I have the greatest news.”

“Oh?”

“Palo proposed last night and I accepted.”

A grin spreads across his face as he takes her hand, examining the ring. Anakin never got to give her a ring. That would’ve aroused too many questions. Besides, where would a Jedi get the credits for a ring?

It’s beautiful in its simplicity, a corusca gem set in a thin gold band. Palo chose something aesthetically pleasing that also matches Padmé herself. He has a good eye. Probably why he’s an artist.

“I’m so happy for you. You deserve a love that you can be open about. He’s a great guy. Tell me how he did it.”

Padmé excitedly launches into a long story about a trip to an art gallery and a meal at an understated hidden gem of a restaurant. She says he informed her parents of his intentions, but told them he wasn’t asking for permission because it’s an antiquated, patriarchal custom. She’s just very happy and bubbly and Anakin hugs her close.

“You’re inviting me to the wedding, right?”

“Of course I am, Ani. You and Obi-Wan and Ahsoka. My three favorite Jedi.”

Anakin grins. “When do you plan on getting married?”

“We’ve decided to hold off on planning until the war is over. It might be a long engagement. You and I went from eloping after less than a month to engagements that could last for years.”

“Well, I guess we’ll just have to expedite things. I have a ton of plans for that, most of which Obi-Wan tells me I’m a dumbass for suggesting, so they’re not  _ great—” _

“Take your time, Anakin. It happens when it happens.”

—

Anakin feels a little weird being summoned before Master Yoda since he’s been put on bed rest. He’s almost 900 so he deserves a small mental breakdown during wartime. It must take a lot out of him, especially the fact that a former Council member collaborated with Dooku to form the clone army with slave chips in their brains.

“You asked for me, Master?” he asks cheerily, masking his unease.

“Yes, friends, we are? Hmm?”

“Of course,” Anakin says, but feels a little weird doing so. Yoda is the Master of all Masters. He’s a friend to all he knows, a firm ally to whoever needs one. Still, Anakin feels weird  _ admitting _ that they’re friends.

“A choice, you must make. Worried for you, I am.”

“Why is that?” Anakin asks cautiously.

“Do something for me, you must. Blamed, you will be,” Yoda asks as he retrieves his gimer stick.

“What? What must I do?”

“Help me to escape. Yes.”

“Escape? But you're not in prison.”

“No, hmm? Perhaps. But perhaps I am,” he says, glancing at the Temple guards. “Already, all around us, the cage may be. A journey I must make, alone.”

“The Council will not want you to travel at all, alone even less.”

“Disobeying the Council, your expertise is, that is why I ask for your help.”  _ Ouch _ . He’s not wrong, though. Obi-Wan has told him several times that he causes more headaches to the Council than every other Jedi combined. What can he say? The Chosen One doesn’t like being put on a leash. “It is the spontaneity, you find so easily, which others do not. That is what sets you apart. Now, a walk you will take me on. Come, come.”

“Where are you going?” a guard asks.

“Some fresh air I require,” Yoda informs them.

“It's okay, he's with me. I'll watch him,” Anakin assures the guards.  _ I hope I don't regret this. _

“In love, you are. Unacceptable, that will be, to the Council,” Yoda says not long after they begin their walk. “Happy, you make my dear Padawan. Work well together, you do.”

“We do,” Anakin agrees, feeling himself turn red with the topic of conversation. “I feel like Master Mundi is going to call for the death penalty if it ever comes out how I feel. How the both of us feel.”

“Regrets, do you have?”

“I don’t think I could regret anything regarding Obi-Wan. Not how I feel, not what I’ve done. I would die for him.”

“Know this, I do. For you, the same, he would do.”

Anakin’s not sure why he says it, but he says, “We’re getting married as soon as the Council gives its verdict if we’re forced out or not at the end of the war. Either we’re out of the Order and that’s that  _ or _ we’re in and we’ve more or less lived like a married couple already and if they accept the relationship… I don’t know what I’d do if I wasn’t a Jedi, but I know I’d rather do that than live without his love in my life.”

Master Yoda nods solemnly. “Know my Padawan well, I do. Leave you, he would never. More than the Order, he loves you, yes. Begrudge him his happiness, I cannot. Perhaps some changes, we must make, hmm.”

“Hey, not to mention, I  _ am  _ doing you this favor,” Anakin jokes. He receives a chuckle in response.

Master Yoda’s say is usually how things go in the Council and if he’s voting in favor and Master Windu is as well, then they might actually have a chance at reforming the Order’s ban on attachment. They might actually have a chance at a life together  _ as Jedi. _

He’s not going to count his birds before they hatch, but  _ imagine that. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are sprinting toward ROTS and the end of this story~ I anticipate a few more chapters and an epilogue before bidding this AU adieu


	22. Calm Before the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin struggles with visions, Obi-Wan starts campaigning.

The nightmares bleed into each other as they force their way into his sleeping brain. His mother weeping and saying his name as she is butchered by sand people, Padmé calling for him as she dies in childbirth, Obi-Wan being cut down by Maul and saying nothing, Ahsoka run through by Grievous and weakly begging for her Master, Rex and Cody struggling to maintain pressure on each other’s blaster wounds, Master Windu being dismembered by Dooku and pleading for his life.

Anakin sits straight up in bed, knocking his head hard against the top bunk, chest heaving as he struggles to catch his breath. He wishes Obi-Wan was here with him to hold him tight and let him cry as he struggles with these night terrors.

This feels prophetic, just like the dreams where his mother was dying. He’s had some of these small dreams before, just not so vividly. It hurts, it hurts so badly that Anakin weeps and clutches Obi-Wan’s pillow tight, breathing in the clean, floral scent of his lover’s hair in an attempt to calm himself.

Unable to catch a break in this fear, he goes to brew a cup of tea from Tatooine. Perhaps the reminder of his mother’s life will ease his fear. Obi-Wan saved her. His vision of her death didn’t come true. These ones won’t come true either, right? 

Right. None of these will come true. Padmé’s not even pregnant and Ahsoka barely sees combat lately as she’s so busy with dechipping. Still Maul has it out for Obi-Wan, his mother could be recaptured by Tuskens, Rex and Cody are in battle almost every day, and Master Windu could potentially meet Dooku in battle.

Everyone Anakin loves faces death every day and he has no way to keep them safe. Force, he wishes there were some way to gather them all up and keep them hidden away from anything that might do them harm.

Kriff, he really wishes Obi-Wan was here. He’s on Coruscant with the Council while Anakin is on the  _ Resolute  _ by himself. He can’t even hold him. It’s unfair. He’d ask Rex to cuddle, but that would be a little weird. He might just agree because Anakin ranks above him. That would be coercion and Anakin doesn’t want to do that.

Maybe just talk. He can  _ talk  _ to Rex.

He takes his cup of tea and heads in the direction of the barracks. 

He finds Rex reading a datapad, swiping his finger as he turns the pages.

“Oh, hello, General,” he says, flustered that Anakin snuck up on him. He didn’t even hear the door click open. His guard is completely down. What if that’s the way he dies?

“How many times do I have to ask you to call me Anakin?” 

“At least once more, General,” he replies, setting the datapad down on the table.

Anakin rolls his eyes and sits across the table from his friend. “What’re you reading?”

“Cody’s recent mission report. The Jedi Council keeps pulling General Kenobi out of the field so Cody has taken on his responsibility for the most part.”

“Yeah, they are doing that a lot nowadays,” Anakin says with a sigh. “I miss him.”

“You’ve been stressed lately,” Rex acknowledges. “I’m not like Cody, keeping a chart, but I notice. Commander Tano’s absence is draining you as well.”

“I miss her too. All I’ve got is you and the men right now. Yesterday Fives told me I look like a ghost.”

“Fives doesn’t hold back,” Rex says with a snort. “He is right though. All the color has left your face.”

“I keep having nightmares,” Anakin tells him, the whole reason for this trip to talk to him. “They’re pretty bad. Just a montage of awful things happening to the people I care about. Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, my mom, Padmé, Master Windu, you, Cody. My biggest fear is losing the people I love and that’s all I see when I close my eyes.”

“I didn’t realize you loved me, sir,” Rex says, clearing his throat to detract from the tears forming in his eyes.

“Of course I do, Rex,” Anakin replies, his own eyes watering. “You’re one of my best friends.”

“You’re one of mine. I love you just the way I love my brothers because you  _ are  _ my brother. I have millions of brothers, but you’re one of the most special.”

“You only have one sister though,” Anakin says with a grin, knowing just how important he and Ahsoka are to each other.

“She and Cody are my absolute best friends,” Rex tells him. Of course they are.

“I feel like we’re a family. Me and you and Cody and Ahsoka and Obi-Wan. Once the war is over, I want you to meet my mom. Hey, you can meet my mom at my wedding.”

“Wedding?” Rex asks, a bright smile on his face.

“Regardless of whether or not we’re kicked out of the Order, Obi-Wan and I are getting married. You and all the men are invited. I think Fives already knows about us.”

“Oh, he tried to tell me and Ahsoka, but we already knew. He promised he wouldn’t tell, despite the chance he has at winning several bets.”

“How did he find out?”

“The two of you need to stop kissing when you think nobody’s around or where you think you’re concealed.”

“And they’re betting on us?”

“Both your command and General Kenobi’s.”

Anakin sighs and weaves his artificial hand through his hair. “That’s a good distraction from the nightmares. Just the horror of my men thinking I’m sleeping with Obi-Wan.”

“Well, you  _ are. _ ”

“Yes, but we thought we were more discreet,” Anakin says with a self-conscious laugh.

Rex rolls his eyes. “Tell me more about the nightmares. That’s what you came to talk to me about. I assume it’s because General Kenobi isn’t here.”

“I mean, yes,” Anakin admits. “I’d love to say I was just checking in on my newly promoted commander, but that’d be a lie.”

“All of us die then?”

“You and Cody try to keep pressure on each other’s wounds and bleed out despite each other’s best efforts. Obi-Wan gets slain by Maul. My mom is tortured by the savages that Obi-Wan rescued her from. Ahsoka is killed by Grievous. Dooku cuts Master Windu into pieces. Padmé dies in childbirth.”

“She’s not— Well, I mean, not with  _ yours _ , right?”

“No. Definitely not. She’s marrying someone else. Maybe in the past, but definitely not now. She could very well be pregnant with her fiancé’s child, in which case I will probably have an anxiety heart murmur until she lives through childbirth.”

Rex smiles and pats Anakin on the forearm. “Any idea why you’d have nightmares? I don’t really know anything about the Force, but it sounds like someone might be manipulating you somehow. Dooku is pretty powerful, yeah? He could probably shape your dreams.”

Palpatine is showing him visions of his friends and family dying to entice him to use the dark side to save them. That must be it.

“Rex, you are a genius.”

“Well, I knew that,” he jokes. “I’m glad I could be of service, Gen— I mean,  _ Anakin. _ ”

Anakin beams at his friend finally,  _ finally  _ referring to him by name. He leans over the table and presses a kiss to Rex’s forehead. “You’re the best right-hand man a guy could ask for.”

“I don’t know about that. I don’t keep a chart of your wellbeing,” Rex says, gently teasing Cody in his absence.

“Thank the Force for that. Then I’d be a  _ certifiable _ disaster.”

—

“Master!”

Obi-Wan spins around just in time for Ahsoka to crash into him with a hug.

“It’s been a while, my dear Padawan,” he says with a bright grin.

“Just got back from the 327th. Master Yoda thinks it’s about time I take a break,” she tells him.

“Come, I’ll make us some tea. Well, I’ll have tea. You can have as much caf as you want, General,” he says, linking his arm with his Padawan’s. It’s an amiable silence as they make their way to the apartment they used to share.

She settles at the kitchen bar as Obi-Wan starts water in the kettle and measures grounds into the caf maker. “Thankfully Anakin had the good sense to put this back together before he left.” She laughs at Anakin’s antics as he grabs her favorite mug out of the cabinet and sets it down beside his own.

“How is he?” she asks. “He’s being sent from place to place with all of your men. Kind of like me with my group of medics and healers. I have no idea how we’re keeping this under wraps.”

“Anakin’s read is that Palpatine has no idea. He’s still trying to manipulate him, probably enticing him to join the Sith. He’ll likely do away with Dooku by the end of the war to take Anakin as his second-in-command.”

“The war is coming to an end, isn’t it?” she asks.

“I get that feeling. I’m not for certain. Force, I’m just waiting for all the death to be over.”

“We’re close. We’re so close. Barriss, Luminara, and I all have teams of Jedi healers and clone medics. I got through the 327th in less than two weeks. Luminara is going through the 41st, Barriss is so close with the 442nd. And Master Allie is leading Master Che and Healer Nema to remove them from any clone that lands on Coruscant.”

“She’s on the Council now. Master Allie, I mean. She took her late cousin’s seat.”

“What other changes have there been?” Ahsoka asks curiously.

“Master Koth was removed and Master Kolar took his place. One spot is still open. Master Yoda says we will need it. He’s being cryptic again.”

“Always an enigma, he is,” Ahsoka agrees in her best impression of the Grand Master.

They share peals of laughter at the terrible impersonation. Obi-Wan pours the hot water into his cup and hands Ahsoka her mug of caf, complete with two spoonfuls of sugar and a splash of cream.

“I miss you guys. It’s nice being a Knight and all, but I miss being your Padawan.”

“Oh, Ahsoka, you’ll always be our Padawan,” he assures her, taking her hand into his own. “I’m just glad you found purpose again. I was so afraid you’d leave.”

“I would have if it weren’t for you. If it weren’t for the two of you sticking it out despite what the Council would think about your  _ arrangement. _ ”

“Anakin and I have decided that we are going to take the arrangement a step forward. Regardless of the verdict the Council renders, he and I are going to be married once the war is over.”

Ahsoka’s big blue eyes go wide. “You’re going to  _ marry  _ him?”

“I am.”

“I’m invited, right?”

“No,” Obi-Wan says stone-faced. “The most important person in our lives is not invited.”

She grins as she laughs. “I really mean that much to you?”

“Of course. You are our Padawan. We started our little family because we had you. We’ve built onto it. Anakin obviously has his mom and step-family, but this is ours, mine and his. You and Padmé, Cody and Rex, Masters Windu and Yoda.”

“Do I get to meet Anakin’s mom at this wedding?”

“Oh, I’d be too frightened to try to keep Shmi away from her son’s wedding.”

“Probably helps that she owes you her life.”

Obi-wan shrugs. “She doesn’t owe me anything,” he insists. “I did what I needed to.”

“I’m sure she sees it that way,” Ahsoka says sarcastically. “That’s why she sends you care packages.”

“Some of those are for Anakin too.”

Ahsoka just rolls her eyes at him. “Does she know?”

“About me and Anakin? I’m not sure actually. I know Anakin went to her a lovelorn recent divorcé once upon a time. I know he’s afraid of people from Tatooine knowing. Our situation is one that has real social repercussions.”

“What part of it? The fact that you’re both men?” 

“Yes. He still struggles internally. He won’t admit it to me, but I know he’s at war with himself because of me.”

“Hey, it’s not because of you. It’s because of his environment as a child. Neither of you are at fault. Let’s blame the Hutts.”

“That works for me,” Obi-Wan decides. “Thank you, Ahsoka.”

“You should really listen to me more often.”

He rolls his eyes. She’s so like Anakin sometimes. Usually in a good way, but right now she’s teasing him. Far too much like Anakin.

—

“Padawan, a moment, may I have?”

Obi-Wan watches his fellow councilors file out, leaving him alone with his old Master.

“Of course, Master Yoda,” he says, moving chairs to sit beside him. “What do you need from me?”

“Speak to your first Master, I did, and speak to your lover, as well.”

Obi-Wan has to suppress a gag at Yoda saying the word  _ lover. _ “Oh?”

“A better Jedi than he could have trained, Qui-Gon believes you are.”

“That’s very kind of him,” Obi-Wan says. At first, they all dismissed Yoda’s insistence that he spoke to Qui-Gon as stress or senility, but Obi-Wan knows better than that. He spoke to Qui-Gon on Mortis, though he initially explained it away as a hallucination. He knows better than that too.

“Changes, we need to make. Too strict, the Code is in regards to attachment. Meant to be selfless, the Jedi are, looking out for the common good. Selfless, love itself is. Giving of oneself, love is. Stronger, you are, with Anakin Skywalker. Serve the galaxy, you can, as a bonded pair, at the discretion of the Council as a whole.”

Ah, yes. Of course. Master Yoda may be in favor of reform, but they have to convince the more conservative councilors. Part of Obi-Wan feels like he should be like a politician, campaigning for his cause, lobbying for the right to be a Jedi in love. Force, he hates politics, but this is life-changing business. He has to be a  _ little  _ political.

—

With Anakin’s consent, Obi-Wan takes a deep breath before knocking on Plo’s door. Of all of the councilors, he’s the most likely to support them. They share the common bond of endearment of Ahsoka. He musters a brave smile when Plo’s door slides open. 

“Obi-Wan, a pleasure to see you as always,” Plo Koon says, inviting Obi-Wan inside.

This was the easy part. It took a lot of courage and a swig of whiskey to get here, but he did. Now he has to bare his soul to a man who is both his peer and his elder at once. Every councilor is that to him.

“I have something to tell you,” he says a tad awkwardly. “I am in love.”

“Ki-Adi was right?” he asks. Obi-Wan nods bashfully, swearing his skin turns pink with embarrassment. “Anakin is a nice man and a powerful Jedi, but are you sure this is what you want?”

“We are engaged to be married,” Obi-Wan confesses, unable to look at Plo’s face. “Yoda and Mace have known for a while now, but they’ve filed the Jedi Council’s conversation about it to be discussed after the war. For now, we are in a sort of limbo.”

“You are telling me because you need allies on the Council when we vote for you to stay in or leave the Order.”

“I know you’re not the hardass Mundi is and I know you’re not worried about maintaining your place on the Council. I don’t expect you to have an answer right now, but I didn’t want you to be blindsided by this.”

“Love is selfless, as the Jedi are meant to be.”

“That’s what Master Yoda said. He thinks we can serve the galaxy as a bonded pair if that’s what the Council decides.”

The Kel Dor Master steeples his fingers and clearly thinks hard about this for several minutes. “You have my support. Of the ten people on the Council that are not you, you have the support of three. I recommend Shaak Ti, Kit, or Stass next. Kcaj will do whatever Ki-Adi does and Kolar is too afraid of being removed like his predecessor. Saesee could go either way, but all you need is six. Me, Mace, Yoda, and the three I recommended.”

“Thank you, Plo. I knew Ahsoka trusts you for a reason.”

“To be perfectly candid, I feel love too. I love little ‘Soka. She and my men are the closest I’ll ever come to children of my own and I love them all. Love and attachment aren’t necessarily a bad thing. Not by a long shot.”

Obi-Wan smiles. He’s right. Three down, three to go.

—

Anakin feels a sense of serious relief when a certain someone comes to his aid on Iridonia. He can feel Obi-Wan’s presence before his boots even hit the surface and he knows the tide has turned.

“Let’s move, people! Get the lead out and kill those clankers!” Rex shouts as the 212th fills in the gaps.

A certain footfall at his back is instantly recognizable. He spins and sees Obi-Wan right behind him, throwing his lightsaber at a droid and pulling it back to his hand. That is undoubtedly the hottest thing he’s ever seen.

“Hey, honey,” Anakin says. He sees nothing but droids and deems it safe to kiss him on the lips. Oh, they are  _ surrounded  _ by droids now. That’s fun.

The battle is a blur, a flurry of red and blue blaster bolts and pale blue flashes of lightsabers tearing through metal.

—

Usually Obi-Wan’s presence is enough to stave off nightmares, but these ones are unnatural, unlike anything he’s ever felt. Rex is right. These come straight from a Sith Lord.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” Obi-Wan prompts, waking up right beside him. Obi-Wan is so attuned to him that he’s always up with him on hard nights, holding him or making him tea or wrapping him in blankets.

“I keep seeing Maul kill you. It’s just a flash of black and red and your body drops. I keep seeing Grievous kill Ahsoka, Dooku kill Windu, Tuskens kill Mom. I keep seeing Rex and Cody dying. I keep seeing Padmé die in childbirth. Rex thought maybe it’s Dooku making me see things to convince me to use the dark side. I’m taking it a step further and saying it’s Palpatine,” Anakin says as Obi-Wan leaves a comforting kiss on his temple. “He wants me. He wants the raw power of the Chosen One on his side, his to control. He must think the fear of losing who I love will make me turn to the dark side to save them.”

“You haven’t been sleeping at all, have you? Oh, my dearest, why didn’t you comm me?”

“I didn’t want to be a burden. You’ve been so busy with the Council stuff and I didn’t want to interfere. We have to put the Jedi before ourselves, right?”

“My darling love, you will  _ never  _ be a burden to me,” Obi-Wan says, taking Anakin’s hand and placing it on his chest, over the pendant Anakin carved for him. “I’ve pledged my love and life to you. You would never be a burden, I promise. The Council stuff, while important, is nowhere near as important as a Sith Lord implanting false visions in your head or the emotional hardship that you’re experiencing as a result. Any of my fellow councilors would see it that way.”

“I should try to get some rest before we get to Yerbana.”

Anakin knows that Obi-Wan won’t be going back to sleep. He’ll probably just hold him until they get there. Anakin gets the sinking feeling that Obi-Wan will spend the night awake running his hands through his hair as he sleeps.

—

“Bravo, Anakin. You've done it again,” Obi-Wan says, clapping sarcastically.

“Oh, I can't take all the credit. Your state of helplessness really sold them on my surrender talk,” Anakin says with a teasing grin.

“Always glad to help, my friend.” The hidden subtext is there.  _ My love. _ Anakin can see it in the blue of Obi-Wan’s eyes. They can’t say it, can’t  _ show _ it in the audience of clones and droids, but it’s there in his eyes.

He’s about to drop his gaze and join his men, but the comlink on his arm goes off.

Ahsoka is trying to contact them, and it’s apparently  _ very _ important.

In fact, it  _ is  _ very important.

_ Lady Bo-Katan and I have located the renegade Sith Lord, Maul. And if we move swiftly, we believe we can capture him. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you may recognize the exchange at the end of the chapter from the siege of mandalore arc! the finish line is in sight.


	23. Life Doesn't Discriminate Between the Sinners and the Saints

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan goes to Utapau, Ahsoka goes to Mandalore, Anakin has to face a demon.

This has to be a trick.

There’s no reason for Grievous to kidnap Palpatine from Coruscant unless it’s a trick. A very elaborate trick, costly in credits and blood, but a trick nonetheless.

This is going to be how Obi-Wan dies. At least it’s where Palpatine would have him die. He’s going to die and provide the trigger that turns Anakin to the dark side. He’s going to die and it’ll cause Anakin to fall to the dark side to prevent anyone else from dying. Sure, this isn’t how his visions showed it playing out — in fact Maul is being cornered by Ahsoka at this very moment — but fear doesn’t follow logic.

He doesn’t know how to stop it from happening, even with the knowledge that it’s going to happen. He doesn’t know if it’s going to be Grievous or Dooku or a random droid. He’s not sure that Palpatine won’t just do it himself while Anakin’s back is turned.

All he knows is that today is going to be the day he dies.

“You look scared,” Anakin says as they make the jump to hyperspace. “You don’t think the Chancellor is in any danger, so what’s the look on your face about?”

“ _ I  _ am in danger,” he replies ever so gently. Better to tear the bacta-patch off quickly. He relays his fears to Anakin, who eventually gets overwhelmed and pulls Obi-Wan into a bone-cracking embrace.

“I’m not going to let them hurt you. Even if it means letting Chancellor die, I’m not letting them hurt you.”

“You have a duty as a general in the GAR to serve its commander-in-chief to the best of your ability.”

“Believe me, if it were someone like Bail Organa, I’d respect your wishes to put the politician ahead of you, but this guy is a megalomaniac. I can’t put his life before yours. I  _ won’t. _ ”

Anakin makes a decision, maybe the  _ wrong  _ decision considering how many clones are about, and kisses him full on the lips. Something clatters onto the ground near them, indicating that at least one person saw what Anakin’s impulsivity wrought.

“That was a mistake,” Obi-Wan decides, but Anakin just kisses him again. 

“The war is almost over,” Anakin says so softly, brushing his fingertips over Obi-Wan’s cheek. “We won’t need to hide anymore. Besides, my men are discreet.”

Obi-Wan nods and lets it happen again. After all, it might be their last.

—

Anakin doesn’t know how he got here. He doesn’t know how he took Dooku’s hands, he doesn’t know how he held two lightsabers to his foe’s throat, hearing his allegedly friendly mentor tell him to kill him. To take Dooku’s life.

He feels hot angry tears coming to his eyes. He hasn’t felt Obi-Wan extinguish in the Force, so he doesn’t have that to avenge. He’s just standing here, unable to think outside Dooku’s pleading.

“Good, Anakin! Good! I  _ knew  _ you could do it! Kill him, kill him now,” Palpatine orders, his voice completely different from the kindly affectation he usually uses.

Here he has Dooku in his grasp, helpless, desperate, begging for his life. 

“Chancellor, Please! Please, you promised me _immunity_. We had a _deal!_ _Help_ me!”

“I can’t do it, I just… I can’t. It’s not the Jedi way. No, he’s an unarmed prisoner. He’s… He’s my prisoner,” he decides, the tears falling from his eyes furious, pulling the blades from Dooku’s throat. “This is a war crime. I can’t.”

The grin on Palpatine’s face falters as Anakin puts the sabers on his belt and uses the Force to easily undo his restraints.

Missiles impact the general’s quarters they’re occupying, sending them all skittering across the room toward Obi-Wan.

Anakin kneels beside his love, noticing the blood caked into his hair. Not too much blood, not a huge gash on his head. He’s likely just concussed and passed out. Not a great combination, but it’s good enough for Anakin to know he’s not dead. The touch of Anakin’s fingers to his throat tells him his pulse is strong. He feels him in the Force, knowing he’s breathing well and his bones are all intact.

If he’s going to get out with Palpatine  _ and  _ Dooku, Obi-Wan will have to help out, particularly because Dooku doesn’t have hands.

He tries his hardest to rouse him, the man who was so convinced he’d die, knowing that this was supposed to be his death.

“Leave him, Anakin. There is no time,” Palpatine insists. “This whole spire may be about to break free. Leave him or we’ll never make it.”

“Then we’ll all be adrift together. His fate will be the same as ours,” Anakin says tersely. “You’re a fool if you think I’ll leave him. You know how I feel for him.”

“A love as powerful as life itself,” Palpatine says, disdain barely veiled in his voice. 

Obi-Wan is right, there is no way Palpatine can win as long as he’s alive. Either he dies or Palpatine.

—

“Are you coming, Master Kenobi?” Anakin asks coyly. He’s called him Master Kenobi since they were kids and it bothered Obi-Wan back then, but ever since it became true, it’s made him uncontrollably.

“Oh no. I'm not brave enough for politics,” he says. “I have to report to the Council. Besides, someone needs to be the poster boy.”

“Hold on, this whole operation was your idea.” 

“Let us not forget, Anakin, that you rescued me from the Buzz Droids. And you literally disarmed and captured Count Dooku, and you rescued the Chancellor while I lay unconscious.”

“Your strength gives me strength,” Anakin says honestly. “I couldn’t have done it without holding your hand in the Force.”

“Anakin, let's be fair. Today you are the hero and you deserve your  _ glorious _ day with the politicians.” Maybe he’s right, but he’s also being kind of a dick. Anakin dislikes politicians as much as Obi-Wan does, but  _ he  _ has to be punished? Unfair.

“Alright. But you owe me one, and not for saving your skin for the tenth time.”

“ _ Ninth _ time. That business on Cato Neimoidia doesn't— doesn’t count. I'll see you at the briefing.”

Anakin bites his lip and takes a step forward, back onto the shuttle. Glancing around to see everyone is more occupied with the Chancellor and Dooku, he kisses him softly.

“Hopefully I’ll be able to give you an update on Ahsoka,” Obi-Wan says, squeezing Anakin’s hand thrice.

“Hopefully she’s alright,” Anakin agrees. “Then after the briefing, maybe we can go home and decompress and maybe we could celebrate?”

Obi-Wan rolls his beautiful blue-grey eyes dramatically. Yes, he picked up on the subtext of the word ‘celebrate’. Anakin’s sure he’s shouting in the Force  _ fuck me, Obi-Wan, top me, dick me down, rearrange my guts. _

“If you can behave yourself with the politicians, then we’ll talk,” Obi-Wan replies to the thoughts radiating out of his head.

“You look hot as hell right now.”

“I’m covered in dust and my head is bleeding.”

“And your point is?”

“Go. I think I see Padmé waiting for you.”

Anakin sighs, wishing he could just avoid all this, but knowing Obi-Wan is right and he has to give some face time. And he really does want to see Padmé.

“Fine. An hour with the politicians, then I’m out.”

“An hour,” Obi-Wan agrees.

—

“You missed the report on the Outer Rim sieges.”

“I'm sorry, I was held up. Great news, actually. Let’s hear yours first.”

“In short, they are going very well. Saleucami has fallen, and Quinlan has moved his troops to Boz Pity,” Obi-Wan says. “Ahsoka and the 322nd haven’t checked in, which suggests they’re in the thick of it. I still feel her strength in the Force, far away as she is. She’s alive.”

“What's wrong, then?”

“The Senate is expected to vote more executive powers to the Chancellor today.”

“Well, fuck.”

Obi-Wan frowns. “He’s requested your presence again.”

“What for?”

“He would not say.”

“He didn't inform the Council? That's unusual, isn't it? Usually he gives some flimsy pretext.”

“All of this is unusual, and it's making me feel uneasy.”

“He tried to make me leave you behind,” Anakin blurts out. He looks at Obi-Wan intensely and says, “I’d never leave you behind.”

“I know, my love.”

The term of affection sends a shiver of pure  _ want _ coursing through his veins. He closes the gap between them, kissing Obi-Wan slowly and deeply and intensely.

“I love you,” Anakin says between bold and brazen kisses. Any Jedi could walk into the war room at any moment, but he needs him so desperately that he doesn’t care.

“Anakin, not here. It’s an entirely bad idea to do this where we might get caught.”

“War’s almost over. Soon as we get Grievous, we can be open about it,” Anakin murmurs against the skin of Obi-Wan’s neck. There’s no way Obi-Wan’s going to be able to hide the mark Anakin is sucking there and it sends a thrill up his spine. “Let’s go to our bed and you can fuck me senseless.”

“ _ After  _ your meeting with the Chancellor.”

Anakin forgot about that. Dammit. “Fine.  _ After _ . That man is such a cock-block.”

Obi-Wan laughs at him and ruffles his hair and Anakin beams in the Force. 

“What was your great news?”

Kark, he forgot about that too. “I mean it’s great news, but it’s also scary news. Padmé and Palo are expecting a baby. Six months along. My fear of her dying in childbirth is going to eat away at me for the next few months.”

“She’ll be fine. I promise,” Obi-Wan says. “We can talk more in a while, but for now go see the Chancellor.”

And he begrudgingly does so.

—

It’s why Yoda kept that spot open. He somehow knew it would be needed. Anakin is going to be on the Council as a spy for the Chancellor.

He struggles to process this information, struggles until he’s home and gets a chance to cry. 

“Anakin?”

Obi-Wan walks out of the fresher, still damp from a shower, to find Anakin just before he collapses face-down on the couch. He rushes over and kneels down beside Anakin, curling his fingers into his hair.

“My darling, what’s wrong?”

“He wants me to spy on the Council. He’s putting me on the Council.”

“But the Council elects its own members.”

“I know!” Anakin exclaims between sobs. “I don’t know what to do. This isn’t  _ right. _ Obi-Wan, I… I don’t want to do this. It’s been hard enough spying on him, but being a double agent? I’m not cut out for this. I want the war to end. I want to be with my family. My whole family. Even my step-family and Palo.  _ All  _ the clones. Fuck, what are the clones going to do once the war is over? Kark, sorry I’m so emotional.”

“You don’t have to apologize to me. I only want to make sure you are alright. I’m assuming the emergency meeting of the Council has to do with this. Mace told me to inform you of your invitation.”

“I don’t want to move,” Anakin declares.

“Go take a shower and we’ll go, alright?”

“Can you wash my hair for me?” Anakin asks, knowing Obi-Wan will. Anakin’s a sucker for a good scalp massage and he really needs it. 

“Of course, love.”

—

“Allow this appointment lightly, the Council does not. Disturbing is this move by Chancellor Palpatine,” Master Yoda declares. 

“I understand,” Anakin says. “It’s not something I particularly wanted either. I’m glad to leave as soon as we’ve taken care of him.

“Like it or not, you are on this Council for the time being,” Master Windu says. “Take a seat, Master Skywalker.

Master? He’s a  _ Master? _ He’s stunned as he sits between Kolar and Kcaj.  _ He’s a karking MASTER? _

Anakin barely pays attention to the rest of the meeting, something about Yoda taking clones to Kashyyyk to help the Wookiees. He doesn’t know and, frankly, he doesn’t care.

“I think I should tell him you didn’t make me a Master,” Anakin blurts out. “I’m going to tell him you begrudgingly allowed me to join the Council, but that I haven’t been awarded the title. It’ll inform him of my alleged shaken faith.”

Obi-Wan looks at him and nods. “That’s a clever idea.”

“Alright then, Knight Skywalker,” Master Windu says with a nod. “I anticipate he’ll contact you again tomorrow.”

“I don’t know if I want him to or not,” Anakin admits. “We’ll see.”

—

Anakin has never been to the ballet. He’s never wanted to go to the ballet. It’s admittedly a pretty show, but he was called to the opera house for a reason and it’s a reason he really doesn’t like.

“You wanted to see me, Chancellor,” he says, crouching down to the old man.

“Yes, Anakin! Come closer. I have good news. Our clone intelligence units have discovered the location of General Grievous. He is hiding in the Utapau system,” he says delightfully. Did the clones find him or did Palpatine tell him where to go? Probably the latter.

“At last, we'll be able to capture that monster and end this war.”

“I would worry about the collective wisdom of the Council if they didn't select you for this assignment. You are the best choice by far.”

Knowing the Council, they’ll go with Obi-Wan. Maybe Anakin too, but they’ll likely keep him contained to Coruscant for his assignment of being chummy with the Chancellor. He’s going to be paranoid about Obi-Wan getting face-to-face with a monster and dying, but he has to have faith or he’ll go crazy.

“Mm. Sit down,” he says before telling everyone else in the box, “Leave us.”

Anakin sits down next to Palpatine and surreptitiously taps the comlink under his sleeve. The Council gets to hear this all in real time. Kark, if Palpatine brings up the nature of his relationship with Obi-Wan… 

The Chancellor leans over to him. “Anakin, you know I'm not able to rely on the Jedi Council. If they haven't included you in their plot, they soon will.”

“I'm not sure I understand.”

“You must sense what I have come to suspect. The Jedi Council want control of the Republic. They're planning to betray me.”

“I don't think—”

“Anakin, search your feelings. You know, don't you?”

“I know they don't trust you.” 

“Hmm. Or the Senate, or the Republic, or democracy for that matter.”

Anakin can feel his insides churning as Palpatine disparages the people he knows and loves. Even Master Mundi doesn’t deserve this and Master Mundi hates him.

“I have to admit my trust in them has been shaken,” Anakin says carefully, spacing out his lies.

“Why? They asked you to do something that made you feel dishonest, didn't they?” Anakin doesn’t speak a word. He merely looks down at his boots. Acting is easy. He could be in a holodrama. “They asked you to spy on me, didn't they?”

“I don’t, uh, I don't know what to say,” Anakin admits, unsure of how much he should give him.

“Remember back to your early teachings. Anakin. ‘All those who gain power are afraid to lose it.’ Even the Jedi.”

“The Jedi use their power for good,” Anakin insists, maybe a little too zealously.

“Good is a point of view, Anakin. The Sith and the Jedi are similar in almost every way, including their quest for greater power. “

“The Sith rely on their passion for their strength. They think inward, only about themselves.”

“And the Jedi don't?”

“The Jedi are selfless. They only care about others.” Which is exactly Anakin’s rationale as to why he and Obi-Wan can be in love. It’s care for another. Right?

“Would they still care about you if they knew what I know?”

“I—” Shit. Kark. Fuck. Kriff.  _ Don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it. Not while they can hear. _

“Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?”

“No,” Anakin replies honestly. He’s not sure he  _ wants  _ to hear it, but listening to a Sith story confirms for certain what they already knew. Palpatine is the Sith Lord.

“I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midi-chlorians to create life. He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying.”

Ah. This is why he’s been implanting the visions into Anakin’s head. He had a feeling, but once more, this confirms it. They’ve been right all along. The Dark Lord of the Sith has been living under their noses all along and he’s trying to convince Anakin that the people he loves are going to die unless he intervenes.

“He could actually save people from death?”

“The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.”

“What happened to him?”

“He became so powerful, the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep.” He smiles that simpering smile that brings bile up Anakin’s throat. Darth Plagueis was  _ his _ Master and he was cowardly enough to kill him in his sleep. “It’s ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.”

“Is it possible to learn this power?” Anakin asks, hoping his voice sounds desperate.

“Not from a Jedi.”

“Then who?”

Anakin hates that grin.

—

“You're going to need me on this one, Obi-Wan.”

“Oh, I agree. However it may turn out just to be a wild bantha chase.”

“I don’t want you to go,” Anakin says, taking fistfuls of Obi-Wan’s robes. “I already worry about Ahsoka and Rex. Don’t make me worry about you and Cody too. I don’t want to lose you. I can’t. Obi-Wan, I  _ can’t _ .”

“Oh, Anakin,” Obi-Wan says softly, “I will be just fine. Don't worry. I have enough clones with me to take three systems the size of Utapau. I think I'll be able to handle the situation, even without your help.”

“Well, there's always a first time,” Anakin teases. 

Obi-Wan laughs. “I suppose there is.”

“Obi-Wan, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have ever told anyone about us. You didn’t deserve that. He doesn’t deserve to know about how happy you make me.”

Obi-Wan gazes deeply into Anakin’s eyes and says, “I know it can’t be easy loving me. I’m uptight and I can be overly zealous about the Code and—”

“Loving you is easy, Obi-Wan. It’s as natural to me as breathing. I need you like I need oxygen. I need you to come back to me, okay?”

Obi-Wan takes Anakin’s face into his hands, slipping his fingers into his hair the slightest bit. He rests their foreheads together and maintains that firm eye contact. “I will. I vow to you I will,” Obi-Wan says. Anakin covers Obi-Wan’s hands with his own, wanting so desperately to remain in this moment indefinitely. “I love you so very deeply. Please stay safe around that monster.”

“I’m already counting down the minutes until I see you again. Once Grievous is dead, I might kiss you properly right in front of the Council.”

“While you’re here, consider talking to Shaak and Kit about us. Stass is on Saleucami, so she’s unable to be outright recruited to the cause, but those two might be swayed.”

“Sounds like I’ll have my plate full. I can do it, though,” Anakin says brightly.

“Good. I love you, Anakin, so very much.”

“I love you too,” Anakin says, pressing a kiss to Obi-Wan’s cheek. “May the Force be with you.”

“May the Force be with you too, my dearest.”

—

“Hey, glad I caught you two together,” Anakin says upon finding Kit Fisto and Shaak Ti in the Temple Gardens. “Is this a bad time?”

“Not at all, Master Skywalker,” Kit says with a grin. “C’mon, take a seat.”

“Glad you caught us why?” Shaak Ti asks curiously.

“I’m sure it hasn’t escaped you that Obi-Wan and I share a bit of an attachment.”

“A bit?” Fisto repeats, a laugh escaping his chest. “You two are fused at the hip.”

“You’ve come to tell us you’re in love,” Shaak Ti astutely remarks. “I’m assuming you’ll need allies on the Council if you intend to stay Jedi and stay together.”

“Yes, to all of that.”

Kit shrugs. “Hey, who are we to stand in the way?”

“You’ve saved the clones with your discovery,” Shaak Ti says. “I owe you a debt of gratitude. Of course I will vote in your favor. You and Obi-Wan balance each other well.”

Anakin feels like he’s floating. He’s going to marry Obi-Wan  _ as a Jedi. _ They can get married here, right by the flame-roses.

The happiness in the garden is interrupted by a guard summoning the three councilors to the briefing room.

—

“Dooku was killed in his cell. He was killed in the same way Letta Turmond was, though nobody was there to be a patsy,” Master Windu reports. “The irony doesn’t escape us that he was choked to death with an invisible hand.”

Anakin tries his hardest not to laugh because this is  _ serious _ . Palpatine silenced the man who could’ve turned on him. Either an outright admission or Maul’s capture are their only hopes.

“What are we going to do? The Senate will lose their minds,” Anakin remarks. Padmé won’t. She’s always so calm and collected. 

“We’ll have to—”

A holo pops up. It’s Cody. Anakin is glad to see his face.

_ “Master Windu, may I interrupt? General Kenobi has made contact with General Grievous, and we have begun our attack.” _

“Thank you, Commander. Anakin, deliver this report to the Chancellor. He already knows about Dooku, but his reaction to Obi-Wan cornering Grievous might inform us of his plans.

“Yes, Master,” Anakin says with a nod, worry for Obi-Wan worming its way into his heart. He has to focus on his own mission. Obi-Wan promised he’d come back. He has to hold onto that promise.

—

His comlink is expertly hidden between layers of his robes. They’ve tested this out. They’ll hear just fine. It still makes him feel a little sick.

“Chancellor, we have just received a report from Master Kenobi. He has engaged General Grievous,” he informs his old mentor.

“We can only hope that your beloved is up to the challenge.” Anakin feels his blood run cold. There’s no way in hell that Master Mundi is going to let that one slide. No, this just became the most flustering attempt at espionage he’s undertaken.

“I should be there with him. I worry for him.”

“It is upsetting to me to see that the Council doesn't seem to fully appreciate your talents. Don't you wonder why they won't make you a Jedi Master?”

_ They did. _ “I wish I knew. More and more I get the feeling that I am being excluded from the Council.” Lies. He’s felt more included than ever before. “I know there are things about the Force that they are not telling me.” 

He’s all but shouting  _ SHOW ME THE DARK SIDE.  _ He wonders if he’s being subtle enough, but they’re almost there.  _ Almost _ .

“They don't trust you, Anakin. They see your future. They know your power will be too strong to control. You must break through the fog of lies the Jedi have created around you. Let me help you to know the subtleties of the Force.”

On the inside, Anakin is riding high, so close to his quarry, but on the outside he’s cold and clammy. 

“How do you know the ways of the Force?” Anakin asks carefully.

“My mentor taught me everything about the Force, even the nature of the dark side.”

“You know the dark side?”

“Anakin, if one is to understand the great mystery, one must study all its aspects, not just the dogmatic, narrow view of the Jedi. If you wish to become a complete and wise leader, you must embrace a larger view of the Force. Be careful of the Jedi, Anakin. Only through me can you achieve a power greater than any Jedi. Learn to know the dark side of the Force and you will be able to save your family and lover from certain death.”   
  


“What did you say?” Anakin counters, feeling like his heart is about to jump out of his throat. Just a  _ smidge  _ more.  _ C’mon Palps, drop the act. _ Drop that kindly smile and get on with it, you old prune.

“Use my knowledge, I beg you.”

Anakin ignites his lightsaber, holding it to Palpatine’s throat. “ _ You're _ the Sith Lord.”

“I know what has been troubling you. Listen to me. Don't continue to be a pawn of the Jedi Council! Ever since I've known you, you've been searching for a life greater than that of an ordinary Jedi, a life of significance, of conscience.” Anakin pushes the blade forward the slightest bit. Palpatine doesn’t even flinch. “Are you going to kill me?”

“I would certainly like to.”

“I know you would. I can feel your anger. It gives you focus, makes you stronger.”

He  _ is  _ angry, but he’s not going to let it get the better of him. As much as he’d like to, he’s not going to kill Palpatine to avenge everything that has been lost to the war.

“I am going to turn you over to the Jedi Council.”

“Of course you should. But you're not sure of their intentions, are you? What if I am right and they are plotting to take over the Republic?”

He knows they’re not. He has complete trust in the Council, even in Master Mundi. “I will quickly discover the truth of all this.”

“You have great wisdom, Anakin. Know the power of the dark side. The power to save Obi-Wan.”

Anakin briefly thinks of the comlink in his arm, knows what the Council is listening to. They know now. All of them.

There are more important things to worry about. Surely they all think the same.

—

“Master Windu, I must talk to you,” Anakin says, picking up a light jog to reach him, Agen Kolar, Kit Fisto, and Saesee Tiin about to board a gunship.

“I know, my graduated Padawan. We’re taking the comm recording to Bail Organa, then we are going to demand Palpatine relinquish emergency powers now that Grievous is out of the picture.”

“Wait until the people turn against him,  _ please.  _ He will kill all of you on sight.”

“It’s four on one,” Kit says. “We’ll be fine, Anakin.”

“You will need my help if you are going to arrest him.”

“For your own good, stay out of this affair.”

“I  _ must _ go, Master.”

“No. For now, remain here,” Master Windu commands sternly. “We expect to hear from your Padawan any time now. Wait here for her transmission.”

“Yes, Master.”

They caught him. Obi-Wan is safe and Grievous is dead. Ahsoka is fighting a Sith Lord too, but she’s strong and confident and can handle it with Bo-Katan and Rex’s help.

He’s about halfway to the Halls of Healing to check in on Barriss and Luminara before going to the briefing room when he hears blaster fire coming from that direction.  _ No, no, no, no, no.  _

Anakin sprints back to the hangar to grab a speeder and race toward the Senate building. Master Windu is in danger.

—

“What have you done?” he demands angrily, looking at the dead bodies on the ground. The Masters he knew, the Master who raised him.

“I am putting you on the path to fulfilling your destiny, Anakin. Become my apprentice. Learn to use the dark side of the Force.”

“I won’t! My only master will ever be Master Windu!”

“You’ve seen what I can do. With your old Master gone, who else is going to teach you how to protect your friends? Who is going to keep you from losing your lover?”

“To protect them, I will do whatever you ask.”

“Good.”

“Don’t let harm come to them. Please, help me stop these nightmares.”

“To cheat death is a power only one has achieved, but if we work together, I know we can discover the secret.”

Anakin kneels before Palpatine. “I pledge myself to your teachings. To the ways of the Sith.”

“Good. Good. The Force is strong with you. A powerful Sith you will become. Henceforth, you shall be known as Darth… Vader.”

“Thank you, my Master,” he manages through gritted teeth.

“Rise, Darth Vader.”

Rise, he does. Rises and runs Palpatine through with his lightsaber.

“I know you put those images in my head,” he whispers before withdrawing his blade.

His old mentor’s body slumps to the ground. It’s finally done.

Anakin sinks into a sitting position, weeping over his Master’s body.

He hears a crackly groan come from Master Windu.  _ He’s alive! _ Anakin thanks every deity in existence that Obi-Wan nagged him into keeping emergency first-aid in his belt. He pulls a stim out and injects it into the side of Master Windu’s neck. It’s just enough to stabilize him until he can get into a bacta tank. 

The other three aren’t so lucky. Anakin taps the comlink on his forearm to call for a medic. He’s sure he sounds hysterical, but this is a moment that warrants hysteria.

Master Windu is taken to the Senate med center while cuffs click around Anakin’s wrists. Getting arrested for treason is so worth it.

—

Anakin brightens when he sees Obi-Wan outside of his cell.

He hadn’t felt him through the Force because of the suppressor cuffs, but seeing him now, seeing him so beautiful and bright… He’s alive.

“Obi-Wan,” he says, hands up against the barrier. “I hoped you were alright.”

“Yes, I’m fine. Ahsoka and the 322nd have Maul and are en route. Mace has some severe organ damage, so he’s in a bacta tank. A few of the healers were killed by clones in the process of getting their chips removed. Luckily we haven’t faced many casualties. Fewer than two dozen, though Kcaj was one of them, which makes four casualties on the Council. I can’t imagine how many deaths were prevented by you insisting Tup be returned to Coruscant.”

“Were you able to find out how Palpatine did it?”

“Yes. Kit had a recording device on him when he died at the request of Bail Organa. It kept recording and captured what happened between the slaying and naming you Darth Vader. Anakin, you did so well.”

Anakin sinks to the ground and sobs, curling up into a ball and crying. Obi-Wan makes a hand gesture and the barrier goes down. He sits down beside Anakin, pulls him into his lap, lets him weep.

“It’s okay, my love, take your time.” Obi-Wan strokes Anakin’s hair. “You saved us all. You saved the Republic.”

Obi-Wan makes another hand gesture and the Force-suppressants fall from his wrists. Anakin is hit all of a sudden by the warmth and love radiating from Obi-Wan in the Force. Anakin lets himself be overtaken by the feeling, melting into a puddle in Obi-Wan’s lap.

“Are you going to get in trouble for this?” he asks once he can think again.

“No, it’s alright. Master Yoda and Interim-Chancellor Organa said you were to be released. Yoda thought it’d be a bit easier for you if I were the one to do it.”

“He was right,” Anakin says, further melting into his lover.

“Come now, let’s get you something to eat and a nice bed to sleep in. Do you want breakfast in bed?”

“I’d rather just cuddle.”

“That can be arranged.”

Anakin, for the first time since Obi-Wan left for Utapau, smiles, even as a fresh batch of tears shake loose.


	24. Settle Down Inside My Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Votes are taken, vows are spoken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a while between writer's block and some issues with my laptop. I'm not happy with it, but here it is. *sad trombone noise*

Obi-Wan is nervous. He’s unsure if he’s ever felt so nervous in his life, but here he is, a bundle of nerves as he walks into the Council Chambers.

It’s somber to gather knowing that a third of them will never show up. Kit and Tiin and Kolar and Kcaj are gone.

Stass greets him first. She’s just returned from Saleucami. Shaak greets him second — the last time they saw one another was taking clones to Mustafar to retrieve the Separatist leaders. The rest of them give a bow of respect that Obi-Wan’s not sure he deserves.

It’s their first Council meeting following the deactivation of the droid armies and the arrests of the Separatists.

It’s the first meeting during peacetime.

Obi-Wan is a fountain of anxiety, barely quelled by Anakin’s arrival five minutes later. He can feel the anxiety rushing off of him too. This might be it for them as Jedi. They’ve already decided they can’t choose being Jedi over each other. Padmé offered them a place to stay if they’re instantly evicted from the Temple, but even that sense of security doesn’t help to calm the nerves.

“First order of business,” Mace says as he reads the agenda from a datapad, “is a vote that will likely lead to many other votes on the topic of reform. Anakin, would you like to take it from here?”

Anakin nods and stands up from his seat. He clears his throat and wrings his hands and says, “I’ve got some baggage from where I grew up. Ones about love that are different from the ones you people have about it. By ‘you people’ I mean the Code. I’m afraid to tell people back home that I’m in love because I’m in love with a man. I’m afraid to tell you because he’s a councilor. Obi-Wan and I are romantically, um, involved.”

“That became clear from the recordings from Palpatine’s office. The entire Senate knows now,” Master Plo says, a hint of teasing in his voice. 

Anakin gets a little flustered in the most adorable way. “You’ve all known for years that we’re inseparably attached. We have been since we were young, but, uh, Obi-Wan, you’re better at articulating things than me. Do you want to continue, Great Negotiator?”

“Sure,” Obi-Wan says, though he doesn’t stand the way Anakin did. “We don’t believe our attachment has affected our abilities to operate as effective Jedi. Not while we were codependent friends and not in the year since we became something more than that. One may venture to say that such attachment has made us better. Palpatine tempted Anakin with the dark side by feeding him visions of his loved ones dying and claiming that he alone had the key to stop it from happening. Anakin’s love for those he holds dear reminded him that they would rather die than have him become a creature of the dark.”

“I think my love for others is what made me the Chosen One,” Anakin says boldly.

“You really love each other,” Stass says after a moment of contemplation. “You were still able to carry out your duties.”

“Carry them out well, you did,” Yoda declares. The praise from his Master makes Obi-Wan glow. “Without you, win the war, the Republic would have not.”

“He is correct,” Shaak Ti agrees. “Were it not for Anakin, the Order would have been destroyed by Palpatine’s Order 66. He destroyed the Sith.”

“Yes, and Kenobi bested Grievous with naught but a blaster if Commander Cody is to be believed,” Ki-Adi says. Obi-Wan almost faints.  _ Master Mundi is  _ praising _ him. _

Mace gives his former Padawan a slight smile. “I’d be dead if it weren’t for Anakin. Sure, he disobeyed orders to rush in and save us, but he saved the Republic from Palpatine and whatever lies he was going to concoct about the Jedi’s plot to steal his power.”

“Attachment is not a bad thing in general. I am very attached to every man in the 104th,” Plo tells them. “It made us very effective as a battalion. It’s what made the Wolfpack unstoppable under heavy fire. They are the sons I will never have. They call me  _ buir _ , which is the Mando’a term for a parent.”

“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t attached to my lineage. Even Master Yoda has his and the younglings he takes a shine to,” Mace points out. “We all have attachments.”

“Do we have the right to hold another vote if any of us change our mind on this reform later?” Ki-Adi asks.

“Sure,” Mace agrees. “So let’s start. On the subject of reforming the ban on attachment, how do you vote? Anakin and Obi-Wan, you automatically abstain as you are the topic of this vote.”

“Aye,” Yoda says.

They go around in a circle. Anakin locks eyes with Obi-Wan as they hear in succession six  _ aye _ s.

Obi-Wan lets out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. Anakin has tears glittering in his eyes.  _ Even Master Ki-Adi-Mundi. _

“To be clear, does this mean we can get married? That’s really all I want right now,” Anakin says, looking right into Obi-Wan’s eyes.

“You may as well,” Ki-Adi replies. “It’s only a matter of time before someone in the Senate leaks the more intimate details of those recordings to holonet reporters.”

Anakin beams and his presence in the Force bubbles. This could not have gone better. They’re going to celebrate with a glass of sparkling wine.

—

They forget the sparkling wine not long after it’s poured as Anakin takes Obi-Wan’s face into his hands and kisses him hard. “I love you,” he says, resting his forehead against Obi-Wan’s, looking deeply into his eyes.

“I sure hope you would, considering what we just told the Council,” Obi-Wan replies, earning an exasperated sigh from his friend. “I know, I know, I’m annoying.”

“At least you’re aware of it,” Anakin says, a teasing lilt in his voice. His lips are on Obi-Wan’s again, firm and forceful. Anakin loves with so much strength that sometimes it carries over into physicality, leading to kisses hard enough to almost bruise.

“I love you too,” Obi-Wan assures him, knowing that sometimes Anakin needs verbal confirmation that his feelings are reciprocated. It leaves Anakin with a smile as they share their next kiss.

“Can’t wait to marry you,” Anakin murmurs as he nips at Obi-Wan’s lower lip. “We can’t have a real honeymoon, but I think we can have a small one right now.”

“We’re not married yet. How would it be a honeymoon?”

“I’m  _ trying  _ to be cute. What I’m getting at is I want you to fuck me hard enough I can’t feel my legs.”

Obi-Wan is about to agree when the comlink on Anakin’s arm goes off. He groans frustratedly as he taps it.

Obi-Wan is glad he did because it’s Sabé telling them Padmé is in premature labor and Palo is on Ryloth for an art exhibit. She needs someone to hold her hands and apparently those people need to be Anakin and Obi-Wan.

“There has been no time for me to get laid since Grievous attacked the stupid capital,” Anakin complains as he pulls on his robe. “We kept saying later, later, later and here I am, the Chosen One, destroyer of the Sith, sexually frustrated.”

“As soon as we’re home, all comms off, doors all locked, we’re getting down to business. Right now, compartmentalize. File ‘sexually frustrated Anakin’ away and whip out ‘supportive ex-husband Anakin.’”

Anakin laughs. “Sometimes I forget I’m someone’s ex-husband.”

“The Council definitely doesn’t need to know about that,” Obi-Wan declares. “Imagine the scandal of a secret marriage with a senator. Your Master might actually die.”

Anakin rolls his eyes at him, but kisses him anyway. “ _ I _ might actually die. The Chosen One thing can excuse one attachment, not two.”

—

“This is too soon,” Padmé says, pacing her apartment, holding her belly as she does. She’s in such denial that she’s refusing to go to the hospital. Sabé follows behind her, taking the pins out of her hair from her appearance in the Senate before her water broke. “This is too soon, I’m not ready. I don’t know how to be a mother. This was supposed to happen at home, in a month. I need Palo. I need my mom.”

“Well, we’re what you’ve got, right, Sabé?” Anakin says, taking one of her hands and guiding her to the couch. Sabé comes up behind her to finish with the hairpins while Obi-Wan and Anakin sit on either side of her.

All of a sudden, Padmé grips the hand Anakin’s holding and reaches out for Obi-Wan’s arm, squeezing tight as she shouts in pain.

“I’m calling the doctor,” Sabé declares, discarding the pins on an end table.

“I can’t,” Padmé says, gritting her teeth. “I can’t do this.”

“Okay, look me in the eyes,” Obi-Wan says, using a hand to guide her face to his. “Look at me, focus on me. Anakin, what did the mind healer teach you about breathing?”

“Four seconds in, hold for seven seconds, eight seconds out,” Anakin says, giving Padmé’s hand three gentle squeezes.

“Padmé, breathe in four seconds, hold for seven, let it out for eight. Can you do that for me?”

Anakin loves to see Obi-Wan take charge and this is one of the most endearing moments he’s ever seen. Padmé and Obi-Wan are two of the people Anakin loves most in the galaxy and watching them interact is a treat.

“No, no, keep an eye on me. Breathe, focus on my eyes, okay?”  _ Oh no, she might drown in them. _ “Okay, okay, good.”

The next contraction doesn’t bring a scream, but it brings a whimper and a hard squeeze to her friends’ limbs.

“The physician is on her way,” Sabé reports, “and Palo is as well.”

“He’s going to miss the birth of his baby,” Padmé says, openly weeping. 

“The two of you will be home on Naboo for the next one, I promise,” Anakin tells her comfortingly.

“You plan on more than one kid? That’s nice. I hope you’re prepared for us to spoil the hell out of them,” Obi-Wan says with a grin.

Padmé manages a weak chuckle. “We want at least three. He’s an only child and I just have my sister. She has two kids of her own.”

“They’re pretty cute. Are the girls excited to have a cousin?” Anakin asks.

“B—  _ oh, that fucking hurts. _ ”

Anakin feels his bones strain under the tight squeeze Padmé has his hand in. “Remember to breathe, okay?”

Padmé nods, not looking away from Obi-Wan. She keeps breathing and breathing and breathing.

She doesn’t let them go when the physician arrives, insisting they sit on the bed on either side of her and hold her hands. Anakin never thought he’d be in Padmé’s bed ever again, but here he is, looking at her as his friend who needs a friend or two.

It happens pretty fast. Out comes a boy with dark hair with nowhere to go but into Obi-Wan’s arm.

“Luke,” Padmé says, naming her son. The way Obi-Wan looks at him is full of love for a new member of their patchwork family. It makes Anakin smile.

Completely blindsiding them all is the birth of a second baby, a little girl. “Leia.”

Anakin has to take the brown-haired little girl in the arm that Padmé isn’t clutching. Thankfully that’s the last of them.

The birth is over by the time Ellé and Moteé arrive with a crib and blankets and clothing for the new baby, something they didn’t think they needed until they were on Naboo. Luckily the crib is large enough for two.

Anakin is reluctant to give up the baby. She’s perfect. Brand new to the world, but she still looks just like Padmé. He instantly loves the babies, his little niece and nephew. He knows the babies need skin-to-skin contact with their mother, so he gives her up, but he wants to hold them both as soon as possible. Luke and Leia are his family now.

—

Obi-Wan wasn’t lying when he said all comms off, doors all locked, getting down to business. Robes are pushed off their shoulders as soon as they’re through the door, Obi-Wan attaching his lips to Anakin’s neck.

“Oh, this is sudden,” Anakin says with a squeak.

Obi-Wan pulls back. “Do you not want—”

“I  _ do  _ want, like a lot. I just thought you’d take me to bed first,” Anakin admits, his cheeks turning the slightest tinge of pink.

Obi-Wan’s hands meet the backs of Anakin’s thighs and Anakin instinctually slings his arms around Obi-Wan’s neck to be carried off to their bedroom.

Anakin is complaining in the Force.  _ Too many clothes. Too many layers.  _

Obi-Wan is quick to remedy that situation, first helping Anakin with his clothes before working on his own.

_ Touch me, touch me, touch me. Kiss me. _

They don’t have to tell each other what they want because their bond is so open and free-flowing that they just  _ know _ . Anakin simply thinks what he wants and Obi-Wan is open and oh so willing to give it to him.

So he gives in. He presses his lips to Anakin’s as his hand dips between them and wraps around his cock. He wasn’t lying about how sexually frustrated he is — he’s sprung up at a simple touch.

Anakin takes control of the kiss while Obi-Wan continues stroking him, his other hand winding in his long blond curls. Anakin sucks on Obi-Wan’s lower lip before moving to kiss his cheeks and the curve of his jaw, leaving a love bite on a spot below his ear.

_ Need you. _ It comes from both of them, falling into the space they share in the Force from both sides.  _ Need you. _

The kissing and the touching halts for a moment, only long enough for Obi-Wan to grab the tube of bacta from the bedside table, then the kissing resumes and a new kind of touching comes into play.

Obi-Wan’s been a little desperate for this too if his line of thought is anything to go off of. The both of them are in favor of speeding it up a little bit. Obi-Wan wants the heat and pressure of Anakin to squeeze his cock instead of his fingers. It’s been a while though and Anakin needs a bit of time to warm up after such a long dormancy.

_ Taking too long. I’m fine. _

Obi-Wan looks at him skeptically and doesn’t stop what he’s doing, just having to ignore Anakin’s insistence jumping at him and prodding him in the Force.  _ You’ll thank me later. _

“I’m not going to break,” Anakin says aloud, shifting so Obi-Wan’s fingers slip out of him.

“Did I  _ say  _ you were going to break?”

“No,” Anakin concedes. “You didn’t even think it.”

“Exactly. Lie back and I’ll show you exactly what I think.”

Anakin gets the most delighted grin on his face, making himself comfortably positioned on the pillows while Obi-Wan plots the proper alignment for their hips. Before Anakin grouses at him to get on with it, Obi-Wan sinks into him, drawing a pleasured groan out of them both.

“Fuck,” Anakin moans, head tipping back to expose the pale expanse of his neck. Obi-Wan sinks his teeth into his jugular, savoring the crackling sound that comes from Anakin’s throat and the salty taste of sweat on his skin.

Anakin babbles, both in the Force and out loud and it’s a little bit cute, but also a huge turn on to listen to him say  _ fuck, you’re so good, you feel so good, I love you so much, you fuck me so good, I love you, just like that. _

They don’t need to actively think, they just know with the way their bodies move together what the other needs. Anakin knows to roll his hips up into Obi-Wan’s thrusts. Obi-Wan knows to speed up or slow down, take it slow or take it hard. It’s all up to Anakin.

Anakin doesn’t last very long considering how long he’s been waiting to get laid. He comes and Obi-Wan comes and it’s all very overwhelming. It’s overwhelming to be so in love with a person and express it physically.

They snuggle afterward, languidly kissing and holding each other close. This is happiness.

—

Anakin actually cries when he sees his mom again. Her arms wrap around him and he cries like a baby. He’s missed her. Hasn’t seen her since that “meditation retreat” where he spent the entire time being a recently divorced, lovelorn idiot.

He smiles through his tears at the kisses she leaves on Obi-Wan’s cheeks. She loves him just like Anakin does. Not as much, not in the same way, but she owes his life to him and she’s entrusted her son’s heart to him. Anakin didn’t have to tell her outright, but she’s known for a while, even if they didn’t say a thing.  _ A mother knows, Ani _ , she told him through holo as he invited her to Coruscant.

They both talked to her whenever the war allowed, so maybe she noticed that the way they talked about each other changed. She’s always been astute. Anakin didn’t inherit that trait. He’s oblivious half the time. It’s why it took so long to finally realize Obi-Wan had feelings for him. They had to outright admit it. Hell, they slept together before they admitted it. Even then Anakin thought he might be joking. Maybe that wasn’t obliviousness as much as insecurity.

“I take it you invited us here for a reason more important than a mere visit,” she deduces. Anakin feels his throat go dry as he looks to Obi-Wan.

“We are getting married,” he admits, his voice cracking a bit, “and I wanted my mom to be here for it.”

She smiles. “Well, I’m glad I made it.”

—

They can’t get married in the Jedi Temple, unfortunately, but Padmé found them a nice venue big enough for their best friends and family to bear witness to such an important event in their lives.

Anakin is antsy. All they have to do is swear a few vows and they’ll be married, no big deal, they’ve sworn vows to each other before. This is different. This is official. There’s a certificate to sign.

All of his anxiety floats away when he looks into Obi-Wan’s eyes. Blue-grey-green, depending on how the light hits them. Beautiful. Anakin’s love is reflected back at him right there from those eyes.

He operates on autopilot through the boilerplate wedding ceremony requirements coming from Threepio, grinning like an idiot and gazing deeply into his soon-to-be husband’s eyes.

“Would you like to say a few words, Master Ani?” Threepio prompts.

Anakin’s unsure of what to say. He’s terrible with his words, especially saying how he feels. He’s still not sure how Padmé fell for his stupid attempts at flirting. He can’t figure out what to say so he just word-vomits what he’s thinking. “I’m in love. I think I’ve been in love with you since the day I met you. I remember I told you I love you for the first time right after you were knighted, but I felt it long before then. You were my best friend, you  _ are  _ my best friend. I asked you not to be afraid to love me and you let go of that fear and I… I knew I was going to be tied to you forever. Attachment. I’m so attached. I want to be attached to you for the rest of my days because, Obi-Wan, I love you more than I ever thought possible, with every fiber of my being. I want to be your husband.”

How did the war go on for so long when Obi-Wan’s smile can so obviously end them? Anakin is so, so, so,  _ so  _ enamored.

“Master Kenobi, would you like to say a few words?”

“Yes, thank you, Threepio,” Obi-Wan says. “Anakin, my darling, you are the most grounding, comforting, reassuring influence in my life. You’ve taught me to let go of my fears, whether it be falling to the dark side or falling in love. I thought being chosen as a Padawan or having a successful mission or winning a lightsaber duel would make me feel right, but something always felt wrong. I waited and waited and waited so long to feel right and I came to discover that when I’m with you, I feel right. I didn’t realize it at first, I don’t think I realized it until you gave me a rose on my birthday, but you were it. You were worth waiting for, Anakin Skywalker.” Anakin is crying and he’s sure he looks like an idiot, but Obi-Wan drops one of his hands and cradles his face in his newly freed hand and brushes a tear away with his thumb. “Ahsoka said in her culture, we’d be considered soulmates. I think she’s right. With you, I feel complete. You are my everything, Anakin.” Everything he says is so beautiful in that crisp, clean Coruscanti accent. So beautiful.

Anakin operates on autopilot again, saying ‘I do’ when prompted and kissing his newly-declared husband. He can feel the smile on Obi-Wan’s face against his lips and he hears a whoop from one of their friends. Probably Fives. He had a lot of credits riding on this.

Everything about this day has been perfect, but most of all Obi-Wan. He loves him as a man, as a Jedi, as a general, as a friend, as a lover, and as a husband.

—

Their wedding night is a success. Anakin lost count of how many times he came. Obi-Wan is a Jedi Master and a master at getting Anakin off.

When he wakes up, blinking, he notices Obi-Wan gazing at him.

“Do you always watch me while I sleep?” Anakin asks with a yawn.

“Always,” Obi-Wan, his  _ husband _ , says with a grin.

Anakin threads his mechno-fingers through Obi-Wan’s hair and pulls him in for a kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you too, darling.”

“I can’t believe we’re married. I can’t believe it made Master Windu cry.”

“Mace crying wasn’t quite on my list of expectations, but it was sweet nonetheless.”

They grow quiet again and Anakin fills the silence with a gentle kiss. “I’m glad Mom was there..”

“It is certainly a treat to see her,” Obi-Wan agrees. “We’re meant to have lunch with her, Cliegg, Owen, and Beru, by the way. They’re officially welcoming me to the family.”

“On Tatooine that means a… well, I’ll let you be surprised.”

Obi-Wan smiles at him. “I hope it’s nothing too bad.”

“No, it’s a good thing. You know, we’re lucky they’re not bigots like the rest of the planet. Mom fell in love with a good man.”

“I fell in love with a good man too.”

“I say the same thing all the time in my head. I can’t believe the boy who barely tolerated me, but still taught me to read is the man who married me.” Anakin touches him with his flesh and blood hand. “I can’t believe it’s real.”

“I can’t believe my biggest annoyance is the man I fell for. It was surprising enough that you became my best friend, but realizing how I truly felt for you was a shock to my system.”

“War changes people,” Anakin says sadly. “Can’t believe it took you faking your own death for you to finally fuck me.”

Obi-Wan snorts. “That’s when I stopped repressing my desire for you. It’s when I decided I was wrong and that I’m desperately in love with you.”

Anakin smiles. “I’m glad you did. I’m glad you let me in at all considering how obnoxious I was to you.”

“You gave me a rose, Anakin. How could I deny you?”

Anakin feels as if he’s going to cry. He  _ does  _ cry as he kisses Obi-Wan again. “I’d give you a million roses just to see you smile.”

And smile he does.


	25. He Takes His Hand (Epilogue)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin and Obi-Wan grow old.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took a long time with this and I'm still not entirely happy. There are gaps where I'm not sure what I wanted to say, but ultimately I landed here.  
> TW for cancer, major character death (kind of but not really)

“Happy birthday, Obi-Wan.”

Obi-Wan looks over Anakin’s head to see a bouquet of forty flame-roses on the dresser. Of course he snuck out to pillage the Temple Gardens.

“Good morning, love,” Obi-Wan says with a fond smile. He kisses his husband softly. “Oh, I’m getting old.”

“53 isn’t old,” Anakin says with a frown. “I’m turning 50 soon, is  _ that  _ old?”

“You’re young at heart.”

“Well, hey, you’re young where it counts,” Anakin remarks, dipping his hand into Obi-Wan’s sleep pants. “Let’s see about making it a  _ great  _ morning.”

Their bodies still fit together the way they have for decades. Anakin still grips the sheets as Obi-Wan works him open and kisses his thighs, he still arches his back as Obi-Wan enters him, he still falls apart under Obi-Wan’s touch.

It’s almost predictable after thirty years, but it’s great. Anakin comes undone, Obi-Wan feels overwhelmed with his love for him, they share an intense, raw pleasure between them. It’s almost routine at this point, only occasionally deviating from the norm, but they know what makes the other weak, how to get each other going.

Both spent and still entwined, he and Anakin share a blissful laugh and a kiss. Obi-Wan decides it is a great morning indeed. 

—

Obi-Wan sighs as he looks in the mirror. The hair that used to be auburn is now honey blond with streaks of white. He has laughter lines and a faint silvery scar on his cheek from negotiations gone wrong. He looks his age.

Anakin may insist that he’s not old, but he  _ feels _ old. Maybe it’s the fact that he fought a war when he was less than half his age now. Now he’s just like the late Grand Master Yoda, tutoring younglings and trying to keep the peace between councilors. 

He’s the youngest Grand Master in centuries, so he must not be  _ that  _ old, but he feels it. The aches leftover from the war have left him feeling twenty years older than he is.

He never expected to be Yoda’s successor, but it happened. He had expected someone else, but they were all growing increasingly old for their species and soon to flicker out. They elected Obi-Wan for his youth and temperament. Anakin hemmed and hawed, not wanting to look like he was playing favorites, but he couldn’t bring himself to be the sole dissenter.

The Council looks entirely different compared to the way it looked during the war. Councilors have passed or stepped down. Being Grand Master to this council is different than what Master Yoda must’ve seen over the centuries. Time in general feels different than it was then.

—

Anakin loves him so much. 

He watches, gazing at Obi-Wan as he teaches a little boy, Leia’s son Ben, how to pick up a training saber.

“Don’t hold it by the end, young one. Put your hand around the grip, just like that.”

He can barely lift the thing, but Obi-Wan is patient and kind with him. Leia only lets him come to the Temple when she’s working hard in the Senate, so they savor their time with their little grandnephew. 

Padmé and Palo were very disappointed when Leia married a scoundrel of a smuggler, but she changed her tune once they met their grandchild.

“What’re you doing, Uncle Ani?”

Anakin turns and sees Luke behind him with a smile on his face. He looks so much like his father, almost like a clone. Unlike his father, he’s Force-sensitive, a  _ Jedi. _ A much better Jedi than Anakin himself is quite frankly. He’ll make the Council one day.

“Just watching,” he replies, turning back to see Ben attempt a swing at the training dummy, but falling over with the momentum. Luckily Obi-Wan is there to catch him, laughing and lifting him up in the air. Ben giggles and drops the training saber as Obi-Wan makes him fly.

They never had children of their own, but Obi-Wan has been a fatherly figure to every youngling that came through. He’s not just like this with Ben because he’s family. He’s like this with all the younglings. Genuine human connection is something that the Jedi lacked for a long time, but this sort of love and care makes the future Jedi have more confidence in themselves and their abilities and the bond between members of the Order firmly solidifies them in the light; falling to the dark side would mean losing their family. That’s what they’ve turned the Order into. A family.

Anakin’s heart is so full as he watches Obi-Wan and Ben. When he feels Luke’s hand on his shoulder, he starts to cry. He always thought his family would just be him and his mom, but it’s so much more. 

—

“Hey, old man, happy birthday,” Ahsoka says, slinging her arm around Obi-Wan’s shoulders.

“Thought you were on Corellia,” he replies, looking at her with surprise.

“Yeah, but Anakin is turning 50 soon so Rex asked if we could throw a big party. Five decades. That’s a long time for a slave from Tatooine.”

“He’s very insecure about that part. Better not to mention it.”

“Of course,” she agrees. “Can you believe you’ve known him for forty fucking years?”

“Wow, your lifestyle has changed your vocabulary,” he comments. She left the Order and now she operates in a similar capacity, just a lot more fluid and less restricted, with Rex and Cody as her partners. They ally with bounty hunters now, counting Jango Fett’s son as a mentee. Rex and Cody have whipped him into shape and kept him out of jail thus far and Ahsoka helps him skirt the rules of her former captain and commander and current best friends.

“Is he still as annoying as he was when he was nine?”

“ _ Slightly _ less annoying,” Obi-Wan jokes. “He’s always been dear to me though. Even when he was an obnoxious child following me around like a lost puppy.”

“He was smitten with you. I bet he had a crush, whether he knew it or not. You’re soulmates, for fuck’s sake. Bet he never saw himself marrying you though.”

“I wanted to strangle him at times, so I absolutely never thought I’d marry him either. Especially because I’m the one who told him Jedi can’t get married.”

“You’ve always been a trailblazer,” she says, playfully tapping his nose. “I love you, Dad.”

Obi-Wan rests his head on Ahsoka’s shoulder. “You know I’m only eight years older than you.”

“You raised me during my formative years. You’re one of my dads.”

“That makes me feel far older than I am,” he says.

“Good.  _ Dad. _ ”

—

Fifty roses. The Temple Gardeners are not happy with Anakin, but they know it’s for the Grand Master, so they let it slide, especially since they know. Everyone knows.

The vase is put next to Obi-Wan’s bed in the Halls of Healing, but Obi-Wan doesn’t see them. He’s not conscious a lot nowadays. He’s too sick to get out of bed.

Stewjonian anatomy isn’t something Anakin was familiar with before Obi-Wan collapsed in their kitchen. He’s sure Obi-Wan didn’t know himself.

It’s cancer. A specialized form native to Stewjon that does much more damage to the body. Anakin’s not sure how or what that really means, but his husband is ill and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. The best healers have tried, but all they can provide is palliative care. Barriss sobbed when she told him.

Anakin spends most of his days holding Obi-Wan’s hand, wanting to be there when he wakes up. When he’s at home alone, he gets angry. He gets angry that he’s the Chosen One, a master of the Force, but he can’t stop death. It’s what Palpatine dangled in front of him all those years ago, but Anakin would never stoop so low. He doesn’t know how to stop it, so he’s stuck with a dying husband.

Obi-Wan wouldn’t want him to save him if it meant tapping into the dark side. As much as Anakin doesn’t want him to go, it’d be selfish to do it and it would alienate the man he loves with his entire being, every fiber of himself.

So he spends his time holding Obi-Wan’s hand, waiting for him to come to consciousness. His presence in the Force is still strong and Anakin holds onto it, holding it tight and close.

“Anakin.”

He looks up and sees his husband’s beautiful eyes open, a lot clearer than they’ve looked in a very long while.

“Obi-Wan,” he says, surging forward to kiss him, their teeth clacking together with the unintended force. It’s not a great kiss, but Anakin needs it.

“Anakin, it’s time.”

Anakin’s stomach drops, searching Obi-Wan’s eyes for any sense of jest. He sees none and his heart sinks. Anakin has always known deep down that one of them would outlive the other, but he wants more time. He wants an eternity more with him, but that’s unrealistic.

“Don’t worry, my love. I’ll always be here. Now then, my dear, I don’t want to die  _ here _ .”

Anakin nods, willing to do anything for him. He hates the way he can feel his bones as he helps Obi-Wan into a wheelchair. Kark, he’s so  _ thin _ . The cancer has eaten away at him so much. Anakin doesn’t cry. He doesn’t want Obi-Wan to know how scared and sad and angry he is. 

He  _ is  _ scared. He doesn’t want to be alone. Of course, he’ll never be  _ alone _ , but to know he’ll never be with Obi-Wan again is going to be tough. Kriffing hell, it’ll be tough.

“Where do you want to go?” Anakin asks, hoping his voice doesn’t wobble  _ too  _ much.

“The Room of a Thousand Fountains,” Obi-Wan decides as he takes out his own IVs. He takes a deep breath. Serene as always, even in the face of his impending death.

Anakin goes ahead and starts to wheel him, but Obi-Wan says, “The roses. Don’t forget the roses.”

People try not to stare as they walk past, but it must be hard. The Grand Master has gone from a strong, withstanding presence to a physically weak, sick man in a wheelchair.

Anakin knows which fountain Obi-Wan wants to sit beside as he goes. The one they sat beside when they renewed their vows to each other after twenty-five years of marriage. It was just them, not needing anyone else to bear witness. They were vows to each other, after all.

“Hold me,” Obi-Wan requests, and Anakin does. He helps him out of the chair and into a seated position in between Anakin’s legs and cradled in his arms.

“I love you, Obi-Wan,” Anakin says softly, voice heavy with unshed tears.

“Oh, my darling, I love you too. Don’t you fret. I will find you.”

Anakin actually believes him.

He can feel the tremble in the Force before the death rattle in Obi-Wan’s chest. He’s getting ready to go. Anakin can’t even cry. He knew this was coming. He knew that he’d be gone soon.

His body disappears. There's no hand holding his anymore, no weight in his lap, there’s nothing but his hospital robes in his arms. How can he mourn without a body? What the actual  _ fuck _ has just happened?

—

This is the second funeral for Obi-Wan he’s had to witness. Just like last time, Ahsoka holds one hand, but Padmé isn’t there to hold the other. Leia does instead.

He doesn’t feel anger, he doesn’t feel rage, but he feels something tickling him in the Force, a soft nudge that feels oh so familiar and just right.

_ “Anakin.” _

Obi-Wan’s voice is in his ears, as if he’s standing beside him and whispering.

_ “Anakin, look at me.” _

He can’t believe his eyes. He looks the way he did during the war in a holo, auburn hair dulled by a tinge of blue, eyes kind and bright. Obi-Wan is  _ there _ . He’s standing right in front of him.

He thinks,  _ am I hallucinating? _

Obi-Wan shakes his head.  _ “I’ll teach you how, like Yoda taught me and Qui-Gon taught him.” _

He’s not gone. Not really. He’s  _ right there. _

—

Anakin doesn’t steal them from the Temple Gardens anymore. The number is far too high — he gets them from a florist on Coruscant. Ninety years since he met the love of his life, forty years since he lost him.

He didn’t lose him entirely. His Force ghost is a constant presence, even when he’s not visible. Anakin is constantly being followed by what feels like a warm hug. Obi-Wan’s hugs.

They talk every night. Anakin brews a mug of Obi-Wan’s favorite tea, just to have a physical feeling of him near, and they discuss Anakin’s day.

Even nearing one-hundred years-old, Anakin has a lot of activity in his day. He succeeded Obi-Wan as Grand Master of the Order, despite his own protests. Evidently the Chosen One was born for the role. It felt wrong to step into the role vacated by the death of his husband, but he was elected and didn’t feel like he could refuse.

Anakin feels the Force buckle around him lately. His time is coming, he can feel it. Humans typically don’t live quite this long. He’s seen his loved ones die. His mom, Padmé, Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, Rex, Cody, Palo, Leia, even Jar-Jar and Vos took a lot from him emotionally.

He’s not afraid to leave his body and join the Force.

He can’t wait to take Obi-Wan’s hand.

That day, ninety roses, he does.


End file.
